Is this dude a chump when it comes to relationships?

[Travel memoir21]

Okay he’s a great guy and an Afghanistan combat Veteran….but I just think he’s an idealist when it comes to relationships. What do you guys think? Here’s a quote from him when it came to a particular woman and here’s his meme about her.

‘I think one of the things that she used to get frustrated about is that I’d never initiate sex, even if I didn’t shy away from intimacy. I wanted her to know she was in complete control of that aspect of our relationship, because I wanted her to get a feel for her own agency and autonomy—her ability to make decisions and say yes or no. For me, it really wasn’t at all about the sex. It was because she made me feel alive again just by looking at me the way she did. Where everyone else held nothing but contempt in their eyes for me, hers were full of wonder. I could tell she really loved me.’

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Give me a fvcking break with this...

Tell that man to get his Testosterone level checked.

 

[Mike32ct]

Some nice guys “overcorrect.” It’s not uncommon.
Sometimes they have a father (or brother or other male figure) who was a player/bad boy type or possibly abusive. But what the nice guy “sees” is a hyper sexual sleazy bastard to women. And the nice guy unconsciously or consciously decides “I’m never gonna be like him. I’m going to respect women.” And, despite good intentions, the nice guy takes it so far that he forgets that women have a sexual side too.

 

[The Duke]

This is a guy who doesn't understand women very well. A woman wants to feel desired. Its a basic need. A man initiating sex makes her feel valued and desired. She will think something is wrong with her when you don't. It's also why they like men who take the lead. Its what healthy masculine men do.

Feminine women don't want to make all the decisions, they don't want autonomy.

Women are turned on by men who go after what they want. Its pretty much universal.

@Travel memoir21 your approach towards dating is similar. You see these girls as someone you want to talk to and approach slowly with out any sexual desire towards them. They will detect this quickly and see you as weak and put you in the friend zone if you ever get that far.

 

[Travel memoir21]

This is a guy who doesn't understand women very well. A woman wants to feel desired. Its a basic need. A man initiating sex makes her feel valued and desired. She will think something is wrong with her when you don't. It's also why they like men who take the lead. Its what healthy masculine men do.

Feminine women don't want to make all the decisions, they don't want autonomy.

Women are turned on by men who go after what they want. Its pretty much universal.

@Travel memoir21 your approach towards dating is similar. You see these girls as someone you want to talk to and approach slowly with out any sexual desire towards them. They will detect this quickly and see you as weak and put you in the friend zone if you ever get that far.

lol…so you’re saying you can’t be a good Christian man and be confident, suave and manly at the same time? I highly disagree.

 

[The Duke]

lol…so you’re saying you can’t be a good Christian man and be confident, suave and manly at the same time? I highly disagree.

Nope. But You use it as an excuse. I do have a few stories about wholesome Christian girls that read the bible every day.

 

[Bigpapa]

Okay he’s a great guy and an Afghanistan combat Veteran….but I just think he’s an idealist when it comes to relationships. What do you guys think? Here’s a quote from him when it came to a particular woman and here’s his meme about her.

‘I think one of the things that she used to get frustrated about is that I’d never initiate sex, even if I didn’t shy away from intimacy. I wanted her to know she was in complete control of that aspect of our relationship, because I wanted her to get a feel for her own agency and autonomy—her ability to make decisions and say yes or no. For me, it really wasn’t at all about the sex. It was because she made me feel alive again just by looking at me the way she did. Where everyone else held nothing but contempt in their eyes for me, hers were full of wonder. I could tell she really loved me.’

View attachment 15923

that’s what happens when you put a woman on a pedestal

Really bad idea

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nope. But You use it as an excuse. I do have a few stories about wholesome Christian girls that read the bible every day.

Yeah me too...the preacher's daughter who did every nasty thing under the sun in the bedroom but acted like a wholesome good girl that was a virgin outside of it.

 

[BadBoy89]

He wasn't attracted to her and doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a mother.

When a guy is attracted to girl and lusts for her, he acts differently. 100% he will push for sex. When a guy acts like above? He wants someone to "take care" of him.

 

[Travel memoir21]

He wasn't attracted to her and doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a mother.

When a guy is attracted to girl and lusts for her, he acts differently. 100% he will push for sex. When a guy acts like above? He wants someone to "take care" of him.

He’s not on good terms with his mother

 

[plumber]

i get the idea of the post. and i get what that man in the story is thinking. its sad because he has the best intentions and so on.... he will learn the hard way that it does not work and the world and women do not behave as he thinks they do.

Game78 has the exact right idea. 99% chance man has a chemical issue in his body. she can not be attracted to him if he does not behave like a healthy man. how the man in the story thinks is wrong, the exact opposite is exactly right. very sad because he really believes and really wants to do the right thing. he just doesn't know what the right thing is.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Oh gosh! After I finished reading the overwhelming consensus was "What - total crock! What a COMPLETE crock!" My lady asked me if I was ok I said it so loud!

This guy not only has one-itis, he also pedestalizes her (as was pointed out before I got here), DENIES his impulses, it's bad! It's bad enough I question if he's straight. Ok love can be beautiful. Sure. OK, you can appreciate beauty without always wanting to eff what is beautiful. If you put a lady in front of me with leather pants or a skirt and she has curves, long flowing locks or curls, and she looks back at me with a smile or I see her walking toward me and I see a little 'swaying' I'm 1,000,000,000,000 (<Let's pretend that's a google) % UNASHAMED of my male tendency to not only swell in a certain spot, but will feel the urge to take her to pound town.

I concur completely with getting his T checked. Dude has gone NUTS. He's mental! Freakin completely cracked! I want to travel to the guy or write him a strong suggestion to go get his head examined! AAAHHH!!!!!

It's only a matter of time until her mind wanders or wonders what MEN are like. Not like this!!!! Shoot, even some of the most blue pilled, beta, s1mpish chump guys I know would think this is a total crock a doodle doo!

To answer something else that popped up, it IS entirely possible to abstain until marriage. Realistically and bluntly speaking, this will put you at an undeniable disadvantage. I'm not saying it's right, nor do I fail to understand the ideals behind such a lifestyle; but women by an overwhelming majority unless they are trolls or landwhales have already punched the V card even if you HIGHLY doubt it. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to find a virgin in a maternity ward than a church. And I strongly reenforce that I am in NO WAY saying this to disrespect anyone's religion.

It's my opinion that you should at least have some idea of broaching the subject to a point. You should at least be convinced of a few things before jumping blindly into bed after marriage and it's disappointing. It's even more of an insult if she HAS 'had some fun' and you take her at her word she hasn't, you haven't slept with anyone and then she isn't interested in it or weaponizes it. That's in my opinion, one of the tallest pillars of disrespect a woman can exhibit and no good relationship can exist that way. It's a fairly common dynamic though.

I know of very many successfully yoked and compatible Christians who have been together their whole lives. It's a great blueprint, but it's just that. *A* blueprint. Not every relationship / building will be like another. What works with one person won't work for all.