"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Is it really "dry spell" if....

TheLadiesMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2001
Messages
1,061
Reaction score
4
Location
Columbus, Ohio
...you can get it anytime, but just not with peeps who are up to your standards?

It's going on a month now...... :( ...I don't want to call the ex.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
TheLadiesMan said:
...you can get it anytime, but just not with peeps who are up to your standards?

It's going on a month now...... :( ...I don't want to call the ex.
What's your point? Anyone can call up a mid-tier or better hooker and get laid, which is no different than you calling your ex. It's a compromise in self-esteem.

But yes, you're in a dry spell.

A month is mild. It's been like 2 years for me.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
squirrels said:
What's your point? Anyone can call up a mid-tier or better hooker and get laid, which is no different than you calling your ex. It's a compromise in self-esteem.

But yes, you're in a dry spell.

A month is mild. It's been like 2 years for me.
2 Years! Why? What is your reason for that?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
373
Age
67
Location
South Dakota
Some of us don't compromise. I've regretted many of the times I've compromised on my standards with women. Although 2 years seems more intentional[taking a break,self improvement etc. Dental School for me] than accidental. If it was accidental,DA^^ you are fussy.
 

betterthandead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2007
Messages
296
Reaction score
7
whatever you do during your dry session is to not get desperate (pay for *****s, bang women you find unattractive.)
 

brian123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
256
Reaction score
4
What good does it do to sink below your standards?

To each his own, but for me personally, I don't like to lower my standards. ALL female hookup relationships contain drama. Some very little, some alot. I only want to regulate myself to this varying level of drama if the girl is worth it.

I wouldn't worry about it dude. Work on yourself and worthy girls will come your way.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
I think the w hole "dry spell" thing is more media driven crap. first off, a dry spell assumses that your only goal in life is getting laid. While I do get laid and have no problem getting laid, if I were not to get any for a while, it would not be that big a deal becuase IT's not that big a deal.

A real dry spell for me is stop working out for 4 months and gaining weight. Stop putting in the work it is to be a successful person becuase I dont' 'feel like it', not deciding to go out and find some woman and parlay a night into some pointless sex, just so I can say I'm not in a "dry spell".

nothing wrong with getting it, but nothing is wrong with not getting it either.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
yah well, lowering your standards eh? Do you think your standards are realistic? I have a few friends who have totally unrealistic standards and haven't had sex in a few years because of it.

I'll say this. When your getting laid, you tend to get laid more. Sometimes you have to get the ball rolling. It may not be a mansion, but you gotta get a starter home at some point and work your way up. You can't be homeless and say "I want a mansion! but I refuse to live anywhere until I get one!" You wouldn't know what to do with it when you got it and will probably loose it from lack of home ownership experience, if you follow my analogy. Think it over gents.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

brian123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
256
Reaction score
4
Warrior74 said:
yah well, lowering your standards eh? Do you think your standards are realistic? I have a few friends who have totally unrealistic standards and haven't had sex in a few years because of it.

I'll say this. When your getting laid, you tend to get laid more. Sometimes you have to get the ball rolling. It may not be a mansion, but you gotta get a starter home at some point and work your way up. You can't be homeless and say "I want a mansion! but I refuse to live anywhere until I get one!" You wouldn't know what to do with it when you got it and will probably loose it from lack of home ownership experience, if you follow my analogy. Think it over gents.
My standards are realistic. Every guy is different, but Id rather focus my time on getting girls up to my standards. By my standards, I mean girls who when I am out with them, I am proud to be with someone that hot/great etc... I COULD have sex with several girls who are ok, but I'd rather not deal with it. Like I said, every guy is different and this is just me & my choices.

Id rather not waste a minute of time on girls "below me." Id rather not get any, then get it all the time from them.

I agree with the above poster. If getting laid in life is your ONLY goal, then you live a pretty sad life. I try to focus on other things and leave the girl hunting to the side. When I do this, more attractive girls come to me.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
125
backbreaker said:
I think the w hole "dry spell" thing is more media driven crap. first off, a dry spell assumses that your only goal in life is getting laid. While I do get laid and have no problem getting laid, if I were not to get any for a while, it would not be that big a deal becuase IT's not that big a deal.

