Is getting poon really as easy as this woman says?

[BillyPilgrim]

so long as you're willing to lower your standards

And therein lies the catch

 

[GoodMan32]

You're mostly inaccurate in your assessment of tech.

Had you been born 15 years sooner, you would have had better social skills because you would have needed them to even survive. Those social skills would have given you a better chance to get laid in the conventional mating marketplace.

Millennials as a whole are more socially stunted by technology than their predecessor generations. Generation X spent more time in real life social situations as children. Generation X'ers learned to talk on the telephone with people and they did more human-to-human contact things when they were younger. Generation Z has even worse real life social skills than Gen Y/Millennials.

In the late 1990s/early 2000s, I was starting to see that technology was replacing human interactions among my early Millennial peers. I remember being in the dorm in my freshman year (2001-02) and watching people communicate more on AOL Instant Messenger than on the telephone.

By the standards of the early 2010s, all you did was dumpster dive on subpar websites.

By the early 2010s, men were having to send hundreds of messages on OkCupid, Match, and Plenty of Fish to get laid. People tend to forget now than the mainstream dating websites of 2004-2012 were not easy platforms for getting laid. They were saturated even by then. 2003-2005 is around the time that dating websites first got de-stigmatized and then dating websites started to get difficult before the dating apps launched.

The fact that you even were using tech methods while having a college campus as a resource was a very bad sign in your era of attending college. College campuses offer social opportunities that can't be replicated for working age individuals. Working age individuals were the ones who de-stigmatized dating websites in the earlier part of the 2000s decade because they lacked the social resources of a college campus.

I suppose we'll never know with 100% certainty what I would be like if I was born 15 years sooner. That being said, it's crucial to keep in mind I'm an autist.

A neurotypical man born in the early 90s will (on average) have worse social skills than a neurotypical man 15 years older than him.

In the autistic community, on the other hand, an autist is an autist, no matter what year they were born. I'm skeptical of the idea I'd have better social skills if I was a Gen Xer.

The fact plenty of my college classmates born in the late 80s and early 90s had no problem getting cooch through in-person methods in college would suggest the timing of my birth wasn't the problem; my autism was.

You're 100% correct; the fact I was using tech methods at all in college was a bad sign. Other than a girl I dated from class for about a week and a half (who turned out to be so unbearable to be with I had to break it off), every in-person attempt led to rejection when I was in college (In other words, it's not that I didn't try in person; it's that I barely got anywhere in person)

The fact I was one of the youngest in my grade, and I had a lot of contact with students 1-3 grades above me in college, probably didn't help. Even taking my autism out of the equation, a lot of the girls I was around probably viewed me as more of a younger brother than a potential partner (and would have even if I was neurotypical)

I don't dispute your assessment that I was dumpster diving on subpar websites. I just wish such websites existed in 2025.

 

[GoodMan32]

I was born 15 years earlier, probably older than you. @GoodMan32 is right. Tech makes life allot easier. You dont learn more social skills without it, you do more without.

Well-said. I was thinking of name-dropping you as an example of a guy born 15 years sooner than me who deals with similar issues I deal with (but I thought you might have felt insulted...even though my intention wasn't to insult you)

In any case, I'm glad you name-dropped yourself (so I don't have to)

 

[GoodMan32]

And therein lies the catch

I'm willing to dip as low as a 5/10 (using my ratings). I've dipped even lower before...but I'm no longer willing to dip as low as I did in my younger days.

I guarantee many a woman I'd rate a 5/10, some men would rate as below 5. In other words, I'd be willing to dip pretty low.

 

[SW15]

The fact I was one of the youngest in my grade

That's always a negative factor for male who want to date females in their own grade. This is tough because any male high school student (and even college student) will have the most direct contact with women in their own grade. Being the "younger male" is a bit uncomfortable.

It can make 9th grade difficult. Being the youngest in the grade level is less of a factor by 11th-12th grade when a male can date 1-2 grades down.

On a college campus, freshman year is more difficult with this.

A male needs to stand out on physique and height to offset this factor if he wants to open up more options in his own grade.

In college, freshman year can be tough with this going on. Freshmen women are desired by all males on campus. The typical sophomore-senior female isn't psyched to date a freshman male.

College campuses have a lot of resources like extracurricular clubs as a way to meet women. This topic has been discussed on the college sex thread many times.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

The fact plenty of my college classmates born in the late 80s and early 90s had no problem getting cooch through in-person methods in college would suggest the timing of my birth wasn't the problem; my autism was.

Autism is a big personality drawback. Someone with that drawback is going to need to fall back on looks/money/status to offset that. You didn't have the looks, money, or status to offset it.

Rates of male sexlessness for men in your age range were already increasing by the time you were on campus.

In the autistic community, on the other hand, an autist is an autist, no matter what year they were born. I'm skeptical of the idea I'd have better social skills if I was a Gen Xer.

I disagree. I think the combination of Millennial and autist makes things worse.

