Is there anything wrong with seeing escorts?(long, personal story)

[bat soup]

Shortly before COVID hit last March I had decided to hire an escort to have time with. Now, to clarify this would be considered a higher tier one, meaning more money, that also goes to socials, parties, etc. and wasn't just some cracked out meth head that basically stays at a hotel having one guy after another.

Anyway, this was something that I had considered going through with for a while, as for a very long time I was having issues with my dating life. Through 2017, 2018, and 2019 I was just having nothing but horrendous experiences with women (dating, approaches, numbers,etc.). I was getting women to approach me or ask me out, just to get flaked on. I was getting no results with dating apps or sites. I was forcing myself to approach women that I often felt little to no attraction to, as "practice", and they would just awkwardly stare at me. This was getting to the point where I felt my mental health was starting to legitimately suffer and I noticed I was feeling tons of anger and anxiety. I've already posted this a million times on here but the repetitive thoughts going on in my mind were "I'm 6'4", go to the gym regularly blah blah blah and yet I can't even land a date with a 3?". I was at a stage where I was considering just full blown giving up, as the quality of my overall mental health and well being was not worth compromising. However, during this time I had also started posting on this forum, which made me realize that the issues I had were far more prevalent throughout men of the general population than I had realized at the time.

February of 2020 I had contacted this escort that I had found through tons of research and searching online. We texted back and forth a lot and I explained what I was looking for, etc. We met at a local coffee shop for half and hour, it was part of her screening process and it allowed me to see if it would be a good fit for me or if I'd bail. She actually came across as very normal and interacting with her was much more enjoyable than all of these women I had been approaching despite the fact I wasn't even attracted to half of them. A couple weeks later we met at an incall location that she hosted, it was a small guest house that was in a neighborhood near the downtown area of my city, lots of apartment complex around, etc. Without getting into details, I basically just spent time talking with her, making out and I had a sexual finish. After that I had considered going back for more but I refrained from doing so, as while I did enjoy it I also was aware that this was not a habit to develop. I do remember afterwards that I felt a surge of confidence and that I was approaching women pretty readily afterwards and seemed to have better interactions, but shortly COVID hit and everything was closed down.

Since COVID hit I've had next to no interactions with the opposite sex and I feel that I need to have a confidence booster. For a couple months I was considering meeting up again with this same woman but I hesitated until more recently where I decided to follow through with it and scheduled something later this week. Can something like this be of benefit or is this potentially a bad habit that could develop that could stunt me in some ways in regards to dating? I have the power to be able to call this off and it's something that I've been debating internally, weighing the pros and cons, etc.

I also have behaviors related to experiencing emotions in regards to getting hooked on different things, though I have enough awareness to be able to cut them off early. I really enjoy poker and have experienced and resisted the feelings of enjoying this thrill regularly, though every so often I allow myself to go to the casino to play in tournaments. I also have had similar experiences with partying, investments, etc.

To me it sounds like you didn't get much bang for the buck. If you want to pay money just to talk, most regular women can provide that.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with paying for something you want, but first you have to actually know what you want. Getting emotionally involved with someone that doesn't really care about you is always going to be a mistake.

 

[Mike32ct]

Hookers are best suited to guys that don’t think twice about it afterwards.

If you regret it, question it or don’t feel 100% comfortable about it, it’s probably not for you.

I personally don’t recommend it. But for guys that can and do view it as nothing more than ordering a pizza, so be it.

 

[corrector]

To me it sounds like you didn't get much bang for the buck. If you want to pay money just to talk, most regular women can provide that.

If you can find one that would give you the time of day. Regular women can ghost, block you, or just disappear.

 

[bat soup]

If you can find one that would give you the time of day. Regular women can ghost, block you, or just disappear.

There are always plenty of women willing to flap their gums and enjoy a free meal.

 

[corrector]

There are always plenty of women willing to flap their gums and enjoy a free meal.

Where?

 

[bat soup]

Where?

Everywhere. If you can't find one check behind your couch, in the garden shed behind the lawnmower etc.

 

[corrector]

Shortly before COVID hit last March I had decided to hire an escort to have time with. Now, to clarify this would be considered a higher tier one, meaning more money, that also goes to socials, parties, etc. and wasn't just some cracked out meth head that basically stays at a hotel having one guy after another.

