Is it just me, or is marriage counseling totally ridiculous?

[STR8UP]

Watching this show on TLC where these couples go to this "Marriage Boot Camp" and I'm thinking to myself "What the FUKK are these people doing together"?

"We are physically abusive to each other"

"I was unfaithful to him while we were engaged"

Who are these people kidding? What good can come of this?

A marriage that is this much work should NOT exist. Agree or disagree?

 

[WaterTiger]

There are people who get all starry eyed when in love and get married without thinking about the future.

There are people who bring out the very worst in each other and should divorce asap!

There are people who should NEVER get married to ANYONE!

Marriage is a partnership, partnerships have rules like: You don't treat your partner like crap, you don't blame your partner for everything and when you do have problems you sit down and brainstorm for solutions.

The couple who doesn't follow simple rules like this are doomed to fail.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I went through marriage counseling and I can strongly attest it is a complete waste of time and money. The therapist was a nice enough guy but he was too complacent in regard to "fixing" anything. What is broken should stay broken is all I got out of it.

 

[iqqi]

I think some relationships are too far beyond fixing, and nothing will help.

And I do agree that many marriages should have never even been in the first place.

But I think marriage counseling CAN help a couple whose main problem is miscommunication... if the counselor is worth anything.

 

[AgonyUncle]

Spot on.

The problem is that it allows people to find a way for them to validate unexceptable behaviour. I dunno. The whole idea of marriage counseling makes my skin crawl.

 

[ketostix]

I think some relationships are too far beyond fixing, and nothing will help.

And I do agree that many marriages should have never even been in the first place.

But I think marriage counseling CAN help a couple whose main problem is miscommunication... if the counselor is worth anything.

That's dumb. Women don't communicate they just feel things one way or the other.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I went through marriage counseling and I can strongly attest it is a complete waste of time and money.

Me too, me too. I told the female therapist, "I don't want to be here." The end result was that my then-wife threw down the ultimatum that I could no longer talk to my ex-gf. Like an ultimatum requires a ph d?

 

[jonwon]

Watching this show on TLC where these couples go to this "Marriage Boot Camp" and I'm thinking to myself "What the FUKK are these people doing together"?

"We are physically abusive to each other"

"I was unfaithful to him while we were engaged"

Who are these people kidding? What good can come of this?

A marriage that is this much work should NOT exist. Agree or disagree?

I did marriage counselling, truth is, it was a complete waste of time.

But then again i did the marriage thing also and yes that too was a complete waste of time

I would make a great marriage counsellor, i think.

 

[iqqi]

I would make a great marriage counsellor, i think.

Lol, I can imagine this.

A couple comes in, sits on couches, where a therapist (whose face is hidden in shadows) never says anything as they argue. Finally they realize the therapist is just MMMhmming, and GO ON-ing, (he is actually surfing on sosuave as they argue). Finally, when they have stopped talking, Therapist Jonwon leans forward into the light and says "Get a divorce. This marriage can't be saved."

And then this scenario repeats over and over.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Our intern is 20 going on 21. He is about to propose to his girlfriend, and he's only a junior in college. Anyone have any ideas how I can stop him, aside from putting him in a coma?

I have a feeling he will be headed down this road in a couple years.

 

[iqqi]

^^^ Sometimes you just gotta let ppl live their lives. And make their mistakes. Everyone here tried to stop me from making mistakes in the past, but I still made them.

I also learned from them.

 

[Drum&Bass]

A marriage that is this much work should NOT exist. Agree or disagree?

Marriage counseling is part of the Matrix. Marriage is unnatural, being an AFC is also unnatural. Both are constructs of society to create people who will spend money.

and I'm thinking to myself "What the FUKK are these people doing together"?

"We are physically abusive to each other"

"I was unfaithful to him while we were engaged"

Who are these people kidding? What good can come of this?

A marriage that is this much work should NOT exist.

EXACTLY !!!! THIS IS THE BOTTOM LINE !!
but all this AFC programming and media influenced feminization of men is about money.

WEAK AND SUBMISSIVE MEN SPEND MORE MONEY THAN STRONG WILLED INDEPENDENT MEN.

that is why society caters to married couples and ostracizes non married people. Single people tend to live within their means and spend less money.

 

[STR8UP]

Wow, didn't expect ALL of you divorced guys to have the same experience. Sorry your marriages didn't work out, BTW.

I wasnt even really watching the show. It just came on and I caught the first few minutes of it and I couldn't help but thin to myself "WHY ON EARTH would these people even WANT to stay married?"

