sharpshooter
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 278
- Reaction score
- 4
I think the fact that I grew up spoiled but without affection is really hurting me overall. I'm a great looking guy (egotisical as **** as you can tell), built, confident, funny, and usually very positive. I've built myself up to where i'm pretty comfortable with women (complete turn around from where I was).
Grew up in a home where everything was handed to me. Material objects were always greater than love. My family showed me love through buying me things. Grandparents were "mom" and "dad" since my parents split. My uncles and aunts were like guardians as well. So I was really well taken care of, maybe too much. The ODD thing about this is that I can't remember hugging anyone from my famiy or even mentioning the word "love"
The combination of growing up spoiled and not having any real affection is like a black hole deep inside of me. Sometimes I come off as extremely cold (if i'm trying to be funny) even when i'm trying to be the opposite. It's ironic though, because i'm NOT a logical type of guy. I'm a really emotion driven/adrenaline type of person. I say what I feel, do what I feel. I don't know if anyone here can relate to what i'm trying to say. It's probably coming off as really complicated. I'm a caring guy deep down, but hugging and touching is just odd as hell to me. I always feel awkward when hugging a friend, even though I don't show it. When I see people hugging or holdings hands, I wonder how it would be. I Just wanna know if there's anyone here that knows what i'm talking about. I'm not a loner or anything like that, have tons of friends and close ones. However, I can never fully open up with them and just tell them about how I feel (about what i'm saying in this post right now). None of my friends would ever even expect me to be feeling this way, you know what I mean?
Grew up in a home where everything was handed to me. Material objects were always greater than love. My family showed me love through buying me things. Grandparents were "mom" and "dad" since my parents split. My uncles and aunts were like guardians as well. So I was really well taken care of, maybe too much. The ODD thing about this is that I can't remember hugging anyone from my famiy or even mentioning the word "love"
The combination of growing up spoiled and not having any real affection is like a black hole deep inside of me. Sometimes I come off as extremely cold (if i'm trying to be funny) even when i'm trying to be the opposite. It's ironic though, because i'm NOT a logical type of guy. I'm a really emotion driven/adrenaline type of person. I say what I feel, do what I feel. I don't know if anyone here can relate to what i'm trying to say. It's probably coming off as really complicated. I'm a caring guy deep down, but hugging and touching is just odd as hell to me. I always feel awkward when hugging a friend, even though I don't show it. When I see people hugging or holdings hands, I wonder how it would be. I Just wanna know if there's anyone here that knows what i'm talking about. I'm not a loner or anything like that, have tons of friends and close ones. However, I can never fully open up with them and just tell them about how I feel (about what i'm saying in this post right now). None of my friends would ever even expect me to be feeling this way, you know what I mean?