IVLVS Field Journal

[BackInTheGame78]

Although I think what you're saying is bullshiit in practice (and theory), I respect your honesty.

That's OK. I think most of what you are saying is as well so I guess we are both content now.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Lol fair enough nice spin Venom.

Maybe to you but I happen to know some women who seek sex with random men on swipe apps for validation and ego and it has very little to do with her being sexually attracted to him let alone highly attracted.
It's simply for internal validation and ego only, and there are reasons for this that I won't bother getting into. But they admit it, own it and make no apologies for it.

How is a woman having sex with guys who aren't attractive, validating to her?

Make it make sense.

Perhaps you can make a thread dedicated to explaining this.

Just like some men have admitted they can have sex with a women with a paper bag over her head, people have and enjoy sex for all sorts of reasons! That in some cases have little to do with sexual attraction.

Sexual attraction is a spectrum.

"Ugly, but doable" means that there is still a level of sexual attractiveness there.

That said if you could answer this question, I'd really appreciate it as I am actually seeking understanding here NOT just to debate with you about it.

Run it.

People generally place a higher personal value on achievements, items, people and outcomes when they invest direct effort to attain them. This is pretty much universally believed.

I agree.

Things including people that are attained so easily and without any effort typically end up becoming a big YAWN.

And is true for both men and women. Both people shouid be making effort... in different ways or sometimes in the same way.

But that's the problem; it isn't true for both men and women.

It is the men who have to "work" at impressing the woman.

He is the one (usually) investing the money, while at the same time razzling and dazzling her, with the hopes that she likes him enough to give him the time of day.

And if his attempts fail, she is the one who gets to walk away with her head high, feeling validated. While he walks away disappointed, with his head held low.

This is a strike against his pride, ego, self esteem.

The woman is placed on a pedestal, as if she is superior to him and he must do or say things to accommodate her...and worship the ground she walks on.

And what I'm saying is, "No ma'am".

That is the first problem, the man is in an inferior position from the very beginning.

There lies the problem.

Can you honestly say you value and respect a woman who has agreed to jump in bed with you (or the car or Walmart parking lot) before having so much as a conversation with you?

Yes, I can.

Here is an analogy.

Let's say, there is a mechanic...who only provide services to women car owners (for sake of the analogy)

This mechanic does business like this..

All of the women he doesn't find attractive, he charges full price for car services.

But, all the women he DOES find attractive, they get their car fixed...for FREE.

One day, your car is on the verge of breaking down, but you manage to drive it to his shop.

You explain to him the issues you're having with the car.

He takes one look at you and say, "Don't worry about the costs, ma'am. I got it covered. Free of charge".

You ask, "What did I do to deserve this?".

He responds, "Ma'am, you're gorgeous. You're beauty is my payment".

Now, you don't find the value in that?

What does that say about him?

More importantly, what does that say about..YOU?

There is value in being a "select" man, that, while she makes other guys wine and dine her for even the possibility of sex...she doesn't do that with the select guy.

And there is value in her cooperating with your program...because this tends to lead to other cooperative actions down the line.

I am not even talking about a date, you are against a man even having a 15 minute conversation with a woman until she agrees to fukk him.

When you can provide a solid reason as to why a 15-minute conversation is beneficial, I'll start having those conversations.

You have posted this.

I realize it's a HUGE win for you and ego boost/validation but again how does it affect YOUR interest in them and how much you value and respect them?

Or does that not matter to you?

I ask this earnestly.

It all goes back to cooperation.

I am highly interested in a woman who cooperates.

Cooperation is to be VALUED.

A woman who is a 4, and cooperates...is more attractive than a woman who is a 10, and refuses to cooperate.

 

[plumber]

A woman who is a 4, and cooperates...is more attractive than a woman who is a 10, and refuses to cooperate.

Now that is a quote for history and the future. Nice.

 

[Sega Genesis]

How is a woman having sex with guys who aren't attractive, validating to her?

Make it make sense.

^^OK I'll try...

I did not say she doesn't find him attractive physically. I said she is not sexually "attracted to" him.

Sexual attraction for many women (not all) is different from men's attraction. We can't/don't just look at a man from a distance (for example) and get the equivalent of a boner/hard on like men do when they see a physically attractive woman.

There needs to be some sort of emotional element for many women which is typically achieved through conversation, spending time and feeling safe/comfortable.

Combined with finding him physically attractive all adds up to a woman becoming "attracted to" him. And having the desire to have hot sexual relations with him!

This takes time which is different depending on the woman, the man, their chemistry and how they vibe together. It could happen same night they meet, first date or three dates.

But it's very rare when she can look at him for two seconds at Walmart or Target and immediately wants to head out to the parking lot or car to bang or give a BJ before ever even having a conversation with him.

i know you have had these experiences so won't debate you about it, I just can't relate that's all. And believe there might be something else at play in those situations. Jmo.

For me and other women I associate with, I find many men physically attractive but I am NOT "attracted to" them and feel no desire to have sex with them!

