Is she scared to let me in or not interested?

[ShyGuy1998]

I work with this girl, and over the course of the past month we've been seeing each other a lot. She just moved into a new house and I've been there almost every day since. One day I got called into work and they didn't really need me so I went and sat with her we ended up going back to her house and started to hook up. She said she wasn't on birth control and since we didn't have protection we should wait. Also adding that waiting will just make it better because she actually likes me.
So two days later I went over to hang out with her again and the same things happens and we end up hooking up that night. After that whenever were at work we always sneak away and kiss and chat at some point throughout the night. She's started to do this thing though where she asks me to come over and then goes radio silent. It's not every time but it's happened more than once and one day we were supposed to go on a date and she tells me I should come over and drink that night. She ended up going silent for a while and by the time I got there she was sick drunk puking and I ended up just going home.

Another time more recently after work she tells me I should come over and drink with her. When I was on my way there she sends me a message that there's a girl (she's bi) that she used to talk to hanging out and that I shouldn't be too touchy in front of her because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings if she still had them for her she made it very clear it was platonic between them though. Later that night after everyone leaves we kiss a bit and joke around when she tells me she's on her period right now and I shouldn't stay the night she goes on to tell me that it's hard for her to let people in and she doesn't want to hurt me because I'm a good guy and she actually likes me but she's scared. She also mentioned her ex a bit about how he was controlling and she assured me he wasn't apart of her life anymore. So the next morning she apologized for sending me home saying that she was just mad because her roommate bailed on their plans the night before. When I get to work she's busy and acting very distant until the end when she pulls me outside and we kiss and make plans to meet up that night. When I get ahold of her later she just says she has a lot of anxiety and doesn't really feel like doing much but I should come over before my shift the next day and just "Netflix and cuddle". I agree to that and the next day when I hit her up she ignores it for an hour then sends me a snap saying they're going grocery shopping. By the time they get back I have to go into work but we talk for most of my shift and she tells me I should get ahold of her after I'm off and come by. She ends up ignoring me at the end of my shift and then goes mostly raido silent the next two days. I'm not sure if I should pull back or ask her about what's going on at this point.

 

[marmel75]

She is seeing how much of a puppet on a string you are right now. And I have to admit you are looking like a Marionette.

Keeps giving you hoops to jump through and you keep jumping them like a trained puppy dog.

 

[dude99]

I work with this girl, and over the course of the past month we've been seeing each other a lot. She just moved into a new house and I've been there almost every day since. One day I got called into work and they didn't really need me so I went and sat with her we ended up going back to her house and started to hook up. She said she wasn't on birth control and since we didn't have protection we should wait. Also adding that waiting will just make it better because she actually likes me.
So two days later I went over to hang out with her again and the same things happens and we end up hooking up that night. After that whenever were at work we always sneak away and kiss and chat at some point throughout the night. She's started to do this thing though where she asks me to come over and then goes radio silent. It's not every time but it's happened more than once and one day we were supposed to go on a date and she tells me I should come over and drink that night. She ended up going silent for a while and by the time I got there she was sick drunk puking and I ended up just going home.

Another time more recently after work she tells me I should come over and drink with her. When I was on my way there she sends me a message that there's a girl (she's bi) that she used to talk to hanging out and that I shouldn't be too touchy in front of her because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings if she still had them for her she made it very clear it was platonic between them though. Later that night after everyone leaves we kiss a bit and joke around when she tells me she's on her period right now and I shouldn't stay the night she goes on to tell me that it's hard for her to let people in and she doesn't want to hurt me because I'm a good guy and she actually likes me but she's scared. She also mentioned her ex a bit about how he was controlling and she assured me he wasn't apart of her life anymore. So the next morning she apologized for sending me home saying that she was just mad because her roommate bailed on their plans the night before. When I get to work she's busy and acting very distant until the end when she pulls me outside and we kiss and make plans to meet up that night. When I get ahold of her later she just says she has a lot of anxiety and doesn't really feel like doing much but I should come over before my shift the next day and just "Netflix and cuddle". I agree to that and the next day when I hit her up she ignores it for an hour then sends me a snap saying they're going grocery shopping. By the time they get back I have to go into work but we talk for most of my shift and she tells me I should get ahold of her after I'm off and come by. She ends up ignoring me at the end of my shift and then goes mostly raido silent the next two days. I'm not sure if I should pull back or ask her about what's going on at this point.

Stop playing her silly games. She is using you for entertainment. I would next her because she is going to yo yo you for months on end until you either get fed up and walk or go full beta and she pushes you away.


I would next. But that is me. If you want to soft next her i would not contact her until she reaches out. If she doesn't reach out then you have your answer.

 

[ShyGuy1998]

Stop playing her silly games. She is using you for entertainment. I would next her because she is going to yo yo you for months on end until you either get fed up and walk or go full beta and she pushes you away.


I would next. But that is me. If you want to soft next her i would not contact her until she reaches out. If she doesn't reach out then you have your answer.

Yeah that's what I was thinking about doing.. Sex is good though so I was going to try to just keep getting it. We work together a lot so it's probably going to just keep going pretty much status quo I'm just going to not put in as much effort and see where it goes.