A real dry spell for me is stop working out for 4 months and gaining weight. Stop putting in the work it is to be a successful person becuase I dont' 'feel like it', not deciding to go out and find some woman and parlay a night into some pointless sex, just so I can say I'm not in a "dry spell".

nothing wrong with getting it, but nothing is wrong with not getting it either.
I've found that sex in general, is overrated. I have only been with two women that I have considered to be "good" in bed. The rest were mediocre.

Sex always comes along one way or another. I don't often go out specifically looking for it, so I might end up with back to back sex with multiple women for awhile, then I might get tied up with work or something and I might go for months without.

Either way it's no big deal.
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
Warrior74 said:
I'll say this. When your getting laid, you tend to get laid more. Sometimes you have to get the ball rolling. It may not be a mansion, but you gotta get a starter home at some point and work your way up. You can't be homeless and say "I want a mansion! but I refuse to live anywhere until I get one!" You wouldn't know what to do with it when you got it and will probably loose it from lack of home ownership experience, if you follow my analogy. Think it over gents.
Wise and true words, my friends.

Sex comes and goes. But--you need to have boundaries, no matter how dry it gets. You might die from lack of water, but you certainly wont die from lack of pvssy.
 

TheLadiesMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2001
Messages
1,061
Reaction score
4
Location
Columbus, Ohio
I just want to say.... that I am truly blessed to have the women that I do in my life right now, truly blessed. I want to love them all, and I mean that in every way.

I have standards... that she's pretty (and they're all pretty) and that she's cool... and a lot can fall under cool.

I don't card, and I don't discriminate. I'm an equal opportunity lover.

I'm just at another crossroads... and I've been a father more than anything else, lately.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
anybody ride buses and subways? all those unhappy people you see are getting laid. there is a message in there somewhere.
 

Aenigma

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 10, 2007
Messages
331
Reaction score
25
squirrels said:
What's your point? Anyone can call up a mid-tier or better hooker and get laid, which is no different than you calling your ex. It's a compromise in self-esteem.

But yes, you're in a dry spell.

A month is mild. It's been like 2 years for me.

2 years isn't a dry spell; it's a drought of biblical proportions.
 

AIRWARRIOR71

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2001
Messages
19
Reaction score
1
Location
Ohio
Just gotta remember, when sex is the goal...watch what you wish for...you might just get it!

Personally, I've done without in the 2 or so year range, mainly because I have medical stuff going on that its not a big desire or need for me right now, and I don't have the mental energy to hafta deal with drama from someone I don't have a serious interest in. The longer you go, the less you worry about where you are going to find it next. It goes also to being able to walk away from someone who isn't what you want or desire. Keep yer thing under control or "it" will have you chasing anything that looks your way...lmao!

I just like to think it might also be an age thing with me...I sowed my wild oats over many years and its not a big issue to get the physical act going...you can find that anywhere. I would rather the chick be up there on my interest level and scale and not worry if I can nail her or not, but spend the time seeing whether she is what I am interested in or not without the wrong head making the decisions!
 

edger

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Messages
1,874
Reaction score
39
Location
A state in America that'll unmercifully leave you
This is when you opt for a nice piece of ass like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaccodotorg/990620979/sizes/m/ for 50 Euros(about 75 US Dollars) in the Red-Light District of Amsterdam.:) This is an actual photo of a prostitute in the Red-Light District.

Going back next week baby for my 3rd trip to f*ck like an animal :D. I fly for free, so it works out great.
 
Last edited:

Señor Fingers

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2003
Messages
760
Reaction score
61
Location
Wherever I am.
It's only a dry spell if you are unable to get any action - like being in the desert without any water. If you are turning down poon, then its a different story.

This is actually a pretty common problem for guys who get good with women - you get to the stage where it is harder to FIND someone worth your time/effort, than actually gaming them. I gotta tell you, it is really rare that I see women nowadays that I would consider hitting up if I was single, and that is just based on looks!

Food for thought:

Maybe you should try reframing the dry spell to an "I spell". Focus a bit more on enjoying yourself, getting out and being social just for the fun of it. Hang with your bros - paint the town, let your hair down and all those other fun cliches. Your happiness should NEVER hinge on pvssy!

The irony of this approach is that you are more likely to hook yourself a hottie with little effort on your part. Desire - Necessity = The Right Vibe
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top