I do realize this is foreign to many men because it's not their experience or how they experience sexual attraction.

Again not talking about all women, but many from what I know about women in my circle and neck and through observation including reading LRs here.

In any event I echo what you said to BITG and appreciate your honesty as well.

Gotta run, good chatting!

Ciao.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

^^OK I'll try...

I did not say she doesn't find him attractive physically. I said she is not sexually "attracted to" him.

Physical attraction - Sexual attraction.

This^ is called, a distinction without a difference.

It is the same thang.

It is like comparing the statement "Are you ok?", to "How are you feeling?".

It's the same question, but different wording.

Sexual attraction for many women (not all) is different from men's attraction. We can't/don't just look at a man from a distance (for example) and get the equivalent of a boner/hard on like men do when they see a physically attractive woman.

So, erect nipples and vaginal lubrication doesn't equate to sexual attraction, with women?

There needs to be some sort of emotional element for many women which is typically achieved through conversation, spending time and feeling safe/comfortable.

I truly believe that this^ is one of the biggest myths, in the history of myths.

One of the biggest deceptions ever told.

Many restaurants and social venues have profited off this myth.

It's disgusting, actually...to see you perpetrate it.

Combined with finding him physically attractive all adds up to a woman becoming "attracted to" him. And having the desire to have hot sexual relations with him!

This takes time which is different depending on the woman, the man, their chemistry and how they vibe together. It could happen same night they meet, first date or three dates.

The chemistry/rapport building is more geared towards, the compatibility involving a potential long-term partner or spouse.

It has very little, to NO correlation as it pertains to non-monogamist sexual companionship.

But it's very rare when she can look at him for two seconds at Walmart or Target and immediately wants to head out to the parking lot or car to bang or give a BJ before ever even having a conversation with him.

I agree.

And those are rare, extreme situations that I shared.

So you folks know just how far high interest can go.

i know you have had these experiences so won't debate you about it, I just can't relate that's all. And believe there might be something else at play in those situations. Jmo.

And on the flipside, I also believe there are things at play as to why you can't relate.

For me and other women I associate with, I find many men physically attractive but I am NOT "attracted to" them and feel no desire to have sex with them!

Then obviously, your physical attraction towards those men ain't HIGH, now is it?

That's the point I keep stressing!!

If it was high enough, you would have sex with them.

Sexual/physical attraction isn't dialed or set to just one frequency, as you keep putting it.

It is a spectrum, all across the board.

In any event I echo what you said to BITG and appreciate your honesty as well.

What did I say to the fella?

Gotta run, good chatting!

Ciao.

Yeah, run over here so I can demonstrate what high sexual attraction truly is.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Hey friends. I’m back with a quick update on the date I posted about before, the one where I was too slow to make a physical move and sparked a little debate.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the girl agreed to see me again, and I saw her a couple of hours ago.

This time I picked her up at her house, she lives with her mom, and I had the idea of visiting a small town nearby. So we drove over there. The place has a nice park, plenty of space to walk around, and a few spots to grab snacks, so it seemed like a good environment for building a more romantic vibe.

This time I was more physical from the beginning. While I was driving, I grabbed her hand and started being a little more playful with touching her.

Once we got there, we found a bench and sat down to talk. At one point, she was showing me something on her phone, so we were already sitting pretty close. I basically let instinct take over. I looked into her eyes, leaned in, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, literally about a second.

Then we kept talking, and I gradually continued escalating. I touched her leg, played with her hand, she played with mine, and eventually we were sitting there with our fingers intertwined.

For the next kiss, the atmosphere was already there, so I wanted to slow it down a little: caress her cheek, gently hold her face, build some anticipation, and then go for a proper kiss. That’s exactly what I did, and the second kiss was much more passionate.

From there, we kept talking and making out here and there. Eventually we went for a walk, grabbed a couple of ice creams, and continued talking. Later we sat down again just as the sun was setting, which made the whole thing feel a lot more intimate. Once it got a little darker, the kissing became more passionate.

Eventually it was time for me to leave, around 20:00. The date started pretty late because this week I had night shifts and didn’t wake up until around 14:00. I picked her up at roughly 17:00.

When we got back to my car, before she opened the door, I wanted to try something a little different. I took her hand, pulled her gently toward me, put my arms around her waist, she put hers around my shoulders, and we had a really good make-out session before leaving.

She was also particularly playful today. She kept teasing me about my age, I’m literally only four years older than her, lol, but apparently in her mind that makes me ancient, and about a bunch of other things. Like, really teasing me. I don’t know whether she was testing how I would react or whether that’s simply her personality, but either way I didn’t care. I laughed it off, played along, and kissed her.

I also got an interesting little glimpse into dating dynamics from the other side. She told me there’s a guy at her job who is basically obsessed with her, but the guy is a total AFC. Apparently, around two months ago he took her to see a movie, and according to her the date completely sucked. She said the guy couldn’t keep a conversation going at all. I’m not exactly Mr. Talkative myself, she probably does 70% of the talking when we’re together (learned from this site of course). She even told him, “Go ask ChatGPT how to have a conversation with someone like me.” Poor guy.