Anyway, this was something that I had considered going through with for a while, as for a very long time I was having issues with my dating life. Through 2017, 2018, and 2019 I was just having nothing but horrendous experiences with women (dating, approaches, numbers,etc.). I was getting women to approach me or ask me out, just to get flaked on. I was getting no results with dating apps or sites. I was forcing myself to approach women that I often felt little to no attraction to, as "practice", and they would just awkwardly stare at me. This was getting to the point where I felt my mental health was starting to legitimately suffer and I noticed I was feeling tons of anger and anxiety. I've already posted this a million times on here but the repetitive thoughts going on in my mind were "I'm 6'4", go to the gym regularly blah blah blah and yet I can't even land a date with a 3?". I was at a stage where I was considering just full blown giving up, as the quality of my overall mental health and well being was not worth compromising. However, during this time I had also started posting on this forum, which made me realize that the issues I had were far more prevalent throughout men of the general population than I had realized at the time.

February of 2020 I had contacted this escort that I had found through tons of research and searching online. We texted back and forth a lot and I explained what I was looking for, etc. We met at a local coffee shop for half and hour, it was part of her screening process and it allowed me to see if it would be a good fit for me or if I'd bail. She actually came across as very normal and interacting with her was much more enjoyable than all of these women I had been approaching despite the fact I wasn't even attracted to half of them. A couple weeks later we met at an incall location that she hosted, it was a small guest house that was in a neighborhood near the downtown area of my city, lots of apartment complex around, etc. Without getting into details, I basically just spent time talking with her, making out and I had a sexual finish. After that I had considered going back for more but I refrained from doing so, as while I did enjoy it I also was aware that this was not a habit to develop. I do remember afterwards that I felt a surge of confidence and that I was approaching women pretty readily afterwards and seemed to have better interactions, but shortly COVID hit and everything was closed down.

Since COVID hit I've had next to no interactions with the opposite sex and I feel that I need to have a confidence booster. For a couple months I was considering meeting up again with this same woman but I hesitated until more recently where I decided to follow through with it and scheduled something later this week. Can something like this be of benefit or is this potentially a bad habit that could develop that could stunt me in some ways in regards to dating? I have the power to be able to call this off and it's something that I've been debating internally, weighing the pros and cons, etc.

I also have behaviors related to experiencing emotions in regards to getting hooked on different things, though I have enough awareness to be able to cut them off early. I really enjoy poker and have experienced and resisted the feelings of enjoying this thrill regularly, though every so often I allow myself to go to the casino to play in tournaments. I also have had similar experiences with partying, investments, etc.

So now you are remembering dates. February 2020. Like mine is December 2014. You always call her February 2020 lile 10 years from now like me.

 

[rationalmale]

I have my spiritual and moral standings with regards escorts, but the main reason I will not advise them as 'confidence boosters' like some have commented is because of the transactional sex concept.

You'd be slowly brainwashed to believe you cannot be successful with women without sparing some cash, even when you do not have. It also places a man in an endless loop of picking instead of being picked. To the OP, your choice of an escort seems like escapism and appears to be rooted in a lack of confidence. Many men, if not all have struggled with that, I think you should work on fixing that. Banging escorts may give temporary relief until those worries come again.

 

[sangheilios]

@LiveYourDream

This is a long post of yours that I am replying to so I'll do my best to respond to it in a manner that isn't too elaborate.

I'm not really afraid of rejection but instead of I am afraid of humiliation, being lead on, toyed with, manipulated, etc.

I've already mentioned that I had very unique life circumstances growing up and that it socially stunted me through high school. I went to a local community college when I was 19, 2009, and there was a girl who was in one of my classes that I developed a crush on but I had no idea how to act upon it. At the end of the semester I finally got the nerve to approach and I was unbelievably awkward and embarrassed myself. Anyway, without getting into details the experience followed me for a while because I was endlessly made fun of over it, not to my face but I heard people talk about me within earshot. I essentially allowed these people to bully me into going back into my shell and focusing inward, becoming socially reclusive again. Shortly after this I went to a 4 year university in my state for a year and I had a lot of women in my classes who were very attracted to me but because of the social patterns I had developed I auto rejected out of fear of not wanting to be humiliated.

When I was 22 going on 23, late 2012/early 2013 I had something that happened to me that nearly killed me and my life was totally altered from that point on, I won't get into details and if I did it would take pages to explain. I spent 2013 and 2015 essentially living an existence of a total social recluse. I started getting myself back together in 2016 and my social life began to expand in 2017.

