Is it me or my friends?

[SeeThruIt]

Quick background:
I’ve always preferred being alone for the most part. I’m an introvert at heart and quickly feel displeased with most people. Particularly if I can sense they’re fake zombies walking around just following trends, being close minded, not interested in anything beyond what’s “cool”, or how it makes them look good etc

I’ve had a handful of “close” friends since the late 90s who due to our life paths mainly keep in touch through social media and group texts.

For the most part I’ve never been a huge fan of group texting, there’s usually so much filler to read and about 20% of anything interesting being said. It’s usually just a bunch of jokes being made, linking random articles, lots of meme sharing.

Recently I’ve been trying to share with them any accomplishments in my life that I thought friends would be proud of or wanted to know first before maybe reading/seeing about it online or from someone else.

Well the reception hasn’t been as I’ve imagined. The way they respond is generally by making some kind of joke or relating it to them. However if one of them expresses something they’re proud of or excited about, the rest seem more engaged.

It started making me wonder if I was the problem, maybe what I’m sharing isn’t exciting to them? Maybe my accomplishments aren’t that worth sharing? Then I wonder is it because we have different interests?

They’re not the “handy” type of friends. I’m always doing something either creative, money saving, or figuring out a solution to some kind of problem so this is what I tend to share with them.

Heck when I bought my first house a few years back after leaving a job that wasn’t treating me right and deciding to improve myself, I was met with a mediocre reaction by them yet when something not as significant happens to them everyone shows great excitement.

Lately I’ve been feeling I’m not going to share much anymore and give little details if it’s ever brought up.

I was wondering about opinions on this, has anyone experienced similar? Am I oversharing? Are friends not the ones you go to when something interesting happens to you? Because I was under the impression that’s who tell outside family but they’re making me think twice

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's normal. Best to keep enthusiasm and good ideas to yourself.

 

[Alvafe]

serious one thing you learn the older you get is, if you are happy stay quiet and don't share, chances are or they will be jealous or don't care, plus that looks more like you wanting atencion with is not a good trait for a guy.

in this case I say you are the problem but not the way you was thinking, just keep talking and having fun, group chat is for jokes and group meetings, you don't do anything other then that, if asked then you answers, don't forward info with was not asked

 

[logicallefty]

Friends are not all they are cracked up to be. I had dozens of friends of whom I drifted apart from for one of two basic reasons 1) I started doing better than them and they got jealous OR 2) I quit being a "yes" man to them and being the slightly less dominant person of the two of us. Basically, I became a lot less beta and a lot more alpha. Even though I don't consider myself a full fledged alpha male, I am still more towards that end of the scale and far far from the beta end where most of my long time friends knew me at and were comfortable with. Many just couldn't handle the change. I still have a few left, but probably only like 10% of what I had before. Ask me how many sh|ts I give? I will give you a clue, the number starts with the letter Z. I also have some good new friends who I consider better friends than the ones I had back in the day. Most of my friends are cops, like myself. So we have that common thing that is the core of our friendship.

 

[GT40]

Just be yourself. You sound like a genuine person and that’s awesome man.
Friends come and go. Only the core ones stay for life.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

youre not compatible with this group of friends which isnt really evident because theyre people you practically grew up with. under any other circumstances, neither you nor your group would probably even like each other.

tbh you dont sound very fun. you probably come off way too stuck up or serious and unrelatable. your friends are the people you should be comfortable enough to openly crack jokes with, talk shlt, and act like idiots. all the proper stuff should be reserved for your job.

no doubt they sense this feeling of superiority or smugness about you.

if you dont care much about them and earning their real respect, then just find more like minded people to befriend. if you do care, then you should find a way to bond with them again. maybe develop a not so serious sense of humor and appreciation or at least a tolerance for the things you deem to be "fake" or too hip for you

When I'm in a more precise and strategic mindset if feels like a drain when the others are really imprecise and only saying what sounds good. I'm sure he feels the same way. Taking long "dives" in those waters causes their emotions to seep in and drains my enthusiasm and precision. In any case we need to be better at idle chit chat and banter but manage how much time we "hang out". Some groups are cool with you taking a joke but won't accept it in return.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I was met with a mediocre reaction by them yet when something not as significant happens to them everyone shows great excitement.

They're jealous and insecure about your achievements.

The second hardest lesson I've learned, behind the first which is obviously the truth about women, is that the more successful you are in life the more other people, even your closest friends, start to resent you. Human nature is an ugly thing my friend. It's not all gloom and doom but the guy who came up with the phrase "It's lonely at the top" knew what he was talking about.

You'll get the "congratulations" you're seeking if what you are achieving doesn't threaten the self esteem of people who know you.