Apparently he also keeps sending her absolute WALLS of text. She showed me some of them and was laughing about it. His latest message was some super-romantic speech about how people supposedly have three “real loves” in their lifetime or something like that. I jokingly told her to reply just so we could see what he would say next. Sure enough, the guy sent another massive wall of text, apologizing for taking too long to answer and continuing with the whole “three loves” thing. My man is about to learn a lesson. Just like most of us have learned lessons at some point.

And that was actually the interesting part for me: I recognized some of my old behavior in those messages. I remembered begging my ex for another chance years ago, and I also recognized that same anxious mindset I sometimes still fall into while texting, double-texting, overthinking everything, wondering whether I said the wrong thing, etc. Seeing it from the outside was pretty eye-opening. On one side a man infatuated with her, on the other side another guy sticking his tongue in her mouth. That's the way of the road (Ray's quote from Trailer Park Boys).

Anyway, my plan is to see this girl again next weekend. I told her I might come to her city on Saturday and that, if I do, I’ll take her to a bar. I also told her I’d confirm later in the week. I’ll suggest continuing the night at the Airbnb (following BPH's advice about not asking, just leading) I’ll be staying at and see whether she’s interested.

My most recent experience of actually taking things that far with someone was with my ex about seven years ago. I already knew her from high school, and on our second date, after some drinks and kissing, I suggested going to a nearby motel. She told me, “Nothing is going to happen.” I said something like, “Yeah, sure, I just want to watch a movie.” Half an hour later, we were having sex.

I’m thinking the move would simply be to invite her back to the Airbnb and see how she responds. I definitely won’t be driving drunk on the highway at night anyway. My question is what you guys think if she simply says “no” to coming back with me, or if she agrees to come over but later says something like, “Not yet, it’s too soon.” Something similar happened to me with another girl about two months ago, and I ended up losing interest in her. Ironically, she still reacts to almost every story I post and seems interested in keeping in touch.
-----------

Now, regarding the other girl I mentioned, the one who is probably the hottest, or at least one of the hottest, women I’ve ever gone out with:

My current plan is to take her to a chill bar this Friday, have some drinks, talk, build the vibe, and, go for the kiss and see where things go.

Originally I wanted to take her to the zoo, but with my work schedule this week that’s going to be almost impossible unless I see her on Sunday. She already told me she’s almost never available on Sundays, though, so the bar is probably the more realistic option. And if I see the previous chick, I'll be arriving to my home on Sunday, just to take a shower and meet this other girl.
-----------

A couple of important logistical things:

Bringing someone back to my place this month, and probably next month too, is going to be complicated.

I’m in the middle of moving closer to my job, and I’ve already started selling a lot of my furniture. Because of that, my apartment looks pretty bare right now, and I’m slightly concerned that someone walking in might get the impression that I’m struggling financially rather than simply being in the middle of a move.

Hopefully by September I’ll already be settled into the new place I went to look at last Saturday.

I've been wanting to cold approach but my work shift hasn't helped and the few times I'm at a place where there might be girls, not one of them sparks something inside me, and I do not want to approach faking interest. There was one MILF that looked hot, I even talked to her a little, but I didn't want to go for the number. I think she wasn't my type. Maybe I should still open those women even if I don't have a particular interest in them for the long term, just to practice.

Anyway, that’s the update.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Hey friends. I’m back with a quick update on the date I posted about before, the one where I was too slow to make a physical move and sparked a little debate.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the girl agreed to see me again, and I saw her a couple of hours ago.

This time I picked her up at her house, she lives with her mom, and I had the idea of visiting a small town nearby. So we drove over there. The place has a nice park, plenty of space to walk around, and a few spots to grab snacks, so it seemed like a good environment for building a more romantic vibe.

This time I was more physical from the beginning. While I was driving, I grabbed her hand and started being a little more playful with touching her.

Once we got there, we found a bench and sat down to talk. At one point, she was showing me something on her phone, so we were already sitting pretty close. I basically let instinct take over. I looked into her eyes, leaned in, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, literally about a second.

Then we kept talking, and I gradually continued escalating. I touched her leg, played with her hand, she played with mine, and eventually we were sitting there with our fingers intertwined.

For the next kiss, the atmosphere was already there, so I wanted to slow it down a little: caress her cheek, gently hold her face, build some anticipation, and then go for a proper kiss. That’s exactly what I did, and the second kiss was much more passionate.

From there, we kept talking and making out here and there. Eventually we went for a walk, grabbed a couple of ice creams, and continued talking. Later we sat down again just as the sun was setting, which made the whole thing feel a lot more intimate. Once it got a little darker, the kissing became more passionate.

Eventually it was time for me to leave, around 20:00. The date started pretty late because this week I had night shifts and didn’t wake up until around 14:00. I picked her up at roughly 17:00.