It was during these particular times that I had a lot of really bad social experiences, some of which I blame myself but I also feel that many were just bad luck. There were a few times at the gym I was at that I did some approaches and had 2 that even to this day are confusing and weird to me. One I had approached and the next time she saw me she asked me out but then flaked on our date and ghosted me, long story short she was an attention ***** who did this to tons of men. I had another one I approached who constantly made eye contact, it was an awkward experience but I asked her out and she said she had a bf, she didn't, so I got up and told her it was nice to meet her and left. This one went out of her way to approach and flirt with me, so naturally a couple months later I asked her out again only to get rejected.

I could elaborate on tons of examples but those are my biggest concerns in regards to interacting with women that I am attracted to. I've had a lot of experiences in the past with getting rejected for being inexperienced. For instance, when I was 24 going on 25 I told a woman I was talking to that I was inexperienced and she said I'd have to have some experience before she got involved with me. A while ago I had gone on a few dates with this woman that was about a decade older than me and I told her I didn't know how to kiss and it freaked her out and she never spoke to me again. I've had a few other experiences that played out similar, since then I've had some experiences but only a handful, though enough to be able to make it work. I realize I could have lied about things like this but I never really felt comfortable pretending to be something I wasn't just for the sake of trying to get a sexual notch on my bed post.

In regards to other fears......it's kind of hard for me to say but I feel one that I definitely have is a severe fear of failure, not having things work out and not succeeding. Outside of that I don't have any particular phobias.

 

[Epicwinguy]

For some of us guys, success is so far away and we just want to ****. I got a long way to go before I succeed in the way I want, and I am almost 30. I am not even sure I can get the girls I am into (typically younger than 30) when I will hopefully be more established. Right now I am signing up for classes at community college for accounting and preparing to be VERY busy in life, but before classes start I am going to bang a few hookers. Some of us MASSIVELY struggle to get "game, son" or even a social flow. Best bet for us is to make good money as an older man.

 

[Visionist]

Oh absolutely.

Harbour no illusions; when you're 75 and still horny (and you should be if you've cultivated your health), no amount of game is gonna get you into a 20 year old's bra straps. Unless you're a superstar celebrity or fabulously wealthy.

What you should instead have is ample disposable income for those same 20 somethings who need a bit of extra cash. Gene Hackman said it best in Crimson Tide: "the best thing about college girls is that as you age, they always stay the same". Or I think he's the one who said it, haven't seen that film in 20 years. Anyway if you hop over to Ukpunting (Sosuave for Johns) you'll find the average age of members is well over 60, with many over 70 and some even over 80.

Still fvcking like champs. No game required. Is a DJ liable to "settle down" into a sexless marriage after 40? Sadly, he probably is. But he can still get laid.

 

[corrector]

I have my spiritual and moral standings with regards escorts, but the main reason I will not advise them as 'confidence boosters' like some have commented is because of the transactional sex concept.

You'd be slowly brainwashed to believe you cannot be successful with women without sparing some cash, even when you do not have. It also places a man in an endless loop of picking instead of being picked. To the OP, your choice of an escort seems like escapism and appears to be rooted in a lack of confidence. Many men, if not all have struggled with that, I think you should work on fixing that. Banging escorts may give temporary relief until those worries come again.

Most escorts dont ask what you do before they see you and some dont ask about your background. It seems that women are transactional because their first question is what you can do for them. Sometimes $80 and no questions asked other then when I am planning to show up sounds way nicer.

 

[Grinderman]

Let's see, all prostitutes who are trading sex for money are ALL without exception mentally not well in the head at all. The majority who are selling themselves for cash are drug addicts. All drug addicts (yes ALL DRUG ADDICTS) are fvcking degenerate scum who are part of / connected to the criminal underworld. There are those prostitutes who will say they are doing it to feed their kids.....yeah her life has been just one bad, irresponsible, immature, neurotic choice after another. When everyone she relied on to pay her way through life died or melted away from her the lazy, child-like retrobate still cannot bring herself to get or hold down an actual job. Degenerate, bad mother, scummy person.

this is the world you are choosing to step into and be a part of.

Then let's take into account those that are involved in human trafficking and child prostitution. These are held against their will and sold and rented to greasy, serpents who are slaves to their out of control desires. Never free.

this is the world you are choosing to step into and be a part of.

the underworld. the denizens of hell. Rim the azzholes of the dead and sleep in thier graves.

