Is the friendzone always bad

[Bigpapa]

I'm confused. Are you saying I didn't make a move?

Besides talking with her and inviting her to what you perceive as a date , from what you wrote till now you were not a sexual guy

 

[Dam44]

Besides talking with her and inviting her to what you perceive as a date , from what you wrote till now you were not a sexual guy

Wow, so what would you have done instead

 

[Bigpapa]

Don't you think it's possible to do everything right and still get friendzone?

In this case, how could I have been more sexual

From what you said till now I do not think that you played your cards right

usually when you are sexual towards a girl she either accepts it either will brake the report

you will have also moments when you do everything right and still the girl wants to put you in friend zone , but basically this happens because she is quite insecure and likes your attention . Mind you , she likes you but will try to get you more invested in her . This is how you get oneitis

 

[Bigpapa]

Wow, so what would you have done instead

sexual means that you say taboo things , or just talk about sexuality

 

[firstbornunicorn]

So, when I say make the first move, I mean ask you out on a date and be the first one to escalate things to a sexual level without you doing anything.

Usually I ask them out. The ones I'm not attracted to ask ME out more often. Usually they make the first physical move. I'm trying to find those who WON'T make the first physical move so I can remain dominant.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I'm confused. Are you saying I didn't make a move?

Women don’t work this way.

Typically, you can’t just ask a woman on a date and expect things to go smoothly.

I’m not saying you can’t get women this way, but why do what works 20% of the time when you can do what works 80% (or even 100%) of the time?

What’s the 80%? I always start out cold and get warmer later.

1) Be (only) friendly with her when on the phone and texting. Flirt by implying she’s into you, and your not sure whether you’re into her.

Tell her you’re not her bf, invite her to meet you and tell her if she starts acting weird you’ll leave. All the while you’re the one initiating everything.

2) It‘s not until you‘re with her one on one physically, that you begin the flirt more sexually and show more interest in her.

3) If you can get her into your house/flat/apartment alone, that’s when you get physical.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Usually I ask them out. The ones I'm not attracted to ask ME out more often. Usually they make the first physical move. I'm trying to find those who WON'T make the first physical move so I can remain dominant.

It’s always the uglier ones right?

Initiating is a masculine thing, women who behave masculine tend to look more masculine too and therefore not as attractive as feminine women. It’s also a sign of desperation too.

I still don’t believe women are actually asking you out on dates. I‘ve had women ask me out, but not on “dates” even though that’s what they want.

Women rarely ever come out and say something they attracted to you outright. At best they’ll get their friend to tell you, which is very childish.

If they’re attracted to you, they’ll make it easier for you to fvck them...but its very, very rare for them to literally drag you to their bedroom.

My point to OP, was don’t wait for her to make a move. It rarely happens, if ever, especially with the women you prefer. But at the same time, don’t come on too strong either.

 

[Suave88]

It always surprises me, when I hear other guys say things like “I told her to call me if she was interested“ or “I left the ball in her court” etc, etc.

How many guys reading this have had women make the first move in these situations? Seriously, I’d love to know.

The women in question is a Muslim, so there’s a good chance she may even be a virgin. Add to the fact that OP isn’t a Muslim...how do you expect her to make a move?

Women are rarely in a position where they have to be the one that’s forward, they get plenty of dates without having to do much, so why do some guys expect things to be different this time?

It always surprises me, when I hear other guys say things like “I told her to call me if she was interested“ or “I left the ball in her court” etc, etc.

How many guys reading this have had women make the first move in these situations? Seriously, I’d love to know.
NONE, and I have never told a woman that statement.

 

[Dam44]

Women don’t work this way.

Typically, you can’t just ask a woman on a date and expect things to go smoothly.

I’m not saying you can’t get women this way, but why do what works 20% of the time when you can do what works 80% (or even 100%) of the time?

What’s the 80%? I always start out cold and get warmer later.

1) Be (only) friendly with her when on the phone and texting. Flirt by implying she’s into you, and your not sure whether you’re into her.

Tell her you’re not her bf, invite her to meet you and tell her if she starts acting weird you’ll leave. All the while you’re the one initiating everything.

2) It‘s not until you‘re with her one on one physically, that you begin the flirt more sexually and show more interest in her.

3) If you can get her into your house/flat/apartment alone, that’s when you get physical.

This method looks nice actually

1. The 'I'm not your bf part', do you just say them randomly?

The invite is a date right?

I think the main thing I did was trying to do everything via text.

Do you think there's a remedy for my case? Like can this method still be applied?

 

[Robert28]

Some guys will tell you the friendzone is great and no big deal, blah blah blah. All I can tell you is it’s not for me. At all. I’ve tried it so I can at least say I’m speaking from experience, it left a horrible taste in my mouth. Platonic relationships are for cvcks and betas that can’t get other women. I have no use for a woman that doesn’t find me attractive and who eventually will fvck me. Like zero use.

