Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Your situation is a textbook example of why I ALWAYS tell young men never to even consider monogamy until 28-30 y.o. and even then being very selective.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'm so glad I consistently hear this, and even more glad I found out about it before marrying into a dysfunctional relationship! I'm just too young!!!Rollo Tomassi said:Your situation is a textbook example of why I ALWAYS tell young men never to even consider monogamy until 28-30 y.o. and even then being very selective.
What? This is IMO horrible advice. It may be intoxicating for the woman to have a guy fawning over her, but it certainly won't lead to a second or third date if the man supplicates. Pay attention to the girl, but don't replace the waiter at the restaurant!minda said:I think that the way to do it is to really concentrate on each woman when you are talking/out on a date as though that woman is the sole focus of attention at that time, and not check out/flirt with other women. It's very intoxicating to have a guy's focused attention and admiration, even for the length of a long-term relationship. It will keep your girl around longer than treating yourself as the PRIZE (uh hum).
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.