jnMissouri
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2014
- Messages
- 793
- Reaction score
- 322
Kiss of death? I'll post a follow up, there's a reason I'm asking.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Did nothing and received this.Info omitted, if you text her first and she replied with this is different from doing nothing and receiving this.
Isn't this a kiss of death most of the time though?You have to assume only positive things, you did your job the best you could, you are the man. She chose to compliment you. If you didn't reply that's good. You just proceed the way you usually operate from now on, because you have nothing to loose. Now it's too late to respond, proper response would have been it's was nice meeting you as well. No smiles. How long you wait until your next move? Do that.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
In all fairness, maybe he doesn’t want to bias the posters by revealing the outcome first. Maybe he wants to know what we think is the general rule on that before he tells us the specific outcome.Is this another 13 year old situation where you already know the outcome and will post it in a bit, after everyone has given you their opinions?
No, usually an indicator of high ILKiss of death? I'll post a follow up, there's a reason I'm asking.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
No, usually an indicator of high IL
Thats because its near impossible to have all the information to make a truly informed decision. We arent there hearing what you hear, watching her body language, seeing her response to things you do, etc...That's what I felt gut level too and read online. Guess what, some of the advice on here is bad. She meant it and we are having dinner friday.
I've noticed the advice on the forum to he hit or miss. Lots of people misread situations or make assumptions.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dirty mind dirty mind lolSounds very illegal...
Nope. That was it. I've just noticed a lot of guys here assume a lot and don't even read all the relevant information provided in most cases.The problem isn’t bad advice. The problem is that these things can go either way and people are forced to “read the tea leaves” on situations they are not directly involved in.
I’ve gotten texts like that with opposite outcomes. Some mean it and want to see you again. Some are just being nice but aren’t interested.
The tell tale is not the text. It’s the change in the dynamic of communicatiin compared to before.
For example, if her IL is high before the date, she initiated a lot, always responds when you respond, good mornings, good nights, the actual date seems to go ok, you got that kiss close, get that “nice to meet you” text after it...and then all of the sudden she isn’t initiating anymore...kiss of death.
Can you actually share with everyone what else was in that text, or how she actually continued communicating with you after it, just like she did before it?. I would bet you’re holding some of that back just to prove a point.
I agree no one should be so adamant, particularly when it comes to dissecting personal circumstances of strangers over the internet.
That said, this event happened 13 years ago. 13 years ago this wasn’t such a bad response from a woman after a date. But today a lot of women are using this as a soft or polite rejection. A lot of guys here probably responded thinking this just happened to you.
Have you gotten one of these “nice to meet you” texts very recently? You might find a completely different outcome than you did 13 years ago... so all the same, don’t assume just because they are wrong about something that happened way back then means you’re right about something like that if it happens now.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.