This counseling business.....It's like going to the nurses office at school after one of the kids just went postal and pumped a dozen rounds into your chest. She proceeds to put band aids on each of the bullet holes and says "There ya go! ALL better. You can go back to class now" and she sends you back to the same room where the crazed maniac is still shooting the place up.

 

[mrRuckus]

Adulthood barely exists anymore. Very few ever reach this stage.

I look around and see all the petty bickering, the power plays, the snide remarks and all that (TO PEOPLE SOMEONE CLAIMS TO LOVE) and it's blindingly obvious that very few have ever or will ever grow up.

I was just thinking about this recently since my ex has been trying to get back with me at least on some level, and i can very clearly see how i have changed and would no longer stoop to her level on so many issues or arguments. Some arguments themselves I feel are beneath me anymore where i can imagine if the same events occured nowadays as occurred 3 years ago that i wouldn't even bother having the conversations/arguments because they were that ridiculous or i'd separate myself and tell her to come back when she was willing to act adult and speak to me with respect. Not that i never stooped low, but now I feel I have so much more control of myself, can restrain myself from the child like tantrums, and realize what's happening before or as it happens rather than having to wait to view things in 20/20 hindsight.

I cannot picture her to have grown up, especially as I view people much older than me bickering like 10 year olds on a daily basis incapable of controlling their emotions long enough to be productive in conversation.

no one wins an argument
no one wins an argument

Maybe i'm a d1ck, maybe i'm full of myself... but i'm starting to feel like a king on his throne over a bunch of peons, but I can't help it as immaturity abounds all around me even from the ones who claim to be so sophisticated and mature.

I don't see how marriage counseling can fix this stuff if both people are inherently x to begin with. It's like building a house out of soggy wood.

x = "children" or "broken"

 

[aliasguy]

-
-
-

I don't know ANYONE who reports that "marriage counseling" saved their marriage.

My experience with this stuff was HUGELY underwhelming.

Pointless.

-
-
-

 

[CGE333]

Our intern is 20 going on 21. He is about to propose to his girlfriend, and he's only a junior in college. Anyone have any ideas how I can stop him, aside from putting him in a coma?

I have a feeling he will be headed down this road in a couple years.

You are probably right that he will be headed down this road in the future. Unfortunately there is nothing that you can tell him that will stop it. The best way for him to avoid a divorce (other than not proposing) is to push the wedding years in the future. Then he and his fiancee can do some growing up, discover who they really are, and then probably come to the realization that they hate each other

You would mean well in your advice to him but everyone at that age is too hard headed to heed your warning. Heck, I was the same way when I was 20 and 21.

 

[Nighthawk]

I think the problem is similar to psychiatry. By making so much effort not to unfairly influence the situation, they end up having no effect. Just 'Hmm, and what do you think about that?' etc.

What people want is a King Solomon/Judge Judy style hearing where grievances are settled 'Ok, it's the guys/woman' fault, say sorry and behave.'

But of course most people wouldn't accept a verdict that didn't go their way, so ultimately that would be pointless too.

 

[jophil28]

I think that i feel a career change coming on - MARRIAGE COUNsELOR. How good is that ? You sit around in an A/C office and just listen to crap from two idiots for 55 minutes and get $120- p/hr...

I can feel a BMW coming into my life .

 

[Bible_Belt]

My ex-wife is a marriage counselor.

 

[aliasguy]

-
-
-

I went to my 25th year high school reunion in August. I'm standing there talking to this guy I haven't seen since graduation, and I realize I recognize his wife from SOMEWHERE. I ask her where I know her from. She hems and haws, then LATER, she whispers to me that she had been the marriage counselor that the ex and I had seen. Oh, YEAH, that was it!!!

I told her, right then and there, that NOTHING that happened in her office when were in there together helped us at all. And I told her WHY, too. It wasn't because she did a bad job. It was because my ex didn't really want to address anything REAL. Everything was whitewashed, or talked around, but not truly hit head-on. Or, she simply b*tched about typical, low intensity, normal chick complaints. It was all a big farce.

See, in "marriage counseling," one party is usually "wrong," and either: (1) They know it, and bullsh*t their way through the "counseling," or (2) They DON'T know it, and they rationalize, evade, misrepresent, and LIE, consciously or unconsciously.

If both parties are wrong, they BOTH do it. Even worse.

This woman was so nice about it all. We even laughed about the whole thing. I had seen her individually a couple of times after the ex gave up, moved out. (Then I divorced her.) Guess what? She did help me see a few things more clearly, but ALL the advice she gave me about how to handle the ex was useless, and did no good. I didn't tell her that, though.

-
-
-