 

[Robert28]

From what you said till now I do not think that you played your cards right

usually when you are sexual towards a girl she either accepts it either will brake the report

you will have also moments when you do everything right and still the girl wants to put you in friend zone , but basically this happens because she is quite insecure and likes your attention . Mind you , she likes you but will try to get you more invested in her . This is how you get oneitis

You make a great point with your last paragraph! That absolutely happened to me with a girl last year. I thought I’d done something wrong but what happened after I finally stepped away from her and met other women is I learned that it wasn’t me they got myself friendzoned, it was her being very insecure. I met 4 girls in a row and not one of them tried to friendzone me, and they were way better looking than this girl. So while I knew I had stuff I could improve upon, I knew it wasn’t my doing they got me friendzoned because it didn’t happen again. That same girl still tries to call and text me but I have zero interest, she needs to work on herself and her insecurities and whit with the highschool games.

 

[bat soup]

A female classmate in my school started texting me this lockdown and we got quite along.

But she's Muslim while I'm Christian so I had my reservations. But she seemed like she wanted something plus she's pretty so I'm like why not.

Made future date plans (schools are closed due to COVID) to which she responded yes , enthusiastically.

Then we started texting some other time. She then referred to me as twinnie(wtf, I think this is the first girl I have made my intentions clear straight from the start)
I told her no, then added a joke that if if we dated long enough we could be.

One thing led to another, she was trying so hard to friendzone me which I wasn't going to agree to. I told her I didn't want something platonic

I decided to ask her why she said no. She said the only reason was her religion and still tried to friendzone me after this. She asked if we would be friends, I ignored it and replied her other texts

I wasn't really hurt by this. I'm just curious as to why someone would try this hard to friendzone me.

Idk but I think she holds me in high esteem.

Anyways I left the ball in her court telling her to hit me up if she changed her mind and I stopped texting her.
She hit me up the next day but it was a pointless conversation and I didn't drag it out

Did I do anything wrong here?

PS: She once called me husband material and then proceeded to ask if I had a girlfriend stylishly to which I naively replied no. But that was a while before this

She's using her religion as an excuse. I know a lot of girls from this background and some of them do put out. Others don't, but they like to play stupid and innocent just to string guys along. But there is no way that I would accept friendship with a girl that basically discriminates against me.

 

[Dam44]

In my opinion, here's what you're doing wrong:

You're continually giving away your time and attention despite having never taken her on a date.

Text this right now:

"Will you meet me at (place) this (day) at (time)??"

Invite her to meet you within 72 hours.

Anything other than her replying "yes" or counteroffering a SPECIFIC day and time is grounds for dismissal, even if she cites COVID as the excuse for not meeting.

Thank you. I'm not currently in her location but I'll do this as soon as I am. Till then, I'll just let her be

 

[Dam44]

She's using her religion as an excuse. I know a lot of girls from this background and some of them do put out. Others don't, but they like to play stupid and innocent just to string guys along. But there is no way that I would accept friendship with a girl that basically discriminates against me.

wow, this is another perspective. Maybe that's what she's doing after all but she seems quite innocent

 

[bat soup]

Thank you. I'm not currently in her location but I'll do this as soon as I am. Till then, I'll just let her be

Covid is just another BS excuse as far as I'm concerned.

 

[bat soup]

wow, this is another perspective. Maybe that's what she's doing after all but she seems quite innocent

She's playing the "innocent little virgin". It's BS. If she was really that type she wouldn't even be talking to you.

 

[Dam44]

She's playing the "innocent little virgin". It's BS. If she was really that type she wouldn't even be talking to you.

Haha. She still initiated contact today. I posted a screenshot of a viral tweet of a guy lying to girl that he could play chess on my status. She started a conversation, she asked if I played it. I don't but she does

I said I played checkers instead, she asked how it was played and asked if I was going to teach her when school resumes

Lol, I don't even know what she wants

 

[Dam44]

She wants a friend

Now I know what she wants lol

 

[Bigpapa]

You make a great point with your last paragraph! That absolutely happened to me with a girl last year. I thought I’d done something wrong but what happened after I finally stepped away from her and met other women is I learned that it wasn’t me they got myself friendzoned, it was her being very insecure. I met 4 girls in a row and not one of them tried to friendzone me, and they were way better looking than this girl. So while I knew I had stuff I could improve upon, I knew it wasn’t my doing they got me friendzoned because it didn’t happen again. That same girl still tries to call and text me but I have zero interest, she needs to work on herself and her insecurities and whit with the highschool games.

usually when you get friendzoned it means that you did a lot of things wrong , but in some cases if a girl is super insecure will play the friends card so she buys more time to see if you like her more than an ons

but as a rule , I think that is best to look at what you did and learn from your mistakes

 

[samspade]

OP, it's easy. Just don't focus solely on her. The more women you talk to, the less caught up with one you will be. Not to say you won't find some you like more than others, but having options alleviates a lot of that.

Trust me, I've met girls who just weren't feeling it for me at the time, but I was always spinning plates so it wasn't such a big deal. Some come around, some don't. Forget all the "friend" stuff, it's BS, just a thing a woman says in the moment. Just relax your focus, there's a whole world of women out there. You can keep the door open for her. The other thing you can do is assess where you can improve to reduce the chances of it happening again.