Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Is the friendzone always bad

Dam44

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
448
Reaction score
127
Thank you
OP, it's easy. Just don't focus solely on her. The more women you talk to, the less caught up with one you will be. Not to say you won't find some you like more than others, but having options alleviates a lot of that.

Trust me, I've met girls who just weren't feeling it for me at the time, but I was always spinning plates so it wasn't such a big deal. Some come around, some don't. Forget all the "friend" stuff, it's BS, just a thing a woman says in the moment. Just relax your focus, there's a whole world of women out there. You can keep the door open for her. The other thing you can do is assess where you can improve to reduce the chances of it happening again.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
This isn't her fault.

Biggest mistake that guys make:

Failure to ask for the date.
You can get friendzoned whether you ask for a date or not. I’ve been on 5 dates with a girl and gotten friendzoned, I’ve never asked for a date and gotten friendzoned. You really can’t stop it from happening to you, you can be as aggressive as can be or you can be as reserved as it gets and she’s going to friendzone you if she wants to. It’s just a thing immature women do because they don’t know how to reject a man properly.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,193
Reaction score
2,490
Age
124
You can get friendzoned whether you ask for a date or not. I’ve been on 5 dates with a girl and gotten friendzoned, I’ve never asked for a date and gotten friendzoned. You really can’t stop it from happening to you, you can be as aggressive as can be or you can be as reserved as it gets and she’s going to friendzone you if she wants to. It’s just a thing immature women do because they don’t know how to reject a man properly.
I think that you were not sexual enough with the girl and not pushing for sex

5 dates and being friendzoned it is quite unusual .

but maybe you did not anything wrong with her , and she just liked your attention and nothing else

you have to be frank with yourself and check throughly if you did any mistake to at least learn from them and not repeat them in the future
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
I think that you were not sexual enough with the girl and not pushing for sex

5 dates and being friendzoned it is quite unusual .

but maybe you did not anything wrong with her , and she just liked your attention and nothing else

you have to be frank with yourself and check throughly if you did any mistake to at least learn from them and not repeat them in the future
Well she was just coming out of a year long relationship when I met her. I couldn’t have been more sexual than I was without sexually harassing the girl. I aggressively kissed her and tried to escalate from there, nothing. I would grab her ass. Nothing. You know the old saying “a girl that wants to fvck you will find a way”? Well she was not finding a way with me. I found it odd too that she went on 5 dates with me before friendzoning me. And she legit wanted to be friends I guess because she kept contacting me. Maybe it was for ego boost and attention, I dunno.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,193
Reaction score
2,490
Age
124
Well she was just coming out of a year long relationship when I met her. I couldn’t have been more sexual than I was without sexually harassing the girl. I aggressively kissed her and tried to escalate from there, nothing. I would grab her ass. Nothing. You know the old saying “a girl that wants to fvck you will find a way”? Well she was not finding a way with me. I found it odd too that she went on 5 dates with me before friendzoning me. And she legit wanted to be friends I guess because she kept contacting me. Maybe it was for ego boost and attention, I dunno.
I think the problem is that you were way too persistent despite her not putting it to you , and after the 5th date she backward rationalized that she did not sleep with you because she is not attracted to you so she put you in the friendzone

the more it takes to sleep with a girl , the more you are sucked in into her frame

I have a rule , if after maximum maximum 4 dates I do not sleep with a girl , it means that it is super unlikely that I will sleep with her , and drop her from my reportoir and focus on other girls
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,867
Reaction score
902
Location
The United State of Texas
This is why she tried to friend zone you. You are husband material. Women don’t have fun sex with boyfriend/husband material.
He's right on this. Women have this thing where they put men in different categories. And once you're in one,it's damn near impossible to get out.

A few years ago,I dated this chick. We were "dating"....as in seeing each other. Somehow,the subject of threesomes came up (I think it was something she'd done in her past),and I mentioned something about us having a threesome,and she damn near went nuclear. She went,"No....I would NEVER have a threesome with you. Threesomes are for when you're not serious about the guy".

