"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I've realized that I have a problem, but I don't know what it is....

sharpshooter

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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I think the fact that I grew up spoiled but without affection is really hurting me overall. I'm a great looking guy (egotisical as **** as you can tell), built, confident, funny, and usually very positive. I've built myself up to where i'm pretty comfortable with women (complete turn around from where I was).

Grew up in a home where everything was handed to me. Material objects were always greater than love. My family showed me love through buying me things. Grandparents were "mom" and "dad" since my parents split. My uncles and aunts were like guardians as well. So I was really well taken care of, maybe too much. The ODD thing about this is that I can't remember hugging anyone from my famiy or even mentioning the word "love"

The combination of growing up spoiled and not having any real affection is like a black hole deep inside of me. Sometimes I come off as extremely cold (if i'm trying to be funny) even when i'm trying to be the opposite. It's ironic though, because i'm NOT a logical type of guy. I'm a really emotion driven/adrenaline type of person. I say what I feel, do what I feel. I don't know if anyone here can relate to what i'm trying to say. It's probably coming off as really complicated. I'm a caring guy deep down, but hugging and touching is just odd as hell to me. I always feel awkward when hugging a friend, even though I don't show it. When I see people hugging or holdings hands, I wonder how it would be. I Just wanna know if there's anyone here that knows what i'm talking about. I'm not a loner or anything like that, have tons of friends and close ones. However, I can never fully open up with them and just tell them about how I feel (about what i'm saying in this post right now). None of my friends would ever even expect me to be feeling this way, you know what I mean?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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tristan22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2001
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My parent's showed me an immense amount of love and i always had the best (everything paid for college, clothes, food, car, etc). Yet the rest of my family (my sister included) treated my parents and i very badly. They took great pride in our shortcomings and failures and frowned upon our success. Although i had great loving parents, i can't rationally get over my hatred towards my other relatives.

Although my life and upbringing was quite different from yours, my rationalization is quite similar to yours. I feel my upbringing has created a lot of shortcomings in my life.

Interesting!
 

Grey Fox

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2003
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Find beauty in your life, not the women. But things like music, literature, nature. Stop and take time to appreciate the littlest of triumphs, good luck and good twists of irony and you'll find yourself a little fuller each day.

-Grey Fox
 

Engetsu

Senior Don Juan
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Sep 3, 2002
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Age
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Location
Montreal
Sorry to hear what's happening. I feel I can come off as cold when I'm trying to be funny sometimes. A way to fix that is to say it while laughing or to laugh after, even though it is said to never laugh at your own jokes..... sometimes it helps.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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