When we got back to my car, before she opened the door, I wanted to try something a little different. I took her hand, pulled her gently toward me, put my arms around her waist, she put hers around my shoulders, and we had a really good make-out session before leaving.

She was also particularly playful today. She kept teasing me about my age, I’m literally only four years older than her, lol, but apparently in her mind that makes me ancient, and about a bunch of other things. Like, really teasing me. I don’t know whether she was testing how I would react or whether that’s simply her personality, but either way I didn’t care. I laughed it off, played along, and kissed her.

I also got an interesting little glimpse into dating dynamics from the other side. She told me there’s a guy at her job who is basically obsessed with her, but the guy is a total AFC. Apparently, around two months ago he took her to see a movie, and according to her the date completely sucked. She said the guy couldn’t keep a conversation going at all. I’m not exactly Mr. Talkative myself, she probably does 70% of the talking when we’re together (learned from this site of course). She even told him, “Go ask ChatGPT how to have a conversation with someone like me.” Poor guy.

Apparently he also keeps sending her absolute WALLS of text. She showed me some of them and was laughing about it. His latest message was some super-romantic speech about how people supposedly have three “real loves” in their lifetime or something like that. I jokingly told her to reply just so we could see what he would say next. Sure enough, the guy sent another massive wall of text, apologizing for taking too long to answer and continuing with the whole “three loves” thing. My man is about to learn a lesson. Just like most of us have learned lessons at some point.

And that was actually the interesting part for me: I recognized some of my old behavior in those messages. I remembered begging my ex for another chance years ago, and I also recognized that same anxious mindset I sometimes still fall into while texting, double-texting, overthinking everything, wondering whether I said the wrong thing, etc. Seeing it from the outside was pretty eye-opening. On one side a man infatuated with her, on the other side another guy sticking his tongue in her mouth. That's the way of the road (Ray's quote from Trailer Park Boys).

Anyway, my plan is to see this girl again next weekend. I told her I might come to her city on Saturday and that, if I do, I’ll take her to a bar. I also told her I’d confirm later in the week. I’ll suggest continuing the night at the Airbnb (following BPH's advice about not asking, just leading) I’ll be staying at and see whether she’s interested.

My most recent experience of actually taking things that far with someone was with my ex about seven years ago. I already knew her from high school, and on our second date, after some drinks and kissing, I suggested going to a nearby motel. She told me, “Nothing is going to happen.” I said something like, “Yeah, sure, I just want to watch a movie.” Half an hour later, we were having sex.

I’m thinking the move would simply be to invite her back to the Airbnb and see how she responds. I definitely won’t be driving drunk on the highway at night anyway. My question is what you guys think if she simply says “no” to coming back with me, or if she agrees to come over but later says something like, “Not yet, it’s too soon.” Something similar happened to me with another girl about two months ago, and I ended up losing interest in her. Ironically, she still reacts to almost every story I post and seems interested in keeping in touch.
-----------

Now, regarding the other girl I mentioned, the one who is probably the hottest, or at least one of the hottest, women I’ve ever gone out with:

My current plan is to take her to a chill bar this Friday, have some drinks, talk, build the vibe, and, go for the kiss and see where things go.

Originally I wanted to take her to the zoo, but with my work schedule this week that’s going to be almost impossible unless I see her on Sunday. She already told me she’s almost never available on Sundays, though, so the bar is probably the more realistic option. And if I see the previous chick, I'll be arriving to my home on Sunday, just to take a shower and meet this other girl.
-----------

A couple of important logistical things:

Bringing someone back to my place this month, and probably next month too, is going to be complicated.

I’m in the middle of moving closer to my job, and I’ve already started selling a lot of my furniture. Because of that, my apartment looks pretty bare right now, and I’m slightly concerned that someone walking in might get the impression that I’m struggling financially rather than simply being in the middle of a move.

Hopefully by September I’ll already be settled into the new place I went to look at last Saturday.

I've been wanting to cold approach but my work shift hasn't helped and the few times I'm at a place where there might be girls, not one of them sparks something inside me, and I do not want to approach faking interest. There was one MILF that looked hot, I even talked to her a little, but I didn't want to go for the number. I think she wasn't my type. Maybe I should still open those women even if I don't have a particular interest in them for the long term, just to practice.

Anyway, that’s the update.

Thanks for reading.

Good stuff.

You might need to give these girls names or number them. I’ve lost track of who’s who.

Anyway, I’m glad you’re having fun.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hey friends. I’m back with a quick update on the date I posted about before, the one where I was too slow to make a physical move and sparked a little debate.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the girl agreed to see me again, and I saw her a couple of hours ago.

This time I picked her up at her house, she lives with her mom, and I had the idea of visiting a small town nearby. So we drove over there. The place has a nice park, plenty of space to walk around, and a few spots to grab snacks, so it seemed like a good environment for building a more romantic vibe.

This time I was more physical from the beginning. While I was driving, I grabbed her hand and started being a little more playful with touching her.

