Is it reasonable to expect sex if you pay for a girl's dinner?

[skinnyguy]

^^^

 

[Iceberg]

It's unreasonable to buy dinner for a girl you haven't had sex with yet.

"Hey, we barely know each other, but let's sit here stuffing our faces until we're sleepy and silent, like some boring old married couple.

 

[Greggie W]

I wouldn't spend very much time or money on anyone until I was sure they were into me (no gold digging).


I'm might take her out for coffee....I'd buy her coffee to start.

 

[Jair213]

In my opinion, the first few dates should be cheap, simple and fun. And they should kept under an hour, too. DRINKS only. No dinner. The girl probably feels the same way.

There's no sense in wasting time or money or energy on dinner, only to find out that there's no connection or chemistry.

When I do offer to pay for dinner, I do it because I CHOOSE to. I don't expect an instant fvuck in return. I do it because I want to give freely and enjoy myself. My approach is, I'll buy her something when I WANT to.

This..

Make the first dates cheap. Like coffee/Starbucks.

If she offers to pay or pay for her stuff let her pay never say no to this.

I had a friend who use to take this girl out all the time.

He once told her that she better start paying for sh!t too.
She refused started telling him how the guy is supose to
Pay for everything.and how other guys she dated always
Payed for her. He stop talking to her and she posted a rant
On fabook about it saying ''its funny how a dude can't hang
When you become too expensive for him''

B!tch was crazy.

 

[Robert28]

Yeah, of course you're supposed to take a girl out to a fancy dinner that you met on POF! You definitely should pay for her because afterall, "a nice guy" would do such a thing and we all know how in demand those nice guys are to women! Meanwhile, she went over to some random guys house the night before and sat on his couch and drank cheap mault liquor and watched re-runs on tv with him for hours. They banged a few times and he spent a whole $.99 on her and got the p***y and yet you spent $60 and all you got was a hug and "I had a nice time" and watched her walk away.

 

[Bible_Belt]

As stated above, expensive dinners, or any other pricey gifts, before you've had sex with a woman do more to c0ckblock you than anything else.

But that doesn't make the right answer to be a cheapskate. I will buy a woman just about anything...as long as it doesn't cost more than about ten bucks

 

[skinnyguy]

Agree with it being unreasonable to buy dinner for a girl you haven't had sex with yet. I think that it kind of depends on the person - if she's a slvt then of course not. But if she's a nice chick (yes, they exist) I wouldn't mind, if i new she wasn't a gold digger. I'm 31 so I'm not just into fvcking. I kind of want to find a serious girlfriend and eventually get married like my friends. What I've found is that if you fvck a girl on the first date she freaks out and is afraid to talk to you afterwards. I'm willing to go on a few fun dates before closing cause I think it leads to a longer term relationship. Call me a phaggot if you want, but I'm getting old and realizing that there's more to life than just fvcking sluts.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Yeah, of course you're supposed to take a girl out to a fancy dinner that you met on POF! You definitely should pay for her because afterall, "a nice guy" would do such a thing and we all know how in demand those nice guys are to women! Meanwhile, she went over to some random guys house the night before and sat on his couch and drank cheap mault liquor and watched re-runs on tv with him for hours. They banged a few times and he spent a whole $.99 on her and got the p***y and yet you spent $60 and all you got was a hug and "I had a nice time" and watched her walk away.

Exactly, paying/buying for women only works if she was attracted to you enough to fvck you anyway. But even then I'm not sure, because it sort of still lowers your value and at least puts you in the BF material role. But even then why would you want a GF that can't pay her way? Now that women have feminism and affirmative action and took over half the economic opportunities no man should be paying a woman's way.

Even if you are wealthy older and unattractive and want to date a younger, hot "gold digger", you shoudn't try to buy her with dinner and gifts. She'll figure out your wealthy and try to snag you.

 

[Iceberg]

Agree with it being unreasonable to buy dinner for a girl you haven't had sex with yet. I think that it kind of depends on the person - if she's a slvt then of course not. But if she's a nice chick (yes, they exist) I wouldn't mind, if i new she wasn't a gold digger. I'm 31 so I'm not just into fvcking. I kind of want to find a serious girlfriend and eventually get married like my friends. What I've found is that if you fvck a girl on the first date she freaks out and is afraid to talk to you afterwards. I'm willing to go on a few fun dates before closing cause I think it leads to a longer term relationship. Call me a phaggot if you want, but I'm getting old and realizing that there's more to life than just fvcking sluts.

Well, then you can understand my confusion over you starting a thread asking, "Is it reasonable to expect sex after paying for a girl's dinner?" On one hand, you're equating dinner with sex and on the other hand, you're saying "Whoa. Hey. I'm not that type of guy."

Although, I find that game really shouldn't change whether you're approaching a girl as a FWB or a serious girlfriend.

"Nice girls" can get bored/scared away by a guy getting too boyfriend-ish just as quickly as the town s1ut.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Agree with it being unreasonable to buy dinner for a girl you haven't had sex with yet. I think that it kind of depends on the person - if she's a slvt then of course not. But if she's a nice chick (yes, they exist) I wouldn't mind, if i new she wasn't a gold digger. I'm 31 so I'm not just into fvcking. I kind of want to find a serious girlfriend and eventually get married like my friends. What I've found is that if you fvck a girl on the first date she freaks out and is afraid to talk to you afterwards. I'm willing to go on a few fun dates before closing cause I think it leads to a longer term relationship. Call me a phaggot if you want, but I'm getting old and realizing that there's more to life than just fvcking sluts.

OK, I think there is something to the concept that if you move a little slower on a girl, she might see you as LTR and you can build a LTR with her, whereas if you escalated to sex on the first date she will never see it as becoming LTR and may be even as a ONS. Of course a first day lay can turn into a LTR but they usually don't.

