Is this salvageable?

[TonyTenner]

Hi
I'm a 37 year old Irish guy living in Dublin.

So I met this girl in February on Tinder. We went on a date straight away, which as it happened was on the day of the first covid 19 case in Ireland.

This girl is an extraordinary beauty. 5'10 blonde and has done some modeling. We got on well on the date and I had her laughing a lot. Then Ireland entered a soft coronavirus lockdown. We both live in shared houses so there was no chance of her staying over because my housemates would be pissed off, what with all the self-isolating.

It made it difficult to meet but we did a few more times. There tended to be little physical interaction but good banter, and at the end of the dates we'd kiss.

I then moved out of Dublin as Ireland went into a full-on lockdown. We're not supposed to go 2km from home but where I moved there are no cops so there's a lot more freedom. It made it tricky to meet the girl. We ended up doing a lot of video calls and I twice went up at weekends to see her. Same deal - we'd no privacy so would walk in the parks trying to avoid cops, laugh, and kiss at the end (I realise this lack of physical interaction was a fatal mistake).

She was very keen and sent me a message about 2 weeks ago saying "I've been thinking of you". I went up last weekend and it was the usual - walks and little physical interaction. Towards the end she said "All we do is walk and chat and kiss at the end. I should be feeling more by now." It really threw me. I met her one more time, this time making sure to touch her from the start. We've always been brutally honest with each other so I asked her "can you imagine having sex with me?" and she said "last week I could, but now I can't".

I asked her if she wanted to meet me again and she said "I want to want to meet you". I told her we can leave it so. But she didn't want that either. So we agreed to cut all contact and meet up again in 2 months when this lockdown is over and I'm back in Dublin.

The next day she messaged me with a link to an advert she thought I'd be interested in saying "sorry for breaking the no-contact rule". We've had a couple of jokey messages since.

As I said, this girl is an extraordinary beauty. One of those girl who has been told her whole life how gorgeous she is. Put on a pedestal. She's 33, very confident, chilled out and very independent. She kind of relaxes and watches and waits to be impressed. One thing she has said to me multiple times is "I want an alpha male". I asked what she means by that and she said "someone who takes what they want". She also said she doesn't like guys that are too nice or yes-men.

I haven't been on forums like these in years. I wouldn't consider myself an alpha male but I am confident. I used to never get women then in my mid 20's I started having success. I read Models by Mark Manson and that changed things for me. Models was so brilliant and impactful. I forgot all the PUA techniques and lived by his mantra of total honesty and showing vulnerability. It got me far with this girl. But the door has been suddenly slammed in my face. And that's when I remembered these forums! On a side-note, I was blown away the PUA community is basically dead, apart from this site. What the hell happened!?

I'm down but I don't think I'm quite out. I text her yesterday a joke about how I'm good with my hands (I'm from a farm and mend things) and wondered would she ever find out. She said "I wonder that too...". However, she very suddenly went from really liking me to saying she cant imagine having sex with me.

I'm not sure where to go from here, it hangs by a thread. I wont be back full-time in her city for 2 months. I am however going there at the weekend to pick up some stuff so I may ask to meet her.

Can this be rescued, and if so, how? And should I meet her next weekend?

 

[cola]

You don’t need me to tell you what you already know. You made NO moves, not even an attempt to have sex with her. They want you to attempt to have sex with them. No matter what they say, they want you to make a move.
Especially at 33. Her maternal clock is ticking, she is in permanent heat.
What she is saying is she wants you to bang not take her on boring walks in the park.

@37 you need to learn to be more aggressive. You play it too safe.

 

[NSX-R]

I legit stopped reading when he said if she can imagine both of them having sex .

Do people still saying this in 21st century? Dude how can you go into so many dates and not bang . If you ain’t banging by the 5th date then she should be nexted.
A 37 yo dude should be more experienced

 

[skinnyguy]

Don’t have oneitis over this girl. If she’s that hot and still single, there is a reason for that. Find out what it is.

I don’t think you have to be mega alpha to lay this chick. You just have to be direct.

To answer your question, it’s salvageable but only if you go NC until the lockdown is over. Better yet, meet other women while you’re at it so you aren’t always thinking about her. As long as she thinks that you are obsessed with her and she’s the best option, you have no power.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

We've always been brutally honest with each other so I asked her "can you imagine having sex with me?" and she said "last week I could, but now I can't".

if you were actually confident you wouldn't EVER say something like this. it screams that you need some kind of validation to make a move. i physically cringed when i read it. she's already meeting up with you and letting you lead, but she's invariably turned off and bored by your lack of leadership. she wants to want you because she likes your looks and maybe your wit or something, but she's repelled by your utter lack to take a chance and go for the kill.

be willing to risk it all on losing her and take the bet, that's what women love.

trust in your actions because you accept the risks, not because it's safe or certain.

be bold or be forgotten. if you're going to talk her into one more meet then play with her and tease her with your words, eyes, and hands. get her worked up and throw her off balance until she's panting waiting for you to bend her over in an alley. if you're not up for that then she's out of your league.

and to be fair if you know exactly what you want out of a woman and are willing to turn women away until you find those things then it's not a leadership or confidence problem, it's simply incompatibility. but if that was the case you wouldn't be making this thread.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There are literally NO excuses for you not to have escalated. I mean sneak her into the bathroom for God's sake and put your hand over her mouth if you have to....she would have fvcking LOVED it.

