Is it just me, or is marriage counseling totally ridiculous?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Counselling doesn't work because couples wait to get professional help until after they've run their relationship into a ditch. It's like changing the oil because the sludge you were continuously running on made your engine overheat and you threw a rod.

 

[edger]

Wouldn't we think here that most "marriage counsellors" are going to give you AFC advice since they are part of the matrix?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Wouldn't we think here that most "marriage counsellors" are going to give you AFC advice since they are part of the matrix?

Typically they do when the guy has an attitude of an typical AFC. Come in showing something different, you'll see something different, even if the counselor is a woman. Imagine how a woman counselor would react when engaging a non-typical man? Just something to consider.

 

[edger]

Typically they do when the guy has an attitude of an typical AFC. Come in showing something different, you'll see something different, even if the counselor is a woman. Imagine how a woman counselor would react when engaging a non-typical man? Just something to consider.

But isn't it also the common consensus around here that women give false advice regardless of whether you're an AFC?

 

[joekerr31]

Watching this show on TLC where these couples go to this "Marriage Boot Camp" and I'm thinking to myself "What the FUKK are these people doing together"?

"We are physically abusive to each other"

"I was unfaithful to him while we were engaged"

Who are these people kidding? What good can come of this?

A marriage that is this much work should NOT exist. Agree or disagree?

most people dont get married because they love each other. most people get married because they are afraid to live life alone.

that said, after being married for a while they realize that marriage doesn't seem to make life more meaningful or anything.

at which point they start to blame their S.O. for not being the magic cure all to lifes issues.

then they go to therapy to try and 'save' their marriage. the ONLY thing that will EVER save a marriage is.......MATURITY!

therapy that helps two people become more maturity will save a marraige.

however, when two people are intersted only in playing the 'blame game' then therapy is probably useless and only prolonging the invetibable.

btw, im drunk as i write this, hopefully the above makes snese.

 

[aliasguy]

-
--


No, joeker, it doesn't make sense.

Were you married? Did you go to "counseling"? Did it help?

I was. I did. It didn't. And I tried HARD.


-
--

 

[aliasguy]

-
-
-


And how do you know why "most" people get married?

I agree "maturity" is VASTLY important, you're right about that.

But it sounds to me like you're blowing smoke, man.

-
-
-

 

[Mr.Positive]

I've never been married, but I would imagine the good thing about marriage counseling, is that both people are willing to sit down and try and work out their issues. That says a lot. At least, they recognize that their marriage sucks and want to do something about it.

Actually, all the counselor really needs to do, is guide the conversation to something constructive and "positive", and viola! The real issues surface, and either resolve themselves, or the train wreck of a marriage gets to be another statistic.

Either way, the counselor comes out ahead, with a fat paycheck.

 

[joekerr31]

-
-
-


And how do you know why "most" people get married?

I agree "maturity" is VASTLY important, you're right about that.

But it sounds to me like you're blowing smoke, man.

-
-
-

it sounds that way cuz you want it to. you don't like the sh*t i say and never will. so be it. i could care less.

 

[aliasguy]

I've never been married, but I would imagine the good thing about marriage counseling, is that both people are willing to sit down and try and work out their issues. That says a lot. At least, they recognize that their marriage sucks and want to do something about it.

Actually, all the counselor really needs to do, is guide the conversation to something constructive and "positive", and viola! The real issues surface, and either resolve themselves, or the train wreck of a marriage gets to be another statistic.

Either way, the counselor comes out ahead, with a fat paycheck.

-
-
-
The only thing you said that makes ANY sense in your post above is the last line, Mr. P.

Damn.

-
-
-

 

[edger]

-
--


Were you married? Did you go to "counseling"? Did it help?

I was. I did. It didn't. And I tried HARD.


-
--

I feel ya man, I really do. I've never been married(inches away though), but I know what it's like to try HARD to make a relationship work, only to get no results. It's a sh*ty, horrible feeling.

 

[Mr.Positive]

-
-
-
The only thing you said that makes ANY sense in your post above is the last line, Mr. P.

Damn.

-
-
-

OK. I'll try make this a little clearer for the argumentative types.

A marriage has problems. Instead of instant divorce, both parties are willing to try and work things out and try and save the marriage. Marriage counseling can be a GOOD thing. Just for that reason.

Fight son, don't roll over and die without trying.

 

[aliasguy]

it sounds that way cuz you want it to. you don't like the sh*t i say and never will. so be it. i could care less.

-
-
-
It's not because YOU say it, it's because I don't buy WHAT you say. I rarely even notice the poster's NAME. I just read the post. It's not ME vs. YOU, buddy.


How do you KNOW why most people get married, joekerr?

This isn't about ME, or YOU, but about REAL LIFE.

HAVE you been to a marriage counselor? If so, maybe you can give me a more rosy picture than what I've been through and heard about from others. I'd WELCOME that. Maybe I'd be a little more optimistic about it all.


Otherwise, why are you TALKING about it, even?

Do you have any firsthand experience, here?

-
-
-

 

[aliasguy]

OK. I'll try make this a little clearer for the argumentative types.

A marriage has problems. Instead of instant divorce, both parties are willing to try and work things out and try and save the marriage. Marriage counseling can be a GOOD thing. Just for that reason.