It was weird,but I got what she was saying. She was saying if she was just fooling around with someone and there was no future in it,then she'd do a threesome,but if she likes the guy,wants the relationship to last,and wants them to be together,she wouldn't. Made sense,actually.

Reminds me of that line Jean Grey gave to Wolverine in X-Men 2: http://quotegeek.com/quotes-from-movies/x2/6732/

Your persona and mindset is doing this.
Yep. If you go to "this girl".......she tries to friendzone you........."that girl".....she tries to friendzone you.....this girl over here,friendzone...that girl over there,friendzone......it's not a coincidence. It's not happening by chance.

It's cause you're taking friendzone inducing behavior with you from girl to girl to girl.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,193
Reaction score
2,490
Age
124
He's right on this. Women have this thing where they put men in different categories. And once you're in one,it's damn near impossible to get out.

A few years ago,I dated this chick. We were "dating"....as in seeing each other. Somehow,the subject of threesomes came up (I think it was something she'd done in her past),and I mentioned something about us having a threesome,and she damn near went nuclear. She went,"No....I would NEVER have a threesome with you. Threesomes are for when you're not serious about the guy".

It was weird,but I got what she was saying. She was saying if she was just fooling around with someone and there was no future in it,then she'd do a threesome,but if she likes the guy,wants the relationship to last,and wants them to be together,she wouldn't. Made sense,actually.

Reminds me of that line Jean Grey gave to Wolverine in X-Men 2: http://quotegeek.com/quotes-from-movies/x2/6732/



Yep. If you go to "this girl".......she tries to friendzone you........."that girl".....she tries to friendzone you.....this girl over here,friendzone...that girl over there,friendzone......it's not a coincidence. It's not happening by chance.

It's cause you're taking friendzone inducing behavior with you from girl to girl to girl.
That is why it is important to have and keep a lover vibe , and then think based on the case if you want a ltr with her or not and only after that you start giving away bf vibes

otherwise you will not see her for who she truly is , plus you will miss a lot of good fun because she is more interested in looking innocent for you
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
He's right on this. Women have this thing where they put men in different categories. And once you're in one,it's damn near impossible to get out.

A few years ago,I dated this chick. We were "dating"....as in seeing each other. Somehow,the subject of threesomes came up (I think it was something she'd done in her past),and I mentioned something about us having a threesome,and she damn near went nuclear. She went,"No....I would NEVER have a threesome with you. Threesomes are for when you're not serious about the guy".

It was weird,but I got what she was saying. She was saying if she was just fooling around with someone and there was no future in it,then she'd do a threesome,but if she likes the guy,wants the relationship to last,and wants them to be together,she wouldn't. Made sense,actually.

Reminds me of that line Jean Grey gave to Wolverine in X-Men 2: http://quotegeek.com/quotes-from-movies/x2/6732/



Yep. If you go to "this girl".......she tries to friendzone you........."that girl".....she tries to friendzone you.....this girl over here,friendzone...that girl over there,friendzone......it's not a coincidence. It's not happening by chance.

It's cause you're taking friendzone inducing behavior with you from girl to girl to girl.
I’d have dumped her right then and there when she said that. She proves our point, she gets to have all her non-serious fun with Chad on the carousel but when you, Mr stable provider, comes along, it’s time for starfish sex and no fun. All that “past is the past, trying to find myself while taking it up the ass from Chad and his friends one drunken night” crapola. She just proved she’s not wife material even if she told you that you were husband material. No one wants to marry a slut.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,835
Age
49
I was constantly friend zoned when I was younger. Ended up marrying my college sweetheart which lasted 20 years.

During the 20 years I was married I encountered a number of women who I friendzoned because I wasn't available.

Upon the end of my marriage I saw their interest flicker and a few tried to make invitations and overtures to break out of the friendzone.

TBH at that point I didn't want a relationship with someone whose friendship I valued....and I didn't want to muddy the status quo.