A man who is not in control of his desires is not free. He is a slave.

....sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

 

[corrector]

Let's see, all prostitutes who are trading sex for money are ALL without exception mentally not well in the head at all. The majority who are selling themselves for cash are drug addicts. All drug addicts (yes ALL DRUG ADDICTS) are fvcking degenerate scum who are part of / connected to the criminal underworld. There are those prostitutes who will say they are doing it to feed their kids.....yeah her life has been just one bad, irresponsible, immature, neurotic choice after another. When everyone she relied on to pay her way through life died or melted away from her the lazy, child-like retrobate still cannot bring herself to get or hold down an actual job. Degenerate, bad mother, scummy person.

this is the world you are choosing to step into and be a part of.

Then let's take into account those that are involved in human trafficking and child prostitution. These are held against their will and sold and rented to greasy, serpents who are slaves to their out of control desires. Never free.

this is the world you are choosing to step into and be a part of.

the underworld. the denizens of hell. Rim the azzholes of the dead and sleep in thier graves.

A man who is not in control of his desires is not free. He is a slave.

....sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

There is a supernatural demonic component which is why I am unable to visit one. I value my sanity right now, even if I'm at a low point. I rather be sane and at a low point then lose my mind completely. These demons can cause crippling anxiety and panic attacks and stalk you from their place to your home and then zap you the next morning and give you a nervous breakdown so you are dysfunctional for a month or even more. You are trying to put a face to a spiritual conspiracy. I just primarily blame it on evil spirits. That way humans are not as culpable, the spirits are to blame because they are masterminding that, including the circumstances that can lure me into wanting to see one. (ie referred to as "luring" spirits). The Bible says we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the spirits. So judging people doesn't make sense if it's demons to blame.

For example, a prostitute may have caught a demon by being molested by her parents or uncle. She didn't choose to be that way, but that door-way of trauma lead to a path that could involve drugs, and whatever else you are saying. She's making bad choices because she's heavily influenced by a demon she got through the molestation. Another demon can be zapping thoughts in my head saying, God doesn't care about me getting a gf, I'll never get a woman, so go visit a prostitute, etc.... and then you get a crash.

 

[Epicwinguy]

There is a supernatural demonic component which is why I am unable to visit one. I value my sanity right now, even if I'm at a low point. I rather be sane and at a low point then lose my mind completely. These demons can cause crippling anxiety and panic attacks and stalk you from their place to your home and then zap you the next morning and give you a nervous breakdown so you are dysfunctional for a month or even more. You are trying to put a face to a spiritual conspiracy. I just primarily blame it on evil spirits. That way humans are not as culpable, the spirits are to blame because they are masterminding that, including the circumstances that can lure me into wanting to see one. (ie referred to as "luring" spirits). The Bible says we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the spirits. So judging people doesn't make sense if it's demons to blame.

For example, a prostitute may have caught a demon by being molested by her parents or uncle. She didn't choose to be that way, but that door-way of trauma lead to a path that could involve drugs, and whatever else you are saying. She's making bad choices because she's heavily influenced by a demon she got through the molestation. Another demon can be zapping thoughts in my head saying, God doesn't care about me getting a gf, I'll never get a woman, so go visit a prostitute, etc.... and then you get a crash.

Maybe you should stay away from this website. Pretty sure there is a lot of demons here.

 

[deBrito]

What does make-out means in this context? Do you guys tongue kiss a prostitute? Isn't there a law that says "you shall not suck prostitute tits and kiss them"?

 

[Grinderman]

What does make-out means in this context? Do you guys tongue kiss a prostitute? Isn't there a law that says "you shall not suck prostitute tits and kiss them"?

Some men rim prostitutes. Bet you wish you could go back to the time when you didn't know this...

 

[deBrito]

Some men rim prostitutes. Bet you wish you could go back to the time when you didn't know this...

Fvck.

 

[Bigpapa]

What does make-out means in this context? Do you guys tongue kiss a prostitute? Isn't there a law that says "you shall not suck prostitute tits and kiss them"?

what is wrong with kissing the tits of a prostitute , especially if they are nice

 

[deBrito]

what is wrong with kissing the tits of a prostitute , especially if they are nice

Physically? Nothing. Psychologically? The fact that boobs are the shooting target of cvm. And this target in particular has been shot a lot.