"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is talking on the phone OK?

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Reed247

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I talk to my girlfriend for an hour on the phone sometimes, usually once a week. Sometimes twice.
Is this a relationship killer or a relationship builder?
I am very aware the talking to much is a turn off, like everyday. But do all calls have to be less then 15 minutes? Nobody ever really discusses phone etiquette with a girlfriend.
I would never do this with a f*ck buddy just a girlfriend type. I figure a relationship girl deserves more respect unlike a wh*re.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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duttylove

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use phone only to set up real life meetings, or a simple 10 minute catch up chat if youve not spoken in a while! unless she is you wife
 

BigFoot

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I think it really depends on the situation and your relationship. If you have a good relationship and you talk about things on the phone that you wouldn't normally be able to in person, it's not bad. But if you talk too much (for the particular relationship) and it becomes a substitute for getting together in person, don't do it.
 

Hellboy

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I explained to my current girl, in the early stages, that I'm not too keen on telephone conversations. I explained that this is because it strips a lot of the feeling out of the dialogue. There is no eye contact, no touching... it's so impersonal. I told her anything we want to discuss we should do it in person. She agreed and we spend maybe 5-10 minutes on the phone a week.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Qualtran

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Unless it is a long distance relationship (those suck), I see no reason to spend a lot of time on the phone with a girfriend. When I start dating girls, I immediately make it very clear that I'm into seeing eachother in person and not wasting time chatting on an impersonal phone. Why satisfy her urges to talk to her on the phone when you can do it in person?
 

Jariel

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If you both enjoy chatting on the phone, why should it be a problem? Just make sure you give each other enough space so you don't get taken for granted.
 
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