Fight son, don't roll over and die without trying.

-
-
-
I give up.

This is like talking to someone about surfing when the other guy has never left Nebraska.

-
-
-

 

[joekerr31]

-
-
-
It's not because YOU say it, it's because I don't buy WHAT you say. I rarely even notice the poster's NAME. I just read the post. It's not ME vs. YOU, buddy.


How do you KNOW why most people get married, joekerr?

This isn't about ME, or YOU, but about REAL LIFE.

HAVE you been to a marriage counselor? If so, maybe you can give me a more rosy picture than what I've been through and heard about from others. I'd WELCOME that. Maybe I'd be a little more optimistic about it all.


Otherwise, why are you TALKING about it, even?

Do you have any firsthand experience, here?

-
-
-

to be honest, im so utterly sh*t faced tonight i dont even know wha tim replyign to here in this post.

so with that in mind, the how about i just say f*ck you

 

[aliasguy]

to be honest, im so utterly sh*t faced tonight i dont even know wha tim replyign to here in this post.

so with that in mind, the how about i just say f*ck you

-
-
-

OK, I'll accept that, man. (And, I'll pass on the reciprocal F*CK YOU, too. For now.)

At least what you wrote is straightforward and not a buncha B.S.

Merry Christmas, and sleep well. Hope you're not late for work tomorrow.

-
-
-

 

[Mr.Positive]

-
-
-
I give up.

This is like talking to someone about surfing when the other guy has never left Nebraska.

-
-
-

You are right, I've never been married. I've never had to go to marriage counselling.

This isn't a war against Aliasguy here.

I'm sure you have more experience with this than I do.

But I'll tell you this...if I ever do get married. I'll fight for my marriage. That what I see marriage counseling as. Yeah, it's probably mostly BS. But, at least it's something. I'm sure it's helped some marriages though, maybe not most of them, but if one salvagable marriage is saved, yeah...my opinion is that marriage counseling can be a good thing.

That's the problem with today's society. If one thing goes wrong, everyone throws up their hands and QUITS.

We need more strength now, today, more than ever before in history.

That's my point Alias!

But again, you know more than all of us here, so be it.

 

[joekerr31]

That's the problem with today's society. If one thing goes wrong, everyone throws up their hands and QUITS.

which is why i believe we are witnessing the begining of the end of the human race.

while we will always live on (since after all, all it takes it for one man and one woman to survive for us to liveon)... we are doomed in the general sense.

and the reason is that no one is prepared to sacrifice for anytihng anymore. no one believes in anything anymore. we are a world where the individual means next to nothing and where, at the same time, the individual is left to figure out and assign his own value.

is it any surprise we have a world with people who have no clue what to do and who simply adopt whatever role they can find that will help them survive.
anyway, im going to bed, ive been drunk for like 5 hours now. time for some sleep. hehe.

 

[aliasguy]

You are right, I've never been married. I've never had to go to marriage counselling.

This isn't a war against Aliasguy here.

I'm sure you have more experience with this than I do.

But I'll tell you this...if I ever do get married. I'll fight for my marriage. That what I see marriage counseling as. Yeah, it's probably mostly BS. But, at least it's something. I'm sure it's helped some marriages though, maybe not most of them, but if one salvagable marriage is saved, yeah...my opinion is that marriage counseling can be a good thing.

That's the problem with today's society. If one thing goes wrong, everyone throws up their hands and QUITS.

We need more strength now, today, more than ever before in history.

That's my point Alias!

But again, you know more than all of us here, so be it.

-
-
-
I know for SURE that I don't know "more than all of us here," but I'll be DAMNED if someone whose never been married is gonna try to school me on "fighting for" a marriage, and "rolling over."

You are just outta line on THIS PARTICULAR issue, buddy, and I NEVER threw up my hands and QUIT, until I saw the writing on the wall, and I knew it was all over.


Don't judge, Mr. P. You don't know my story in full.

Strength had NOTHING to do with the final outcome.

Stick to the threads where you KNOW something about the topic at hand.

Come back to this thread when you've BEEN through a little more sh*t.



As I wrote to joeker, Merry Christmas to ya, man.

-
-
-

 

[Mr.Positive]

-
-
-
I know for SURE that I don't know "more than all of us here," but I'll be DAMNED if someone whose never been married is gonna try to school me on "fighting for" a marriage, and "rolling over."

You are just outta line on THIS PARTICULAR issue, buddy, and I NEVER threw up my hands and QUIT, until I saw the writing on the wall, and I knew it was all over.


Don't judge, Mr. P. You don't know my story in full.

Strength had NOTHING to do with the final outcome.

Stick to the threads where you KNOW something about the topic at hand.

Come back to this thread when you've BEEN through a little more sh*t.



As I wrote to joeker, Merry Christmas to ya, man.

-
-
-

Aliasguy, I'm not judging you. I don't know your full story. However, I am entitled to my opinion.

Marriage counseling may not help most marriages, but it may help a few. So, in my opinion, marriage counseling can be a good thing.

I just really hate to see so much negativity. It makes me want to post, so show, there can be a good side...

Anyway, I'm out on this topic. Best of luck Alias...