"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I've realized that I have a problem, but I don't know what it is....

sharpshooter

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
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I think the fact that I grew up spoiled but without affection is really hurting me overall. I'm a great looking guy (egotisical as **** as you can tell), built, confident, funny, and usually very positive. I've built myself up to where i'm pretty comfortable with women (complete turn around from where I was).

Grew up in a home where everything was handed to me. Material objects were always greater than love. My family showed me love through buying me things. Grandparents were "mom" and "dad" since my parents split. My uncles and aunts were like guardians as well. So I was really well taken care of, maybe too much. The ODD thing about this is that I can't remember hugging anyone from my famiy or even mentioning the word "love"

The combination of growing up spoiled and not having any real affection is like a black hole deep inside of me. Sometimes I come off as extremely cold (if i'm trying to be funny) even when i'm trying to be the opposite. It's ironic though, because i'm NOT a logical type of guy. I'm a really emotion driven/adrenaline type of person. I say what I feel, do what I feel. I don't know if anyone here can relate to what i'm trying to say. It's probably coming off as really complicated. I'm a caring guy deep down, but hugging and touching is just odd as hell to me. I always feel awkward when hugging a friend, even though I don't show it. When I see people hugging or holdings hands, I wonder how it would be. I Just wanna know if there's anyone here that knows what i'm talking about. I'm not a loner or anything like that, have tons of friends and close ones. However, I can never fully open up with them and just tell them about how I feel (about what i'm saying in this post right now). None of my friends would ever even expect me to be feeling this way, you know what I mean?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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tristan22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2001
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My parent's showed me an immense amount of love and i always had the best (everything paid for college, clothes, food, car, etc). Yet the rest of my family (my sister included) treated my parents and i very badly. They took great pride in our shortcomings and failures and frowned upon our success. Although i had great loving parents, i can't rationally get over my hatred towards my other relatives.

Although my life and upbringing was quite different from yours, my rationalization is quite similar to yours. I feel my upbringing has created a lot of shortcomings in my life.

Interesting!
 

Grey Fox

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2003
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Find beauty in your life, not the women. But things like music, literature, nature. Stop and take time to appreciate the littlest of triumphs, good luck and good twists of irony and you'll find yourself a little fuller each day.

-Grey Fox
 

Engetsu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2002
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Age
40
Location
Montreal
Sorry to hear what's happening. I feel I can come off as cold when I'm trying to be funny sometimes. A way to fix that is to say it while laughing or to laugh after, even though it is said to never laugh at your own jokes..... sometimes it helps.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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