I definitely think it is easier to become truly good friend with a woman who stimulates you sexually than vice versa. Reason being it is easier to be a little bit vulnerable with a stranger who you can never see again, than someone who is a part of your life. Backwards huh? Funny how being sexual is more of a vulnerability than being emotionally supportive. Why is that?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
I have moved on. Thanks for sharing
Damn mate, get to the level of game where you pull SNL and on your walk back to the car, you are opening sets and hitting on new baeeee. Most fellas get a W and they think it's time to urinate from the seater position. If anything, more ruthless with your time. Comply or bye. Spam approach. Volume. #next #nextsets

Metric for interest level is based on compliance. I am literally begging for a reason to go get more girls. **** her into a coma just to excuse yourself to approach more. My D won't suck itself. Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
I’d have dumped her right then and there when she said that. She proves our point, she gets to have all her non-serious fun with Chad on the carousel but when you, Mr stable provider, comes along, it’s time for starfish sex and no fun. All that “past is the past, trying to find myself while taking it up the ass from Chad and his friends one drunken night” crapola. She just proved she’s not wife material even if she told you that you were husband material. No one wants to marry a slut.
And yet, fellas are still playing house or on YouTube beating chest to red pill. Not top form smv 18-23. It's post wall CC woman nearly 30 or older. Personally, I don't believe there's wife material, that is, a woman who is worth betting the house on. I can go to Vegas and bet on red. A W offers more ROI. Again, if you or any man plays house, hot and young FTW. Not when the milks gone bad.
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,867
Reaction score
902
Location
The United State of Texas
I’d have dumped her right then and there when she said that. She proves our point, she gets to have all her non-serious fun with Chad on the carousel but when you, Mr stable provider, comes along, it’s time for starfish sex and no fun. All that “past is the past, trying to find myself while taking it up the ass from Chad and his friends one drunken night” crapola. She just proved she’s not wife material even if she told you that you were husband material. No one wants to marry a slut.
I hear you. I understand what you mean,but at the time...when she first said it,I was kinda in "No Man's Land" with my reaction. Like,I didn't know whether to be offended,or take it as a compliment.

At first, I thought the same thing you said...about how random,nobody guys were getting all the wild,crazy sex,but she wouldn't do any of that with me because she wanted something "serious" with me. So I did feel like she was withholding something from me that she just freely gave out to guys she didn't care about.

Then on the other hand,she liked me and wanted to be with me. So there,I had something other guys didn't have.....her. Another thing was,when I asked her about 3somes....I was just joking,I wasn't serious. I'm not a "threesome" type guy. I mean yeah,it sounds good and all,but it's not really something I care about,or am interested in.


I'm basically like Jerry Seinfeld when it comes to 3somes......


 

Dam44

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
448
Reaction score
127
This is why she tried to friend zone you. You are husband material. Women don’t have fun sex with boyfriend/husband material.

Your persona and mindset is doing this. She is for sex. All women are for sex and children. That is their only purpose.
So is that a bad or good thing? How does one give the husband material vibes
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
So is that a bad or good thing? How does one give the husband material vibes
I guess giving off husband vibes is better than giving off vibes where she “family zones” you.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,993
Reaction score
4,490
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
So is that a bad or good thing? How does one give the husband material vibes
I'm not sure it's an actual "vibe."* It's more of a look.

The husband look is moderately attractive but a "clean cut" or "professional" look as opposed to a tatted up sexy bad boy sort of look.

*Even if such vibe does exist, you'll be judged by look first anyway so it's a moot point.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
I'm not sure it's an actual "vibe."* It's more of a look.

The husband look is moderately attractive but a "clean cut" or "professional" look as opposed to a tatted up sexy bad boy sort of look.

*Even if such vibe does exist, you'll be judged by look first anyway so it's a moot point.
Women love to throw around labels and once they’ve labeled you that’s it. That’s all you’re ever going to be to her. I’ve notice the really immature women are the ones that are quick to label guys.
 
Top