"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I've lost myself.

K

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I don't know what my problem is, otherwise, I'd search for a few strings and find a good few posts to solve it. So I'll settle on telling yawl how I feel.

I've lost my last GF just when I though I had something good going - because all I wanted was the physical side of the relationship. I saw her as a sex-object. I fear the same thing is happening with my current girl. Sure, over phone it's easy talking to her - but when we're together, all I want to do is fvck her. I'm not driven by it, not at all. I turn down her meetings and invitations when I want to, etc. And whenever I do meet up with her, I promise I'll have a nice, chatty evening. Well, that never comes true. I never know what to say - I just do all sorts of tests and MAVEC crap to get her hyped - then I go for it.

But... I don't want that anymore. I feel like a part of me is dying because I don't let my sides show. Or even, because I don't know how to use those sides.

Any thoughts?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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K

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It's not the women, I'm sure... it's ME!

On being yourself: Heh, what's that like? I've changed so much since starting this new way of life, that I don't know what 'me' is. I just know what 'me' wants to be. But not sure how to acheive it. My goal now is to be more... human. Though I don't think anyone made a post about that. Nor can I find the answer myself - possibly because I don't know where to look. :-/
 
Desdinova

Desdinova

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Sure, over phone it's easy talking to her - but when we're together, all I want to do is fvck her.
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I know what you're talking about. This is called the "fvck" stage in a relationship. It happens to pretty much everybody who gets involved in a LTR. Shouldn't be anything to really worry about.

What you might want to do is actually take your gf out on a few dates instead of having your entire "date" naked and in bed. Remember, you can always fvck her after the date and she won't feel like a sexual object.

Conversation will begin to wear really thin if all you do is talk. You're gonna have to fill that void somehow either with sex, or a fun action date.

Trust me, there's nothing wrong with you. I've gone through it, and I'm sure many others here have gone through it.
 
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