 

[MrJack]

I work with this girl, and over the course of the past month we've been seeing each other a lot. She just moved into a new house and I've been there almost every day since. One day I got called into work and they didn't really need me so I went and sat with her we ended up going back to her house and started to hook up. She said she wasn't on birth control and since we didn't have protection we should wait. Also adding that waiting will just make it better because she actually likes me.
So two days later I went over to hang out with her again and the same things happens and we end up hooking up that night. After that whenever were at work we always sneak away and kiss and chat at some point throughout the night. She's started to do this thing though where she asks me to come over and then goes radio silent. It's not every time but it's happened more than once and one day we were supposed to go on a date and she tells me I should come over and drink that night. She ended up going silent for a while and by the time I got there she was sick drunk puking and I ended up just going home.

Another time more recently after work she tells me I should come over and drink with her. When I was on my way there she sends me a message that there's a girl (she's bi) that she used to talk to hanging out and that I shouldn't be too touchy in front of her because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings if she still had them for her she made it very clear it was platonic between them though. Later that night after everyone leaves we kiss a bit and joke around when she tells me she's on her period right now and I shouldn't stay the night she goes on to tell me that it's hard for her to let people in and she doesn't want to hurt me because I'm a good guy and she actually likes me but she's scared. She also mentioned her ex a bit about how he was controlling and she assured me he wasn't apart of her life anymore. So the next morning she apologized for sending me home saying that she was just mad because her roommate bailed on their plans the night before. When I get to work she's busy and acting very distant until the end when she pulls me outside and we kiss and make plans to meet up that night. When I get ahold of her later she just says she has a lot of anxiety and doesn't really feel like doing much but I should come over before my shift the next day and just "Netflix and cuddle". I agree to that and the next day when I hit her up she ignores it for an hour then sends me a snap saying they're going grocery shopping. By the time they get back I have to go into work but we talk for most of my shift and she tells me I should get ahold of her after I'm off and come by. She ends up ignoring me at the end of my shift and then goes mostly raido silent the next two days. I'm not sure if I should pull back or ask her about what's going on at this point.

Seems bipolar as f*ck to me. She's wants to hang.. she doesn't.. she wants to hang.. she doesn't...

And most times she can't even bother to let you know she doesn't want to anymore or cant.

Seems like she doesn't care much.

I agree with the soft nexting and just spin other plates, while occasionally hooking up with her.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Too much exposure, sounds like you see each other every day. Pull back a bit, and don't be so eager and willing to jump through hoops to get your dlck wet.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I work with this girl

Don't sh!t where you eat.

 

[sosousage]

continue talking with her (and anyone) at work but dont kiss her nor dont meet her. just dont turn into most quiet guy at work.

honestly it looks fun how shes doing you from readers perspective im not sure how can you not see it.

i dont think anything will work out of this relationship but if you in for sex then you should simply ignore her and never come to her house again. avoid any wasted time. in the end if shes thirsty she will come to yours

 

[AJ84]

I work with this girl, and over the course of the past month we've been seeing each other a lot. She just moved into a new house and I've been there almost every day since. One day I got called into work and they didn't really need me so I went and sat with her we ended up going back to her house and started to hook up. She said she wasn't on birth control and since we didn't have protection we should wait. Also adding that waiting will just make it better because she actually likes me.
So two days later I went over to hang out with her again and the same things happens and we end up hooking up that night. After that whenever were at work we always sneak away and kiss and chat at some point throughout the night. She's started to do this thing though where she asks me to come over and then goes radio silent. It's not every time but it's happened more than once and one day we were supposed to go on a date and she tells me I should come over and drink that night. She ended up going silent for a while and by the time I got there she was sick drunk puking and I ended up just going home.

Another time more recently after work she tells me I should come over and drink with her. When I was on my way there she sends me a message that there's a girl (she's bi) that she used to talk to hanging out and that I shouldn't be too touchy in front of her because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings if she still had them for her she made it very clear it was platonic between them though. Later that night after everyone leaves we kiss a bit and joke around when she tells me she's on her period right now and I shouldn't stay the night she goes on to tell me that it's hard for her to let people in and she doesn't want to hurt me because I'm a good guy and she actually likes me but she's scared. She also mentioned her ex a bit about how he was controlling and she assured me he wasn't apart of her life anymore. So the next morning she apologized for sending me home saying that she was just mad because her roommate bailed on their plans the night before. When I get to work she's busy and acting very distant until the end when she pulls me outside and we kiss and make plans to meet up that night. When I get ahold of her later she just says she has a lot of anxiety and doesn't really feel like doing much but I should come over before my shift the next day and just "Netflix and cuddle". I agree to that and the next day when I hit her up she ignores it for an hour then sends me a snap saying they're going grocery shopping. By the time they get back I have to go into work but we talk for most of my shift and she tells me I should get ahold of her after I'm off and come by. She ends up ignoring me at the end of my shift and then goes mostly raido silent the next two days. I'm not sure if I should pull back or ask her about what's going on at this point.

