Is It too dangerous to date her?

[IRRationalProgrammer]

I’ve heard it said that it’s best to separate family and relationships until... you get engaged/married. But I was wondering if dating my soon to be sister in law’s maid of honor is too close. I ask because if she’s close to her, they will share everything and my brothers fiancé will share everything with my brother. What do you guys think?

 

[marmel75]

I’ve heard it said that it’s best to separate family and relationships until... you get engaged/married. But I was wondering if dating my soon to be sister in law’s maid of honor is too close. I ask because if she’s close to her, they will share everything and my brothers fiancé will share everything with my brother. What do you guys think?

Afraid she will tell your sister how small you are or how terrible you are in the bedroom or something??

 

[BJP1991]

I’ve heard it said that it’s best to separate family and relationships until... you get engaged/married. But I was wondering if dating my soon to be sister in law’s maid of honor is too close. I ask because if she’s close to her, they will share everything and my brothers fiancé will share everything with my brother. What do you guys think?

Shoot your shot, but don’t be desperate or needy. Dating in a circle like that can be tricky, especially once you combine friend and family circles like here.

 

[lamath]

I’ve heard it said that it’s best to separate family and relationships until... you get engaged/married. But I was wondering if dating my soon to be sister in law’s maid of honor is too close. I ask because if she’s close to her, they will share everything and my brothers fiancé will share everything with my brother. What do you guys think?

Dont worry about this.
Go for it w/e happens happens.
Used to date the sister of my brothers gf idgaf.

 

[IRRationalProgrammer]

Shoot your shot, but don’t be desperate or needy. Dating in a circle like that can be tricky, especially once you combine friend and family circles like here.

Yeah that’s the thing. It can be tricky. I try to avoid combing family and relationships but I’ll we’ll see how it goes. I’m taking her out this weekend.

 

[IRRationalProgrammer]

Dont worry about this.
Go for it w/e happens happens.
Used to date the sister of my brothers gf idgaf.

Yeah I’m we’re going for some drinks this weekend so I’ll see how this goes.

 

[Serenity]

Depends what you're after. If you intend to have a serious relationship I'd say go for it. If you already know it's something short term or to just bang her then tread carefully unless you don't give a fvck.

 

[LiveYourDream]

As a woman, I suggest you err on the side of caution. Essentially you are going out with your SIL's very best friend, in the whole world (next to her husband). That translates into anything bad you do to your date, you are also doing to your SIL. Literally, that is how she will take it. If you treat her bad, your SIL will hold it against you, for a long time to come. She'll try to triangulate your brother into joining her feelings against you. Seriously. Whether or not your brother would side with you or his new wife, does not matter. Just do not even put him in that situation.

See the woman for drinks and have fun. Be super clear that intents are conveyed clearly. No drunk ONS. She is not one to pump and dump. If seeking a possible LTR...then check it out. When you are clear she is not a match for MUTUAL fun or more...be really straight with her in respectful way. Realize when you dump her/ move on whatever words you say or text her are going to repeated to your SIL, your brother, and likely more. Always be straight with her. Absolutely do not ghost her.

Family and holiday gatherings will always be around. Don't let the desire for some quick fun, create hurt feelings, that get pinned on for you, forever more. Again, I say enjoy your time with her but with this one err on the side of caution.

 

[sosousage]

id hard next

 

[lamath]

Depends what you're after. If you intend to have a serious relationship I'd say go for it. If you already know it's something short term or to just bang her then tread carefully unless you don't give a fvck.

This

 

[IRRationalProgrammer]

As a woman, I suggest you err on the side of caution. Essentially you are going out with your SIL's very best friend, in the whole world (next to her husband). That translates into anything bad you do to your date, you are also doing to your SIL. Literally, that is how she will take it. If you treat her bad, your SIL will hold it against you, for a long time to come. She'll try to triangulate your brother into joining her feelings against you. Seriously. Whether or not your brother would side with you or his new wife, does not matter. Just do not even put him in that situation.

See the woman for drinks and have fun. Be super clear that intents are conveyed clearly. No drunk ONS. She is not one to pump and dump. If seeking a possible LTR...then check it out. When you are clear she is not a match for MUTUAL fun or more...be really straight with her in respectful way. Realize when you dump her/ move on whatever words you say or text her are going to repeated to your SIL, your brother, and likely more. Always be straight with her. Absolutely do not ghost her.

Family and holiday gatherings will always be around. Don't let the desire for some quick fun, create hurt feelings, that get pinned on for you, forever more. Again, I say enjoy your time with her but with this one err on the side of caution.

Yup I agree with all this. Ill just focus on having fun this weekend and be cautious. I don’t think I’m gonna continue though and be as clear as possible with no bad blood.