Once we got there, we found a bench and sat down to talk. At one point, she was showing me something on her phone, so we were already sitting pretty close. I basically let instinct take over. I looked into her eyes, leaned in, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, literally about a second.

Then we kept talking, and I gradually continued escalating. I touched her leg, played with her hand, she played with mine, and eventually we were sitting there with our fingers intertwined.

For the next kiss, the atmosphere was already there, so I wanted to slow it down a little: caress her cheek, gently hold her face, build some anticipation, and then go for a proper kiss. That’s exactly what I did, and the second kiss was much more passionate.

From there, we kept talking and making out here and there. Eventually we went for a walk, grabbed a couple of ice creams, and continued talking. Later we sat down again just as the sun was setting, which made the whole thing feel a lot more intimate. Once it got a little darker, the kissing became more passionate.

Eventually it was time for me to leave, around 20:00. The date started pretty late because this week I had night shifts and didn’t wake up until around 14:00. I picked her up at roughly 17:00.

When we got back to my car, before she opened the door, I wanted to try something a little different. I took her hand, pulled her gently toward me, put my arms around her waist, she put hers around my shoulders, and we had a really good make-out session before leaving.

She was also particularly playful today. She kept teasing me about my age, I’m literally only four years older than her, lol, but apparently in her mind that makes me ancient, and about a bunch of other things. Like, really teasing me. I don’t know whether she was testing how I would react or whether that’s simply her personality, but either way I didn’t care. I laughed it off, played along, and kissed her.

I also got an interesting little glimpse into dating dynamics from the other side. She told me there’s a guy at her job who is basically obsessed with her, but the guy is a total AFC. Apparently, around two months ago he took her to see a movie, and according to her the date completely sucked. She said the guy couldn’t keep a conversation going at all. I’m not exactly Mr. Talkative myself, she probably does 70% of the talking when we’re together (learned from this site of course). She even told him, “Go ask ChatGPT how to have a conversation with someone like me.” Poor guy.

Apparently he also keeps sending her absolute WALLS of text. She showed me some of them and was laughing about it. His latest message was some super-romantic speech about how people supposedly have three “real loves” in their lifetime or something like that. I jokingly told her to reply just so we could see what he would say next. Sure enough, the guy sent another massive wall of text, apologizing for taking too long to answer and continuing with the whole “three loves” thing. My man is about to learn a lesson. Just like most of us have learned lessons at some point.

And that was actually the interesting part for me: I recognized some of my old behavior in those messages. I remembered begging my ex for another chance years ago, and I also recognized that same anxious mindset I sometimes still fall into while texting, double-texting, overthinking everything, wondering whether I said the wrong thing, etc. Seeing it from the outside was pretty eye-opening. On one side a man infatuated with her, on the other side another guy sticking his tongue in her mouth. That's the way of the road (Ray's quote from Trailer Park Boys).

Anyway, my plan is to see this girl again next weekend. I told her I might come to her city on Saturday and that, if I do, I’ll take her to a bar. I also told her I’d confirm later in the week. I’ll suggest continuing the night at the Airbnb (following BPH's advice about not asking, just leading) I’ll be staying at and see whether she’s interested.

My most recent experience of actually taking things that far with someone was with my ex about seven years ago. I already knew her from high school, and on our second date, after some drinks and kissing, I suggested going to a nearby motel. She told me, “Nothing is going to happen.” I said something like, “Yeah, sure, I just want to watch a movie.” Half an hour later, we were having sex.

I’m thinking the move would simply be to invite her back to the Airbnb and see how she responds. I definitely won’t be driving drunk on the highway at night anyway. My question is what you guys think if she simply says “no” to coming back with me, or if she agrees to come over but later says something like, “Not yet, it’s too soon.” Something similar happened to me with another girl about two months ago, and I ended up losing interest in her. Ironically, she still reacts to almost every story I post and seems interested in keeping in touch.
-----------

Now, regarding the other girl I mentioned, the one who is probably the hottest, or at least one of the hottest, women I’ve ever gone out with:

My current plan is to take her to a chill bar this Friday, have some drinks, talk, build the vibe, and, go for the kiss and see where things go.

Originally I wanted to take her to the zoo, but with my work schedule this week that’s going to be almost impossible unless I see her on Sunday. She already told me she’s almost never available on Sundays, though, so the bar is probably the more realistic option. And if I see the previous chick, I'll be arriving to my home on Sunday, just to take a shower and meet this other girl.
-----------

A couple of important logistical things:

Bringing someone back to my place this month, and probably next month too, is going to be complicated.

I’m in the middle of moving closer to my job, and I’ve already started selling a lot of my furniture. Because of that, my apartment looks pretty bare right now, and I’m slightly concerned that someone walking in might get the impression that I’m struggling financially rather than simply being in the middle of a move.

Hopefully by September I’ll already be settled into the new place I went to look at last Saturday.

