Is it bad to show a lot of interest in the beginning?

[nicksaiz65]

So this thread is kind of a continuation of the previous one I made.

I'm going to get the Snapchat of a friend of a friend. But I don't personally know this girl. I was thinking about saying something like "Hey, what's up. I don't think we know each other, but I'm the musician at [x bar that she goes to sometimes.] I just thought you were really cute and wanted to introduce myself!"

Then I would build some rapport without being clingy, and get her out on a date.

Is this beta behavior or is something like this good?

 

[wifehunter]

So this thread is kind of a continuation of the previous one I made.

I'm going to get the Snapchat of a friend of a friend. But I don't personally know this girl. I was thinking about saying something like "Hey, what's up. I don't think we know each other, but I'm the musician at [x bar that she goes to sometimes.] I just thought you were really cute and wanted to introduce myself!"

Then I would build some rapport without being clingy, and get her out on a date.

Is this beta behavior or is something like this good?

If she's not chasing you, go fish.

Get off the intertubez, and go talk to ladies that are clearly not whales.

 

[Billtx49]

So this thread is kind of a continuation of the previous one I made.

I'm going to get the Snapchat of a friend of a friend. But I don't personally know this girl. I was thinking about saying something like "Hey, what's up. I don't think we know each other, but I'm the musician at [x bar that she goes to sometimes.] I just thought you were really cute and wanted to introduce myself!"

Then I would build some rapport without being clingy, and get her out on a date.

Is this beta behavior or is something like this good?

Considering how friend wise close you are to her, stick to real life contact.
When there’s only a friend between you two, resorting to internet contact only is pvssy behavior.

 

[nicksaiz65]

If she's not chasing you, go fish.

Get off the intertubez, and go talk to ladies that are clearly not whales.

I'm really about to go for it haha

 

[nicksaiz65]

Considering how friend wise close you are to her, stick to real life contact.

So you'd just wait on it until she shows up in person? Now that I think about it I may be too impatient to do that lol

 

[Billtx49]

So you'd just wait on it until she shows up in person? Now that I think about it I may be too impatient to do that lol

Talk to the mutual friend. Show definite interest. Get an arranged date if she’s single…

 

[nicksaiz65]

Talk to the mutual friend. Show definite interest. Get an arranged date if she’s single…

For sure, time to shoot my shot

 

[zekko]

This is a video that I find interesting. It's some girl apologizing to all the "nice guys" because young girls tend to choose the d!cks instead.
What I find funny is that even though she is apologizing, she can't help but ridicule the (so called) nice guys and make fun of them at around the 1:37 - 1:47 mark.

She goes on to say that the problem with nice guys is that they are too easy to get, there's no excitement or challenge. Which is the danger of showing too much interest early, I guess.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Best if your friend of a friend invites her to your next musical performance. Musicians get laid, right?

Most of the times I’ve gotten laid has been because of my music haha. So like literally ask my friend to get her friend to the show?

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is a video that I find interesting. It's some girl apologizing to all the "nice guys" because young girls tend to choose the d!cks instead.
What I find funny is that even though she is apologizing, she can't help but ridicule the (so called) nice guys and make fun of them at around the 1:37 - 1:47 mark.

She goes on to say that the problem with nice guys is that they are too easy to get, there's no excitement or challenge. Which is the danger of showing too much interest early, I guess.

That’s what I was thinking of. As long as I qualify her and don’t text her every single day I think I should be ok.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Don't initiate contact through social media and tell her you're a musician/in a band. You're already jumping through 3 hoops there to get in touch and qualify yourself.

That's thirsty behavior.

If you want to make maximum impact, walk up to her and your friend after you finish your set and tell her you noticed her before and wanted to meet her, but do not allaborate on that at all. Do not tell her you've seen her on social media, thought about messaging her... None of that. Make it seem like you saw her once and remembered her. That will make you seem bold for making a quick move, and you'll be doing it during a moment of high status coming off of a stage.

Invite the mutual friend out, but don't mention the girl.

Make it all seem organic and spontaneous when it happens.

That almost does seem smoother now that I’ve slept on it lol. My first friend comes out to pretty much every show. So just wait on it?

 

[Billtx49]

That almost does seem smoother now that I’ve slept on it lol. My first friend comes out to pretty much every show. So just wait on it?

If your friend comes that often, the girl you’re after, her friend, will show up with her sooner or later. Be ready and smooth when that time comes, but keep the first friend primed with some friendly attention until that point.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You shouldn't care so much about meeting this girl. You should focus on meeting many women. If this girl shows up, then great, introduce yourself. But the more you have to plot and scheme to try to meet her, the more it shows you don't have an abundance mindset and will come off as needy to her even if you aren't consciously aware of it. A true DJ can take it or leave it, especially a girl you haven't even met yet.... too much time and thought into someone you have no idea about. She could be a total dud, so why all the plotting and scheming?

 

[nicksaiz65]

You shouldn't care so much about meeting this girl. You should focus on meeting many women. If this girl shows up, then great, introduce yourself. But the more you have to plot and scheme to try to meet her, the more it shows you don't have an abundance mindset and will come off as needy to her even if you aren't consciously aware of it. A true DJ can take it or leave it, especially a girl you haven't even met yet.... too much time and thought into someone you have no idea about. She could be a total dud, so why all the plotting and scheming?

That is true, and I am spinning plates at the moment. It just hit me the other day that her friend was surprisingly attractive so I was trying to figure out how to go about this lol

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yes. Wait on it. The way I laid it out for you is what I've done many times myself as a musician, but more importantly, I am advising you do it that way because it is the best approach even for someone who is not a super smooth DJ and makes mistakes. You CAN do it through social media, it's not impossible, but it is a weaker frame, her IL is going to be lower, there is more room for error and small mistakes can cost you big. But do it the way I told you, and you're basically walking off of a stage with social status and literally picking her out of a crowd. If she's into you, her IL will never be higher then at that moment, even if you're showing high interest. Even if you're nervous and say something goofy, you'll still be fine. She may even think it's cute. Come off goofy or thirsty in any way through a social media message out of left field and you're done.

Dope bro. What instrument do you play?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

That is true, and I am spinning plates at the moment. It just hit me the other day that her friend was surprisingly attractive so I was trying to figure out how to go about this lol

It's only human. We all get that feeling. But the first step is to recognize what's happening and take action accordingly.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Guitar. Often filled in a pinch on bass. Some drums, keys and other instruments in the recording studio. Started singing/playing guitar later on, but vocals aren't my strength.

Nice. I'm a violinist and I make a good bit of EDM too. I'm thinking about learning to sing so I can do my own vocals on some tracks

 

[Billtx49]

That is true, and I am spinning plates at the moment. It just hit me the other day that her friend was surprisingly attractive so I was trying to figure out how to go about this lol

Well, don’t over think it unti the time comes, but you do realize that if you had approached when you first saw her and found her attractive that your current brain power usage would be unneeded …

 

[nicksaiz65]

Well, don’t over think it unti the time comes, but you do realize that if you had approached when you first saw her and found her attractive that your current brain power usage would be unneeded …

I've never met this girl in person unfortunately. Every time she came to a show, I was out of town. So I've only seen pictures of her on social media

 

[Billtx49]

I've never met this girl in person unfortunately. Every time she came to a show, I was out of town. So I've only seen pictures of her on social media

So let me get my mind clear on this, you’re doing all this mental masturbation about a girl you’ve never been in the same room or location with?