There is also the just as likely possibility if you don't try to sexually escalate on day 1, you are not going to see her again anyway and you missed a lay opportunity. But as you've explained you don't care if you miss out on a ONS.

The very same girl could be doing some ONS/"slvtting" it up while she is also looking and open to a LTR with a guy that waits at least a couple of dates before sexually escalating. I hate the idea that of going for LTR with a girl that has done ONS, but most girls do a little slvtting it up for a period before being mostly monogamous.

So I do believe if you "make her wait" past the first date you are increasing your LTR value to her.

But here's the thing, you don't need to buy her dinner or anything, just not push for sex for the first few dates.

You just need a girl that will agree to go on date 2, 3 etc. If a girl agrees to go on date 2 or 3 and you haven't done any more than briefly hugged and kissed, then that's a sign she is most likely interested in you for more than just sex. You need to read the signs though because women usually only have the window of opportunity open for so long. If she's hinting that she wants you to take her after 2 or 3 meet ups, you probably should or she'll likely falsely conclude you're not "man" enough.

 

[Mike32ct]

You don't necessarily have to b*ng her after a first dinner date, but you MUST make some sort of move. At LEAST try for a makeout. If you don't get at LEAST a lip kiss, forgetaboutit.

 

[pinkfl]

Hell no.
It's unreasonable to expect ANYTHING just because you bought a chick dinner.

Buying someone dinner, in my mind, counts as a gift. Real gifts don't come with strings attached. If it's something you want to do, because the girl deserves it you know that it's something she will appreciate, then do it. But treating someone with the ulterior motive of hoping you're going to get some sort of sexual pleasure out of it is for the wrong reasons.

Don't go out for dinner with someone you don't see as a serious relationship. Period. Treat dating like shopping. Do fun, inexpensive dates, AND GET TO KNOW THE OTHER PERSON. Then you'll know if you feel like treating her to dinner.

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree that she doesn't "owe" you anything per se.

I just mean that if you don't at least get a kiss, you are likely looking at low interest level.

 

[Aubree]

It's ironic that men are attacking ladies for her sexual mores when it seems that what they're really upset about is that he violated the tacit dating code that says a woman should be up for some sexual favors if a man buys her a few meals. That's a truly disgusting idea, but it isn't exactly scoring one for women's rights. The callousness of his plan plays into the stereotype that ladies are all conniving gold-diggers — though people have no right to call her names even if she slept with every one of those dudes.

 

[Stagger Lee]

A woman shouldn't allow a guy to pay her half for dinner or drinks unless she is interested in him. I'm not saying she has to have sex with you the same day in exchange. I don't think many woman would just because you give them gifts, but not accept gifts if she is not at least interested/attracted. Of course many women don't have enough class or integrity to not take advantage.

 

[adam225]

These threads are getting silly now... Why the f*ck would you pay for anyone else's dinner let alone a women's ? If she really is interested in you then she will pay her own way (like everyone on this planet). Things like this should be used to test HER - if she expects YOU to pay for ANYTHING then she isn't worth your time let alone your money.

I make it clear from the start that I expect all costs to be split 50/50. If she hasn't got the money then I'd expect her to go to extra effort with something else or pay next time.

All women need to be closely watched carefully from day one to prevent "door mat syndrome".

"skinnyguy" - you need to study the bible and develop your mindset instead of spamming the forum with these pathetic threads.

 

[pete101]

My question is: how do I avoid taking her to dinner if she a) suggests it or b) I've done 3 drink dates in a row?

Is doing drink after drink going to seem boring? I could choose to do something cheap like go to the park on second date but they say it should involve alcohol which leads to potentially sex after.

I'm confused with what is the right play while spending little money as possible. I'm an idiot for taking this one out last weekend and dropping 50 bucks on dinner. No more. I look like a stingy cheapskate but least I have my self respect.

 

[skinnyguy]

These threads are getting silly now... Why the f*ck would you pay for anyone else's dinner let alone a women's ? If she really is interested in you then she will pay her own way (like everyone on this planet). Things like this should be used to test HER - if she expects YOU to pay for ANYTHING then she isn't worth your time let alone your money.

I make it clear from the start that I expect all costs to be split 50/50. If she hasn't got the money then I'd expect her to go to extra effort with something else or pay next time.

All women need to be closely watched carefully from day one to prevent "door mat syndrome".

"skinnyguy" - you need to study the bible and develop your mindset instead of spamming the forum with these pathetic threads.

I'm guessing you are a virgin who has never been in a real relationship before.

 

[adam225]

I'm guessing you are a virgin who has never been in a real relationship before.

:crackup: :crackup: Yeah, pretty much.... My life doesn't revolve around chasing women to make me feel "complete" at least. Look at yourself a little closer in the mirror before trying to insult me. You'll find the real problem lies there. My post was more to put you on the path you NEEDED to be on more than anything...

 

[ChrisHughes]

Never buy a woman dinner if you're not seriously dating her. I have made the mistake twice in a few months. Been laid a lot in the past 6 months - but never any poontang from the ones I bought dinner for. Weird. I am also pretty miffed at having to buy them drinks, but my rule now is one and that's as far as it goes. I have been on dates where the women has LEFT HER PURSE AT HOME because " invited [her] out so therefore should pay". Just disgraceful behaviour. You won't even get a thank-you text the next day for the food or drink you bought them. Sometimes you do, sometimes they thank you there and then, but that kind of appreciation is rare. Where are all these feminists?

In summary, buy them one drink if you must, but that's that. Just the one! And never ever ever buy them dinner until you've banged them.

Simple.