I've been wanting to cold approach but my work shift hasn't helped and the few times I'm at a place where there might be girls, not one of them sparks something inside me, and I do not want to approach faking interest. There was one MILF that looked hot, I even talked to her a little, but I didn't want to go for the number. I think she wasn't my type. Maybe I should still open those women even if I don't have a particular interest in them for the long term, just to practice.

Anyway, that’s the update.

Thanks for reading.

Proof if the woman is interested enough it really doesn't matter WHAT you do, they will be good with it.

Nice with being more intentional about things sn going for it...see what happens when you are bold in a confident manner? As long as you are properly calibrated and paying attention to her responses, you are usually good to escalate further over time.

If this style works for you then continue doing it...it never worked for me. I can count on the number of fingers on one hand then number of second dates I got when I didn't make a move on the first one.

And I wouldn't get to five either.

That being said...start experimenting to see if you are able to shorten the time without causing yourself issues on other dates with new women.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

You might need to give these girls names or number them. I’ve lost track of who’s who.

I agree

She was also particularly playful today. She kept teasing me about my age, I’m literally only four years older than her, lol, but apparently in her mind that makes me ancient.

With this type of stuff it usually works to "Agree & Amplify". Example: "You have huge ears."
"I know, I can actually pick up local radio station frequencies on a windy day."

I’m thinking the move would simply be to invite her back to the Airbnb and see how she responds. I definitely won’t be driving drunk on the highway at night anyway. My question is what you guys think if she simply says “no” to coming back with me, or if she agrees to come over but later says something like, “Not yet, it’s too soon.”

You wouldnt drive back drunk anyways so its no big deal if she doesnt put out. If she doesnt go to the airbnb with you just be like "No problem. Let me know if you change your mind".

If she goes with you to the airbnb but gives you LMR (Last Minute Resistance), well, there are many things you can try. Just google something like "best strategies when a girl gives you last minute resistance" ; thepowermoves has a whole page about it.

Originally I wanted to take her to the zoo, but with my work schedule this week that’s going to be almost impossible unless I see her on Sunday. She already told me she’s almost never available on Sundays

Careful. If there isnt a good reason she isnt available on Sundays, maybe this girl has low interest.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I agree


With this type of stuff it usually works to "Agree & Amplify". Example: "You have huge ears."
"I know, I can actually pick up local radio station frequencies on a windy day."


You wouldnt drive back drunk anyways so its no big deal if she doesnt put out. If she doesnt go to the airbnb with you just be like "No problem. Let me know if you change your mind".

If she goes with you to the airbnb but gives you LMR (Last Minute Resistance), well, there are many things you can try. Just google something like "best strategies when a girl gives you last minute resistance" ; thepowermoves has a whole page about it.


Careful. If there isnt a good reason she isnt available on Sundays, maybe this girl has low interest.

I mean there are many reasons for not being available on Sunday...personally I almost never go out on Sundays because it's my chill day where I tend to get sh!t done and get ready for the next week and relax.

If a woman wanted to go put Sunday it would be a no from me and that wouldn't really have anything to do with interest.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Good stuff.

You might need to give these girls names or number them. I’ve lost track of who’s who.

Anyway, I’m glad you’re having fun.

Will do, thank you.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Proof if the woman is interested enough it really doesn't matter WHAT you do, they will be good with it.

Nice with being more intentional about things sn going for it...see what happens when you are bold in a confident manner? As long as you are properly calibrated and paying attention to her responses, you are usually good to escalate further over time.

If this style works for you then continue doing it...it never worked for me. I can count on the number of fingers on one hand then number of second dates I got when I didn't make a move on the first one.

And I wouldn't get to five either.

That being said...start experimenting to see if you are able to shorten the time without causing yourself issues on other dates with new women.

What I'm also getting out of this is that the best IOI is getting a "Yes". Chicks will say, do, play mind games, etc. But you really cut through the bull**** when you ask for action.

I'm not sure about this style as being me. I think it's just me starting to get comfortable doing things. The more I push my boundaries, the more I think I will escalate conveying excitement, rather than anxiety. But, yes. I'll keep pushing myself.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

I agree


With this type of stuff it usually works to "Agree & Amplify". Example: "You have huge ears."
"I know, I can actually pick up local radio station frequencies on a windy day."


You wouldnt drive back drunk anyways so its no big deal if she doesnt put out. If she doesnt go to the airbnb with you just be like "No problem. Let me know if you change your mind".

If she goes with you to the airbnb but gives you LMR (Last Minute Resistance), well, there are many things you can try. Just google something like "best strategies when a girl gives you last minute resistance" ; thepowermoves has a whole page about it.


Careful. If there isnt a good reason she isnt available on Sundays, maybe this girl has low interest.

Thanks for the advice about tests . You may not be completely wrong about what you said about the girl with low interest, but we’ll see.
I didn’t reply to her messages yesterday because I was focused on this other girl. Today I texted her on WhatsApp. She opened the chat and then closed it lol. I know because the first two messages I sent, replying to what she had sent me yesterday, got the blue check marks. Then I asked if she wanted to meet on Friday or Saturday, and those messages weren’t read. I sent them at the same time.

