Often overlooked by men looking to get in a relationship is your potential partner's debt level (not just student debt), her health issues (physical and mental), and her family (including her kids).
This has to be objectively evaluated. You do this by setting aside your emotions. It's hard to do but if any woman has any one of these problems, you are walking into a minefield.
I have known women to get into relationships with men so they will pay off debt, and deal with health expenses. Understand when these 'problems' go away, the man's usefulness is exhausted.... she 'might' stick around grateful for your sacrifice: she might not since her reason for attraction no longer exists.
Sure, there are good women that find themselves in bad straights and there is nothing wrong with helping them out. Now I will share with you something that will help you navigate this potential problem.
(1) She blames others for the situation she is in. She is a victim, who needs saving. All the other men in her life were 'terrible' Her parents were dirtbags for not helping with her bills and debt. She does not take personal responsibility for the situation she is in. Hear anything like this... move on quickly.
(2) She brings up her 'problems' early in the dating process. A woman that is REALLY interested isn't going to run the risk of chasing you off with negativity. If she goes dark, early, she's looking for a savior not a partner.
(3) If you are not getting at least a little reciprocity, some effort on her part, she is testing you to see if you are okay if she is a passenger and not a member of a crew. If you are okay with doing all the rowing while she sits and talks about how strong you are... GREAT, you have found your dream girl.
(4) She doesn't appear to be able to hold down a steady job. When she jumps from job to job, could be she is a victim of circumstance... but if she is always blaming others (her boss, her coworkers, working conditions, et al etc) then she is the problem. A serious person, who takes responsibility, will stick with a job that isn't 'perfect' because she needs the health insurance and to pay off her debts, and not b1tch about it... it's called being a grown @ss woman.
Now a personal story. I dated a woman, off and on for five years, I really loved her, she was everything I emotionally wanted. Beautiful, smart, funny, had much in common always had a good time when we were together. I would never commit because she has some serious debt and mental health issues. After much effort, she did find a man to marry her... really nice guy... I do like him... she was lucky to find him. Now he is working two jobs because she suffers from chronic depression serious to the point where she takes weekly ketamine treatment at the cost of $50,000 a year. This is on top of the massive debt he took on.
If this scares the cr@p out of you.... good.... it should. For someone without emotional self-control, fear is a d@mned good motivator.