Stop messaging her for now and see if she chases. If not then shoot her a message when you are ready to meet up and escalate properly.

 

[TonyTenner]

Dude she wanted your **** in her.... i am a bit sympathetic but you have to act on your testosterone.
Girls dont want to be in non sexual relationships bro.

By the way my fckn dream come true would be to visit your country. One day dream of irish pubs and music! Someday i hope. Dam your so lucky

They've shut the pubs here and God knows when they'll open. Most probably never will. Ireland has gone for hardcore lockdown insanity.

 

[TonyTenner]

I legit stopped reading when he said if she can imagine both of them having sex .

Do people still saying this in 21st century? Dude how can you go into so many dates and not bang . If you ain’t banging by the 5th date then she should be nexted.
A 37 yo dude should be more experienced

This hasn't happened since I was about 21! We literally have nowhere to do it. All hotels are shut and we both lived in shared houses with no visitors allowed (Ireland has gone completely INSANE with covid 19). I suggested the car and she said "I'm not 21"

 

[TonyTenner]

You don’t need me to tell you what you already know. You made NO moves, not even an attempt to have sex with her. They want you to attempt to have sex with them. No matter what they say, they want you to make a move.
Especially at 33. Her maternal clock is ticking, she is in permanent heat.
What she is saying is she wants you to bang not take her on boring walks in the park.

@37 you need to learn to be more aggressive. You play it too safe.

Yeah but as I pointed out, there's literally nowhere we can do it, that's been the problem. And she's interpreted this as me not bing interested in having sex with her.

 

[TonyTenner]

if you were actually confident you wouldn't EVER say something like this. it screams that you need some kind of validation to make a move. i physically cringed when i read it. she's already meeting up with you and letting you lead, but she's invariably turned off and bored by your lack of leadership. she wants to want you because she likes your looks and maybe your wit or something, but she's repelled by your utter lack to take a chance and go for the kill.

be willing to risk it all on losing her and take the bet, that's what women love.

trust in your actions because you accept the risks, not because it's safe or certain.

be bold or be forgotten. if you're going to talk her into one more meet then play with her and tease her with your words, eyes, and hands. get her worked up and throw her off balance until she's panting waiting for you to bend her over in an alley. if you're not up for that then she's out of your league.

and to be fair if you know exactly what you want out of a woman and are willing to turn women away until you find those things then it's not a leadership or confidence problem, it's simply incompatibility. but if that was the case you wouldn't be making this thread.

Good advice, this is an option.

 

[TonyTenner]

Don’t have oneitis over this girl. If she’s that hot and still single, there is a reason for that. Find out what it is.

I don’t think you have to be mega alpha to lay this chick. You just have to be direct.

To answer your question, it’s salvageable but only if you go NC until the lockdown is over. Better yet, meet other women while you’re at it so you aren’t always thinking about her. As long as she thinks that you are obsessed with her and she’s the best option, you have no power.

What is NC?

 

[TonyTenner]

if you were actually confident you wouldn't EVER say something like this. it screams that you need some kind of validation to make a move. i physically cringed when i read it. she's already meeting up with you and letting you lead, but she's invariably turned off and bored by your lack of leadership. she wants to want you because she likes your looks and maybe your wit or something, but she's repelled by your utter lack to take a chance and go for the kill.

be willing to risk it all on losing her and take the bet, that's what women love.

trust in your actions because you accept the risks, not because it's safe or certain.

be bold or be forgotten. if you're going to talk her into one more meet then play with her and tease her with your words, eyes, and hands. get her worked up and throw her off balance until she's panting waiting for you to bend her over in an alley. if you're not up for that then she's out of your league.

and to be fair if you know exactly what you want out of a woman and are willing to turn women away until you find those things then it's not a leadership or confidence problem, it's simply incompatibility. but if that was the case you wouldn't be making this thread.

I know we're not compatible. The least I want out of this is to **** her, I've put too much work in not to. I think I'd be happy with that because I don't see myself with her long term. I would like to get her chasing me again though, which she was doing at the start. Your super aggressive strategy is the way to go. Im up for it, I've done it before.

Now to figure where and how to **** during this insane lockdown.

 

[TonyTenner]

These forums are great, full of sage advice. I'm absolutely amazed the PUA movement is basically dead, these methods still apply today.