My guess is that she didn’t want to make it too obvious that one of the first things she did was open my chat. But we’ll see. I’m not sending her anything else unless she agrees to the date or suggests another day.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

For the sake of keeping things understandable, I’m going to start giving these girls numbers.

1: The girl I have to travel pretty far to see. Things escalated slowly with her, but we recently made out.
2: The hot girl a mutual friend wanted me to meet.
3: The girl who’s been reacting to all my WhatsApp stories after I brought her back to my place, ran into LMR, and then basically ignored her afterward. I never asked her out again, although I’ve replied to her messages occasionally.
4: The woman from my training whom I asked out. She seemed low-interest, so I just left it there. Too much potential drama for a girl I see almost every week. I’ve made my intentions clear, so the ball is in her court.

Now I’m introducing girl 5. She recently joined the training we do for work, the same one girl 4 attends. Cute girl.

I broke the ice with her today because she walked past me to open a refrigerator with some Cokes inside. We made eye contact, she went to grab one, and I said, “Hey, do you mind grabbing me one?” She said, “No problem, which one?” and I replied, “That one, please.” She handed me the Coke, and when I turned around, my male friend was laughing his ass off because he thinks I’m going to start gaming her. Which, of course, I probably will, but this was just an innocuous way to break the ice. I got possessed by the DJ spirit I swear, I didn't even think of what to say, those words just came out on their own because she is hot.

When training ended, she walked past that refrigerator again, which is behind where I sit. I stood up, looked her in the eyes, and said with a smile, “Goodbye, vet.” (We’re veterinarians.) She smiled and said goodbye too.

If she shows up again next time, I’ll start chatting with her a little more, and if she seems fun, I’ll ask her out.
-------------
As for girl 3, I was texting with her yesterday. She literally said, “I’m free whenever you can come to my place,” so I’m seeing her this Wednesday after work. I steered the text to a sexual tone, not like completely evident, but the tension and playfulness was there.

We’ll see what happens. It’s been about a month since I last saw her, but I’ll just have to escalate naturally and be bold about what I want. She already knows I’m sexually interested in her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For the sake of keeping things understandable, I’m going to start giving these girls numbers.

1: The girl I have to travel pretty far to see. Things escalated slowly with her, but we recently made out.
2: The hot girl a mutual friend wanted me to meet.
3: The girl who’s been reacting to all my WhatsApp stories after I brought her back to my place, ran into LMR, and then basically ignored her afterward. I never asked her out again, although I’ve replied to her messages occasionally.
4: The woman from my training whom I asked out. She seemed low-interest, so I just left it there. Too much potential drama for a girl I see almost every week. I’ve made my intentions clear, so the ball is in her court.

Now I’m introducing girl 5. She recently joined the training we do for work, the same one girl 4 attends. Cute girl.

I broke the ice with her today because she walked past me to open a refrigerator with some Cokes inside. We made eye contact, she went to grab one, and I said, “Hey, do you mind grabbing me one?” She said, “No problem, which one?” and I replied, “That one, please.” She handed me the Coke, and when I turned around, my male friend was laughing his ass off because he thinks I’m going to start gaming her. Which, of course, I probably will, but this was just an innocuous way to break the ice. I got possessed by the DJ spirit I swear, I didn't even think of what to say, those words just came out on their own because she is hot.

When training ended, she walked past that refrigerator again, which is behind where I sit. I stood up, looked her in the eyes, and said with a smile, “Goodbye, vet.” (We’re veterinarians.) She smiled and said goodbye too.

If she shows up again next time, I’ll start chatting with her a little more, and if she seems fun, I’ll ask her out.
-------------
As for girl 3, I was texting with her yesterday. She literally said, “I’m free whenever you can come to my place,” so I’m seeing her this Wednesday after work. I steered the text to a sexual tone, not like completely evident, but the tension and playfulness was there.

We’ll see what happens. It’s been about a month since I last saw her, but I’ll just have to escalate naturally and be bold about what I want. She already knows I’m sexually interested in her.

She invited you to her house directly. Anything less than banging her brains out is an L on your part and don't try to convince yourself otherwise.

This is step up or step out time for you.

 

[Rainman4707]

Well, I guess this is the best time for me to start doing this.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been reading The Book of Pook, and I'm almost finished with it. Somewhere along the way, something clicked in my mind. I reached a point where I felt enough was enough. I needed to stop overthinking, embrace my sexuality, embrace my masculinity, and start approaching women.

In fact, I was even thinking about making a bet with a female friend of mine (a long-distance friend): if I didn't approach any women, I'd have to send her money.

The Book of Pook really opened my eyes. It helped me throw away a lot of the pickup material from PUAs that I had consumed over the years. That stuff always made me feel robotic, overly calculated, and obsessed with playing it safe because, deep down, I believed I wasn't enough, and I needed some magic tactic.

