"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Is she afraid or just not attracted
- Thread starter karusel
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I honestly feel I'm loosing her. What do you think I should do/say?
Check Pugsley's progress with his to-be wife and understand my frustration... I feel what I'm experiencing is some sort of cold love and I don't like it at all. I don't expect her to cancel all her friends because of me, but I expect at least some sort of.. will to spend her available time with me or at least to return my calls, I mean, for christ sake, how much time does it take to call and say 'hi, I'm busy right now, call you later' or send an SMS while she's brushing her teeth before bedtime?? And don't say I should chill, there's absolutely nothing irrational in my thinking, besides, I am chilled, and worried.
Help?
Another !!!!UPDATE!!!!
She's sent me a 'let's meet tomorrow, there's something I need to tell you' SMS. Oh, is that so? As if I f* didn't see it f* coming f* miles away.
You think perchance I might salvage this with some cunning verbal strategy?
Right, move on.. But I'm still f* pissed off. Goddamnit.
Oh, and regarding the thread title question, it seemed to have turned out to be the latter, I'm afraid, but tomorrow I will however try to blame the first option in the conversation, but I have serious doubts of achieving any goddamn thing. Girls, f* you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
Don't take offense I'm not trying to disrespect you, I'm just telling you like it is.
I think you need to read more of the DJ Bible and you could also benefit from some of David DeAngelo's material (Double Your Dating...look it up on Google.)
Just based on your posts here you seem to exude insecurity and obviously have a serious case of one-itis with this girl. Your only hope to salvage anything with her is to forget about her for a few weeks and meet some other girls. Always date at least two women until the one you like the most asks to be exclusive. In my case I prefer four or five girls at a time.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
Quit calling her.
Date other women.
Where I'm from it's quite unusual to be datig more than one girl at a time, and the term 'exclusive girlfiend' is for me invented by and used by Americans, also, since I live in a small city (although state capital) it is difficult not to go to those few most popular places for a date and odds are (think of smalltown) one might be seen by other 'candidates', which probably would not be a good thing.
However, I will very (very, very) seriously consider the idea.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
I actually joke about it a bit with the girls I see ("you are girl number six in my dating queue") and so far it hasn't caused me any problems.
Believe me, if a girl thinks you are seeing other girls and the other girls like you, it will make her feel more attracted to you.
Kitty Kats Kompete.
Now I'm in a phase trying to fool myself into thinking, that someday later she would realize what she had lost... But I don't think I'll listen to myself, since I'm an idiot so I'll take MrCode's advice instead. Wish me luck.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