 

[Scars]

As pretty much everyone else has already mentioned.. you failed to act while the iron was still hot, and she lost interest.

Remember..

It's ALWAYS better to make a move and get rejected than be the guy who is too pvssy to make a move.

I hope you learned your lesson.

 

[TonyTenner]

As pretty much everyone else has already mentioned.. you failed to act while the iron was still hot, and she lost interest.

Remember..

It's ALWAYS better to make a move and get rejected than be the guy who is too pvssy to make a move.

I hope you learned your lesson.

Agreed and I have, but there were mitigating factors here - we're living in a police state in Ireland, there's literally nowhere to go to have sex if you dont have your own place. I think I have one final shot.

 

[TonyTenner]

Don’t have oneitis over this girl. If she’s that hot and still single, there is a reason for that. Find out what it is.

I don’t think you have to be mega alpha to lay this chick. You just have to be direct.

To answer your question, it’s salvageable but only if you go NC until the lockdown is over. Better yet, meet other women while you’re at it so you aren’t always thinking about her. As long as she thinks that you are obsessed with her and she’s the best option, you have no power.

Good point about her being hot and single and a reason for it. She's probably not the sharpest tool in the shed, that's a reason.

Im not sure what NC means but I think it means go quiet and dont text her until after the lockdown. That's an option alright. The other option is meet her next Sunday and go super-aggressive. But cos we're in a police state there's nowhere to have sex.

The bets option may be a combo of both: meet her Sunday, go super aggressive and if that leads to sex in the car then great. Then, go quiet for the next 2 months until lockdown finishes.

 

[Atom Smasher]

NC means “No Contact”. Pickup is dead but this site has survived because it recognizes that success with women is icing on the cake of self-improvement and building a masculine inner core.

For future reference (as it may be too late in this case), if there really is no way to get physical, then the thing to do is to ignite her imagination. You can whisper what you would do to her if only there was an opportunity. You can tell her you have some “thoughts” about that, but in a teasing way say that you’re not sure she would be “able to take it”.

That would have caused her to experience being with you in her imagination and would set up the phenomenon of anticipation, which is a drug for women.

The leveraging of anticipation is an art that few men understand. Women speak the language of subtlety and hints. You can leverage that by stimulating her imagination.

 

[AttackFormation]

Nowhere to have sex now that it's almost summer?! Dude, take her out into nature and fvck her in a grove/clearing. Dryfvck her against a tree in some secluded piece of a park or wood, and since she's tall it'll be easier to transition to pulling her panties down and getting inside her too if you do that. Take her to a restroom or a car parking building or anywhere. All of those things I just mentioned I mention out of experience, including having done them over the winter in the indoor cases. And don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you or where she wants to have it, just take her to these places or take her to your car and be aggressive.

I can feel this woman's pain at your bumbling nature. She's been wanting you to be sexually indecent and aggressive since the start (as usual), and on top of that she has given you MANY chances and even tried to verbally tell you what she wants and that her pvssy is drying up about as overtly as a woman can express it.

I don't want this to sound like a chorus of harping on you, but you really need a mindset change for your own and these womens' sake, and being somewhat harsh is what I think you need to understand that. Jesus man! Oh my god. I think you have another chance because she seems to have a really commendable patience, but jesus man, stop making excuses and being inhibited and just realize you're actually a man and take this woman like she is trying to ask you for!

 

[TonyTenner]

Nowhere to have sex now that it's almost summer?! Dude, take her out into nature and fvck her in a grove/clearing. Dryfvck her against a tree in some secluded piece of a park or wood, and since she's tall it'll be easier to transition to pulling her panties down and getting inside her too if you do that. Take her to a restroom or a car parking building or anywhere. All of those things I just mentioned I mention out of experience, including having done them over the winter in the indoor cases. And don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you or where she wants to have it, just take her to these places or take her to your car and be aggressive.

I can feel this woman's pain at your bumbling nature. She's been wanting you to be sexually indecent and aggressive since the start (as usual), and on top of that she has given you MANY chances and even tried to verbally tell you what she wants and that her pvssy is drying up about as overtly as a woman can express it.

I don't want this to sound like a chorus of harping on you, but you really need a mindset change for your own and these womens' sake, and being somewhat harsh is what I think you need to understand that. Jesus man! Oh my god. I think you have another chance because she seems to have a really commendable patience, but jesus man, stop making excuses and being inhibited and just realize you're actually a man and take this woman like she is trying to ask you for!

Haha you're absolutely spot on. I'll meet her next week and go for it, and **** it if it doesn't work. Just have to be careful and make sure she meets me. She may be reluctant now given my past wimpy behaviour. Any suggestions for angle I should go for with the texts? Im think short and direct "Im coming up next week, lets meet."

 

[RangerMIke]

Move to the US chicks here love Irish accents. Women would be all over you... but you will have to take action when they put themselves in front of you.