This book shifted something inside me. It made me realize that if I'm already doing my best (working hard, staying healthy, exercising, pursuing hobbies, reading, studying, and trying to be a virtuous person) then I shouldn't keep acting as if something is missing. I should simply approach.

Perfect is boring.

So I'm happy to begin this journal with a field report that ended in a number close.

This happened today.

I took my dog out for a walk around the time I knew people would be outside. Lately I've been making an effort to become more social in general. I was also hoping to see a girl (jogging girl) I'd noticed the day before.

Sure enough, she was there.

The problem was that she was jogging with her headphones on. It didn't feel right to interrupt someone who's focused on finishing her workout, so I kept walking. My plan was to wait until she finished jogging and took her headphones off before deciding whether to approach.

After a while, another girl caught my attention. She was walking three dogs.

I figured this was a great opportunity to socialize, have fun, and, if the jogging girl happened to notice, it would naturally create some social proof. Win-win.

Approaching was easy because my Chihuahua did about 50% of the work. The dogs immediately started sniffing each other, and my mind went blank for a second.

What the hell do I even say?

Watching my dog confidently walk up to other dogs reminded me how natural approaching is for animals. Why shouldn't it be natural for me? I also remembered one of Pook's recurring ideas "Oh la la."

So I stopped trying to control everything.

I started talking about the dogs, but something felt different this time. I felt genuinely confident. It was almost like I told myself:

"**** it. I'll let my testosterone do its job. I'll stop trying to script every sentence and just trust myself."

It honestly felt like switching on autopilot.

By this point, the jogging girl had finished and was walking nearby. I'm pretty sure she saw me having a great conversation with the girl and her three dogs.

Funny enough, after a while I completely forgot about the jogging girl.

Time flew by.

I'd say she did about 80% of the talking while I led the conversation by asking questions, teasing her here and there, and simply enjoying myself. At one point she started playing with her hair. I moved a little closer and asked a few questions about what she does for fun and her life, partly to figure out whether she had a boyfriend or was married. The girl might have got bitten by an ant I think, and never said goodbye.

She even started making playful future projections about us hanging out.

Eventually I knew I had to go for the number.

I'm not going to lie, I felt nervous.

Then I caught myself.

"Scared of what? Having the balls to show you're attracted to her? Getting rejected? Are you really going to go home feeling like a *****?"

So I went for it.

Before that we'd already exchanged names. Then I said:

"You know what? I think it'd be fun to hang out sometime. When are you free?"

She smiled and told me she was free this weekend and didn't have any plans.

So I pulled out my phone and said:

"Perfect. What's your number so we can set something up?"

She walked over next to me and dictated her number. Since she didn't have her phone with her, I gave her a quick call so she'd have mine. We said goodbye, and I headed home.

A few minutes after I got home, she called me back. I answered, joked that now we both had each other's numbers, and we said goodbye again. I also sent her a quick text with a sticker of my dog.

Looking back, I honestly couldn't even tell you all the topics we talked about.

Time just disappeared.

What I do remember is that I spoke slowly, maintained eye contact, smiled often, and felt completely comfortable in my own skin.

That, more than getting the number itself, feels like the biggest win.

This reads like one of the Double your dating newsletters from the early 00's. Bravo my man and good for you!

 

[Rainman4707]

Conclusion: With girl one, I think the main issue was probably a rapport and escalation problem. You went from meeting her while she was walking her dogs to setting up a date at an arcade bar. This isn't necessarily wrong, but the level of investment may have been higher than the comfort built between you two. More rapport through lighter interactions or a lower-pressure first meet could have made the escalation feel more natural.

Have to disagree with this. It's not as though he is taking her to a three course candlelit dinner.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Have to disagree with this. It's not as though he is taking her to a three course candlelit dinner.

I guess.

My point was more about how quickly things went from a cold-ish approach → number exchange → texting → scheduled date without much in-person connection in between. I think the escalation may have moved faster than the rapport he had built, and the activity itself, in this case the arcade bar, matters less than how well they know each other at that point.

Either way, there's not enough evidence to say that's why she flaked. It could just as easily have been bad planning or low interest.

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Lay Report with woman 3 incoming later. Thanks Pook, Anti-Dump, Doctor Europeo, BackIntheGame, Clockwerk, Venom, Sega, BeExcellent, BPH; and everyone who has given me advice and taken the time to know my story.

Good night.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I guess.

My point was more about how quickly things went from a cold-ish approach → number exchange → texting → scheduled date without much in-person connection in between.

I think the escalation may have moved faster than the rapport he had built, and the activity itself, in this case the arcade bar, matters less than how well they know each other at that point.

Either way, there's not enough evidence to say that's why she flaked. It could just as easily have been bad planning or low interest.

This is bullshiit.

Women don't flake on guys, of whom they have high interest towards.

It is simple; OP is dealing with a lot of women who don't view him as high interest.

If he was, then we wouldn't be having these kinds of discussions with him.