A neurotypical man born in the early 90s will (on average) have worse social skills than a neurotypical man 15 years older than him.

In the neurotypical community, there were signs of worsening social skills in the early 1980s group of births (the earliest Millennials). I've observed later Millennials (1990-1996 births) having even worse social skills than the 1982-1985 born Millennials. The 1982-1985 born Millennials have had worse social skills than 1972-1975 Generation X'ers.

Millennials were the first large generation to experience inceldom.

In Generation X, someone like Neil Strauss (born 1969) was such as unusual case as an incel/borderline incel into his early 30s before starting to study seduction with Mystery and other PUAs. Strauss' incel/borderline incel status was due to his height (5'6") and premature balding.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It can be really easy.
I think my record of meeting to bed was 15 min. If a girl finds you hot & you’re in the right place at the right time: then yes. It really is easy.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's always a negative factor for male who want to date females in their own grade. This is tough because any male high school student (and even college student) will have the most direct contact with women in their own grade. Being the "younger male" is a bit uncomfortable.

It can make 9th grade difficult. Being the youngest in the grade level is less of a factor by 11th-12th grade when a male can date 1-2 grades down.

On a college campus, freshman year is more difficult with this.

A male needs to stand out on physique and height to offset this factor if he wants to open up more options in his own grade.

In college, freshman year can be tough with this going on. Freshmen women are desired by all males on campus. The typical sophomore-senior female isn't psyched to date a freshman male.

College campuses have a lot of resources like extracurricular clubs as a way to meet women. This topic has been discussed on the college sex thread many times.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

Autism is a big personality drawback. Someone with that drawback is going to need to fall back on looks/money/status to offset that. You didn't have the looks, money, or status to offset it.

Rates of male sexlessness for men in your age range were already increasing by the time you were on campus.



I disagree. I think the combination of Millennial and autist makes things worse.



In the neurotypical community, there were signs of worsening social skills in the early 1980s group of births (the earliest Millennials). I've observed later Millennials (1990-1996 births) having even worse social skills than the 1982-1985 born Millennials. The 1982-1985 born Millennials have had worse social skills than 1972-1975 Generation X'ers.

Millennials were the first large generation to experience inceldom.

In Generation X, someone like Neil Strauss (born 1969) was such as unusual case as an incel/borderline incel into his early 30s before starting to study seduction with Mystery and other PUAs. Strauss' incel/borderline incel status was due to his height (5'6") and premature balding.

You're damn right the summer birthday thing is a drawback for a guy when he's in school. Even if I was neurotypical, the summer birthday thing likely would have hindered my chances (at least with girls in my own grade).

I've mentioned on the forum before there was only one girl in all of high school where I heard through the grapevine she was into me. She was a grade below me (which makes your case of how dudes with summer birthdays often need to dip down to lower grades if they want to get a girl). I wasn't into her (so I never ended up dating her)

Then there was another girl a grade below me who likely would have accepted an askout from me (We had a flirtatious dynamic). She showed more signs than any of the girls I had previously asked out. Yet I still wouldn't have been able to bear a possible rejection (I had been burned too many times by that point). So I never asked her out.

Come college, I had a number of factors working against me. In addition to the summer baby thing and the autism thing, freshman girls are (as you pointed out) desired by all straight dudes in college (which puts a freshman dude at a disadvantage). It also didn't help that my clique my freshman year was male-heavy (and the only 2 girls in the clique had boyfriends)

As for my contact with other students outside my clique, the reason I had a disproportionate amount of contact with upperclassmen was twofold.

1. I had already declared my major when I entered college, in a program where a lot of students don't declare until sophomore year.

2. I joined an extracurricular club. The club had, as far as I remember, only one other freshman. The vast majority were upperclassmen. Come my 2nd year of college, no new freshmen joined the club. Come my 3rd year, no new freshmen joined the club (nor were there even any sophomores in the club by that point). The club no longer existed my 4th year of college (because we had lost pretty much all the members by then)

 

[GoodMan32]

It can be really easy.
I think my record of meeting to bed was 15 min. If a girl finds you hot & you’re in the right place at the right time: then yes. It really is easy.

For me, it sometimes (in my early 20s) was as easy as: Post an ad on Craigslist. Have a woman reply to my ad. Then she immediately drove over to nail me after exchanging only a few messages.

Being an autist, the sooner a woman is willing to hop into bed, the better my chances are (Because that way I can get her into bed before she picks up on any signs of my autism. The more time it takes to ger her into bed, the more likely it is my autism will come out...which means the bedroom thing ultimately won't happen in most cases)

I've been called impatient (which pi$$es me off). It's not that I'm impatient; I simply have noticed a pattern: If I don't get her into bed right away, I probably never will.

If my track record didn't show that a woman's odds of dropping her panties plummets the more time she has to get to know me, it wouldn't be so important to me to get sex so soon.