When you say she ignores you at work does she not say hello if you walk past her? Look away if you wave? You're at work right? Is she focused on work and that's why she's not interacting with you?

What's the longest she's gone without responding to a text? I don't think an hour constitutes as ignoring someone's texts though I get that people expect instant replies everytime they send a msg.

Just trying to better understand what you constitute as radio silence etc and how much is expectations on your part which may be making it seem like she's flakier than she is.

Not saying she's sending clear mags because she seems to be going back and forth which can be confusing but she did say she has trouble letting people in right? Maybe she's struggling with trying to be open and getting out of her comfort zone?

 

[dude99]

Yeah that's what I was thinking about doing.. Sex is good though so I was going to try to just keep getting it. We work together a lot so it's probably going to just keep going pretty much status quo I'm just going to not put in as much effort and see where it goes.

Put zero effort in. You can have sex with new women too

 

[AJ84]

Yeah that's what I was thinking about doing.. Sex is good though so I was going to try to just keep getting it. We work together a lot so it's probably going to just keep going pretty much status quo I'm just going to not put in as much effort and see where it goes.

Yeah just hang back a bit and see where it goes. I mean she is telling you why she is behaving the way she is behaving right? If the sex is good do you want to just next her because she isn't doing/acting/saying/texting the way you want her to?

Some guys are too quick to dump a girl the minute she does something human like send a mixed message. Or they say she's mentally ill. Shes not a silicone sex doll, she's a human being like you, so she will do stuff that's a bit confusing and probably frustrating at times, just like you probably do right? Decide what you can deal with in exchange for the positives of being with her and decide at what point it's just not worth it for you.

 

[ShyGuy1998]

Seems bipolar as f*ck to me. She's wants to hang.. she doesn't.. she wants to hang.. she doesn't...

And most times she can't even bother to let you know she doesn't want to anymore or cant.

Seems like she doesn't care much.

I agree with the soft nexting and just spin other plates, while occasionally hooking up with her.

She is bi polar lol but a lot of my friends are the same way and it goes deeper than that. She's also young (19) so I think she still is much like me in that we just do stuff in the moment and figure it out later.

 

[ShyGuy1998]

Yeah just hang back a bit and see where it goes. I mean she is telling you why she is behaving the way she is behaving right? If the sex is good do you want to just next her because she isn't doing/acting/saying/texting the way you want her to?

Some guys are too quick to dump a girl the minute she does something human like send a mixed message. Or they say she's mentally ill. Shes not a silicone sex doll, she's a human being like you, so she will do stuff that's a bit confusing and probably frustrating at times, just like you probably do right? Decide what you can deal with in exchange for the positives of being with her and decide at what point it's just not worth it for you.

No I definitely respect her more than that like when we hang out everything's fun and what not but when she asks me to come over after a little bit time and again and then just ignores until the next day and acts like nothing happened at all. That's where things get confusing for me so I have just been going off doing my own thing then coming through if it lines up.

 

[ShyGuy1998]

Don't sh!t where you eat.

Restaurant industry is built on this though

 

[ShyGuy1998]

When you say she ignores you at work does she not say hello if you walk past her? Look away if you wave? You're at work right? Is she focused on work and that's why she's not interacting with you?

What's the longest she's gone without responding to a text? I don't think an hour constitutes as ignoring someone's texts though I get that people expect instant replies everytime they send a msg.

Just trying to better understand what you constitute as radio silence etc and how much is expectations on your part which may be making it seem like she's flakier than she is.

Not saying she's sending clear mags because she seems to be going back and forth which can be confusing but she did say she has trouble letting people in right? Maybe she's struggling with trying to be open and getting out of her comfort zone?

She gets worked up when it's busy she doesn't blow cold but comes off very crass when overloaded which is acceptable because people handle stress differently. Raido silence to me is left me on read until the next day which is usually followed by an apology or some form of plans that she never follows through on. She's been going through some **** though the past couple of days and I think space is what we need.

 

[AJ84]

She gets worked up when it's busy she doesn't blow cold but comes off very crass when overloaded which is acceptable because people handle stress differently. Raido silence to me is left me on read until the next day which is usually followed by an apology or some form of plans that she never follows through on. She's been going through some **** though the past couple of days and I think space is what we need.

Yeah that's a good idea doing your own thing and letting her sort her stuff out. You guys aren't exclusive right? So doing you own thing can include being open to meeting other girls.

 

[dude99]

Restaurant industry is built on this though

So is Washington and look at the mess it is in.

 

[dude99]

. Raido silence to me is left me on read until the next day which is usually followed by an apology or some form of plans that she never follows through on.

Number 1 rule. Always pay attention to the womans action. They will give you the truth when her mouth doesn't.

Sounds to me like she is treating you like an orbiter. You're one of her plates.

 

[Glassguy]

Is it me or is everyone else that has been on this forum longer than a week extremely leery that all of these fvcked up stories from all of these new posters are just former banned posters who joined back up to troll the boards?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Don't sh!t where you eat.

JFC! We've even got members on this board giving advice on how to better deal with this girl.

I don't know how many times I have posted this over the years

DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH WOMEN AT WORK!