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Is she playing me?

BillyPilgrim

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should I let her come to me or Should I call her? Every time I call to plan she says yes. She never seems to initiate
Then what is the problem? You are creating a problem in your mind that doesn't exist.
OP I did a search on here the other day on women who never initiate. Across the board (on the ones I read at least), it's bad news except in the one case where the girl was a virgin. In most cases, nothing even happens sexually.

The girl in the OP may be just trying to take back some frame though.


1 Green flag
2 Some girls believe the man should lead
Lol the women who believe the man should lead typically are traditional, non freaks with bonding issues.
 
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RicBoy

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OP I did a search on here the other day on women who never initiate. Across the board (on the ones I read at least), it's bad news except in the one case where the girl was a virgin. In most cases, nothing even happens sexually.

The girl in the OP may be just trying to take back some frame though.




Lol the women who believe the man should lead typically are traditional, non freaks with bonding issues.
Yeah I’m a bit worried to be honest. I think eventually I’m gonna put her to the test and not reach out.
Every time I reach out we meet at her place and have lots of sex but eventually this will get old too if I’m always the one reaching out.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP I hate to say it but whether it's intentional or not, this girl is practicing some good Girl Game. Reverse the roles, put yourself in her shoes and doesn't it sound like typical DJ behavior? Got to be careful if you want to keep seeing her because she's not investing, so you're investing more by default.

Make sure you're in a place where the most/worst that can happen is the sh1t gets old. Giving her a soft next (not initiating for a while) sounds like a good move.
 

RicBoy

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OP I hate to say it but whether it's intentional or not, this girl is practicing some good Girl Game. Reverse the roles, put yourself in her shoes and doesn't it sound like typical DJ behavior? Got to be careful if you want to keep seeing her because she's not investing, so you're investing more by default.

Make sure you're in a place where the most/worst that can happen is the sh1t gets old.
Yeah I’m getting annoyed with this already and it’s been only 2 weeks. I go over her place she cooks dinner sex cuddle and I leave. I have to do all this 1h traveling just one way. Eventually she is going to lose interest.

I called her today I told her I’d hit her up Wednesday so we can meet. She seemed excited about it. I know she likes me because she is all over me at her place but I also know she has commitment issues.

I need to reverse this soon. Maybe when I leave her place Wednesday night I don’t call her at all for the weekend.
 

Divorced w 3

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Look we all have our standards for what we consider long term material, I’m not sure what about this is dating though. It doesn’t sound like you even leave her apartment.
 

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RicBoy

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Look we all have our standards for what we consider long term material, I’m not sure what about this is dating though. It doesn’t sound like you even leave her apartment.
She said I don’t cook food for **** buddies so you are more than that. She said we are somewhere between dating and **** buddies. I feel she likes me a lot but only reached out twice in 2 weeks. I feel I’m doing all the leg work here
 

RicBoy

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Next thread on SoSuave: Hot girl always gives me great sex on Demand but she never wants to drive me around, Im always the one doing the driving. What do I do guys?
Hahaha that was funny bro.
But listen man don’t you think chasing her for sex all the time isn’t beta? Eventually she will feel she is doing nothing for it and will lose interest. And probably start to say she is busy
 

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She said I don’t cook food for **** buddies so you are more than that. She said we are somewhere between dating and **** buddies. I feel she likes me a lot but only reached out twice in 2 weeks. I feel I’m doing all the leg work here
Have you read the book of Pook? Have you read the machine by anti dump? I just posted a thread on it a few weeks ago. Would highly recommend. Your heart is on your sleeve and while being emotionally available is an awesome trait it may help you to have a little armor.
 

Bokanovsky

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I had a one night stand 2 weeks ago with a girl at her place.
I asked her out and we met again at her place a week later, ordered food, lots of sex, she was all over me.
4 days later I texted and we met at her place again, this time she cooked me a nice meal lots of sex, again she was all over me.
2 days later, I texted and we met at her place again, same story. This time she squirted and told she never had this good sex and loves my personality that im not boring at all. She spent 8 hours on my lap kissing me staring at me with puppy eyes.
What is starting to bother me, this is basically me reaching out and her agreeing to meet.
All is good but she doesn't let me sleep over even tho I did on the first two times, she says its too serious too soon and she cant fall asleep with anyone in her bed. She says she wants to take things slow.