 

[corrector]

I totally agree with this, guys will argue but I would say it's even easier if you're not a Chad but have solid game and know what you're doing, obviously for Chad-Tier dudes the poon just falls in they lap ha ha

The process may feel more mentally rewarding if you are non-chad and are a thrill of the chase type of guy...but something falling into your lap is always easier, at least on paper.

 

[SW15]

Being an autist, the sooner a woman is willing to hop into bed, the better my chances are (Because that way I can get her into bed before she picks up on any signs of my autism. The more time it takes to ger her into bed, the more likely it is my autism will come out...which means the bedroom thing ultimately won't happen in most cases)

I've been called impatient (which pi$$es me off). It's not that I'm impatient; I simply have noticed a pattern: If I don't get her into bed right away, I probably never will.

If my track record didn't show that a woman's odds of dropping her panties plummets the more time she has to get to know me, it wouldn't be so important to me to get sex so soon.

Men who tend to get to sex fast are men with elite physiques who have charismatic personalities. They often mix in alcohol, late nights, and loud music (bar approachers getting same night sex). However, bar approaching isn't necessary anymore to get to sex fast.

Swipe apps and social media DMs have emerged as options for getting to get sex. With a swipe app or DM, a man will still need to arrange a social outing at some sort of bar (not a pickup type bar setting), have at least 1-2 drinks, and then make a move for sex.

With both same night sex off of a bar approach and tech arranged first dates, there's a certain level of social skill needed to make her feel attracted, execute kino escalation, and create a desire to make her want to come home with you (or go to her place) very quickly. That social skills is made up of charisma and persuasiveness.

Autistic men tend to lack the necessary charisma for same night sex/first date sex off of a tech arranged date. When autistic men try to mimic what might be interpreted as charisma, it often fails to land and is perceived as odd by the female (who is almost always neurotypical).

Autists likely need their physiques to carry them, even more so than neurotypical men. Your physique is nowhere near that level.

Same night sex from a bar approach or first date sex from a tech arranged date often doesn't lead to repeat sex. There are numerous reasons for this and they often happen for neurotypical men. If neurotypical men often struggle with retention after getting to sex fast, it seems like that issue would be compounded for an autist in the rare occasion that an autist would get fast sex.

Who has called you impatient? Is it mostly women? I can see why a woman would call you impatient for getting sex.

You're damn right the summer birthday thing is a drawback for a guy when he's in school. Even if I was neurotypical, the summer birthday thing likely would have hindered my chances (at least with girls in my own grade).

Late spring and summer birthdays are difficult issues for males in the K-12 years in terms of socialization. The worst period for that is junior high and high school, just as hormones are kicking in. You're correct that this is an issue for neurotypicals in many cases.

A lot of parents of boys now have more awareness of that issue. In the 1980s-early 2000s, the Boomer parents of Millennial children had less awareness of it and it set up many difficult social situations. It's getting more common to hold boys back a grade with late spring and summer birthdays in order to give them a social advantage in the school years. This trend didn't start until the 2000s decade.

Late spring and summer birthdays aren't meaningful for females.

I've mentioned on the forum before there was only one girl in all of high school where I heard through the grapevine she was into me. She was a grade below me (which makes your case of how dudes with summer birthdays often need to dip down to lower grades if they want to get a girl). I wasn't into her (so I never ended up dating her)

Boys on the younger side of their grade levels have no choice but to dip into lower grades in high school. That is first possible in 10th grade but becomes more realistic in 11th and 12th grades.

In high school, all students have the most exposure to their own grade level through classes. It takes a little more effort to dip into lower grades. It would happen through the combination of extracurricular activities and maybe random approaching in the lunchroom, hallways, or outside on campus.

Come college, I had a number of factors working against me. In addition to the summer baby thing and the autism thing, freshman girls are (as you pointed out) desired by all straight dudes in college (which puts a freshman dude at a disadvantage). It also didn't help that my clique my freshman year was male-heavy (and the only 2 girls in the clique had boyfriends)

Freshman year was a real kick in the testicles for me.

I had partially selected my college based on its social scene and reputation for attractive women. I had been intending to make my mark as a seducer there.

I quickly realized that it was going to be more difficult than I had anticipated that it would be. I didn't want to be left at a disadvantage so freshman year is when I turned to the internet and first discovered seduction content online from creators like Doc Love, David DeAngelo, and others. I immersed myself in both pickup materials and sex technique content so that I would be good at sex. My academic grades suffered somewhat due to my focus on pickup/sex content and going to parties to practice the art of attraction/seduction.

In college, the game became easier as I got to know more from online content and aged into the sophomore-senior grade levels.

My freshman year also happened in one of the more awkward years in USA history. Early in my freshman year, 9/11 happened. 9/11 dampened the mood somewhat. In general, USA residents felt less safe after 9/11. While there were still parties during my freshman year, there was still an uneasy feeling, even in a college bubble that wasn't near the World Trade Center in New York or the Pentagon in Washington DC. It took some time for people to feel safer again and I started to notice the mood brightening later in sophomore year. Things were definitely better in junior year (2003-04), which was 2+ years later.