"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I've lost myself.

K

Keeper

Master Don Juan
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I don't know what my problem is, otherwise, I'd search for a few strings and find a good few posts to solve it. So I'll settle on telling yawl how I feel.

I've lost my last GF just when I though I had something good going - because all I wanted was the physical side of the relationship. I saw her as a sex-object. I fear the same thing is happening with my current girl. Sure, over phone it's easy talking to her - but when we're together, all I want to do is fvck her. I'm not driven by it, not at all. I turn down her meetings and invitations when I want to, etc. And whenever I do meet up with her, I promise I'll have a nice, chatty evening. Well, that never comes true. I never know what to say - I just do all sorts of tests and MAVEC crap to get her hyped - then I go for it.

But... I don't want that anymore. I feel like a part of me is dying because I don't let my sides show. Or even, because I don't know how to use those sides.

Any thoughts?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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K

Keeper

Master Don Juan
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It's not the women, I'm sure... it's ME!

On being yourself: Heh, what's that like? I've changed so much since starting this new way of life, that I don't know what 'me' is. I just know what 'me' wants to be. But not sure how to acheive it. My goal now is to be more... human. Though I don't think anyone made a post about that. Nor can I find the answer myself - possibly because I don't know where to look. :-/
 
Desdinova

Desdinova

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Sure, over phone it's easy talking to her - but when we're together, all I want to do is fvck her.
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I know what you're talking about. This is called the "fvck" stage in a relationship. It happens to pretty much everybody who gets involved in a LTR. Shouldn't be anything to really worry about.

What you might want to do is actually take your gf out on a few dates instead of having your entire "date" naked and in bed. Remember, you can always fvck her after the date and she won't feel like a sexual object.

Conversation will begin to wear really thin if all you do is talk. You're gonna have to fill that void somehow either with sex, or a fun action date.

Trust me, there's nothing wrong with you. I've gone through it, and I'm sure many others here have gone through it.
 
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