"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is this BPD?

thecreature

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So ex just emails me after month of NC. She says she cant be with me yada..she loves me etc Tells me to be happy (is she adding insult to injury). Also says Im the love of my life (another insult).

What a joke.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Contrails

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I don't think you can diagnose a person with BPD with just one action/statement. BPD=messed up personality due to messed up childhood. And this only surfaces when you've gotten to know the person intimately for a few months at least.
 

Driggs

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That is like something a person with BPD would do but is not in itself sufficient. Google BPD and read about it.
 

SemperDJ

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thecreature said:
So ex just emails me after month of NC. She says she cant be with me yada..she loves me etc Tells me to be happy (is she adding insult to injury). Also says Im the love of my life (another insult).

What a joke.
She's loss interest, most likely out doing another dude as we speak.
Most likely trying to regain some sympathy (closure) with a response from you. I'll say never reply back and let that eat her up slowly so she can sink deeper into the dark abyss forever wondering, well that's what I would do since I'm a sick minded young man.
That alone tho, I can't tell if she's BPD without more info.
 

Bible_Belt

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So serve that bvllsh!t right back to her.

OMG, that is exactly how I feel, too! Such epic sadness! Hard...to type...through all the tears....


If she has bpd, this will make her think she has you right where she wants you, so she'll leave you alone. If she does not have bpd, she will be put off and leave you alone. Either way it is a win.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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dutchmaster

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dont even answer it

let her stew
 
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