She is 35 and hasn't had a serious relationship for the last 20 years, just FWB sort of things. She probably dropped all guys who wanted more, but says im different because i'm not boring and very talkative..She told me we are somewhere between dating and fwb. She says she is just enjoying the moment and see where this is going. She said she told a few friends already she is seeing a guy and her friends were very happy for her

Should I go No contact and force her to start reaching out? She did only twice in 2 weeks. Or should I keep reaching out once a week and plan stuff?
This is an ideal FWB arrangement. You come over, she cooks you dinner and fvcks you. And then you are free leave to follow your other pursuits. What more can you ask for? But if you want something serious with this woman (in my opinion, you'd be nuts top even consider it), then I can see how you would be annoyed by this.
 

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Hahaha that was funny bro.
But listen man don’t you think chasing her for sex all the time isn’t beta? Eventually she will feel she is doing nothing for it and will lose interest. And probably start to say she is busy
The only reason I get away with it is because I am not yet legally divorced so I have to drive there, I can’t have her here and have us seen or it’ll be more trouble than it is worth and she knows that. She knows essentially she’s my girl on the side but we legitimately like each other quite a bit. But I don’t think if I didn’t have that dynamic I wouldn’t be happy going there all the time. I threw a major wrench at her a month ago skipped an event and had her take all sorts of transit to come my way and she did it, which was nothing more than a test which she passed. So like I said. Read the above material imho
 

Stanley

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This is the same chick who was in therapy for learning how to properly bond and attach to people you mentioned in another post right?

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I'd just keep this girl for what you're currently doing, casual only.

If you don't want to chase or initiate for a booty call then by all means back off. Some girls (most) want the man to do some pursuing. That said based off this post and your last this woman doesn't know what she wants and that never bodes well. Make sure you are firm in what you want. Just sex? then knock off the relationship vibes

The cognitive dissonance is off the charts with her.
-She doesn't know if she wants a fwb or a partner.
-she lets you stay over then doesn't .
-She tells you things are moving to fast and are getting serious, but tells her friends she's 'seeing' someone.
-She doesn't know how to define the relationship, Committed/Fwb etc...
-She is doing special favors and cooking food for you because you're not like the other guys (lol)

Get out of her frame because you are deep in it

Don't fall prey into the love bombing nonsense. Don't take the bait hook line and sinker and end up getting caught in her emotional trap. As others have said "she is for the streets".
 

DonJuanjr

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I think what OP is getting at is, though he's not interested in monogamy, he wants to feel desire towards him, from her. At this point he feels like she has him over due to wanting a djck in her, but not necessarily needs HIS djck in her. Thus the complaining about lack of effort on her part.
 

Pedrito0906

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Fast forward to last night... she is headed to Miami to meet up with the dude she is interested in next week. The local dude knows about this, and she told me that local dude doesn't like it. I all said was "I told you this would happen."
And then if the girl makes him wait for s3x, he will think she's a keeper, cause she didn't give it up easily. Making rules for betas while breaking them for alphas.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I think what OP is getting at is, though he's not interested in monogamy, he wants to feel desire towards him, from her. At this point he feels like she has him over due to wanting a djck in her, but not necessarily needs HIS djck in her. Thus the complaining about lack of effort on her part.
As a man you want to feel like a king not a manwh0re
 

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RicBoy

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As a man you want to feel like a king not a manwh0re
im going to see her Wednesday I think. After that I’m not gonna say anything for the weekend to see her reaction.
I don’t like the fact I have to text and do all the planning and she doesn’t do anything. I know this is only 2 weeks in maybe she will chase more down the road.
 

RicBoy

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Not many girls would initiate convos after Only 2 weeks. After a month or two when her comfort level rises, She most likely will …
Let’s hope you’re right
 
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