Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Is getting married for betas?

Stoic Warrior

New Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2021
Messages
8
Reaction score
1
I think that by getting married the man is officially acknowledging his submission to the woman. What do you think about it?
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
1,155
Reaction score
1,554
Age
35
It's neither alpha or beta to be married. It is just that appropriate, masculine frame is very difficult to maintain over the course of many years with the same woman. Most men who are married tend to be blue-pilled and don't recognize the signs of failing frame. Many men, myself included, were not red-pilled when we were married. The divorce was the impetus behind trying to find out how to avoid that situation ever happening again. That is when I, along with many other divorced men, stumbled upon this site -- which was a revelation. Red pill is the key to understanding women, not just in marriage but in life generally.

Would I get married again? Not sure. What I can say is that my mindset in how I maintained myself would be much different than it was during my first marriage. I certainly don't think I would be "beta" just because I got married again. Although I would strongly consider a pre-nup.
 

Stoic Warrior

New Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2021
Messages
8
Reaction score
1
I think it's alpha not to be afraid to stop being with a woman and that it's beta to give in to marry to maintain the relationship. The question is whether it's worth being in a betaized relationship ...
 

Zimbabwe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
517
Reaction score
640
Age
25
I think it's alpha not to be afraid to stop being with a woman and that it's beta to give in to marry to maintain the relationship. The question is whether it's worth being in a betaized relationship ...
It depends on why a man chooses to get married in the first place, if it's because he wants a good environment for his children then i don't see that as beta but if he marries her because he thinks he has no other options that is very beta.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
14,588
Reaction score
6,981
It's neither alpha or beta to be married.
I agree with this. I think community guys are putting far too much importance on women when they define alpha and beta status by such things. The vast majority of powerful, ruling, wealthy, masterful men in history have been married. They wanted a wife so they got one. Who is going to deny them? That doesn't necessarily mean they were faithful, but that's a discussion for another day.
 
Last edited:

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
1,928
Reaction score
1,427
Well I mean your potentially giving up the most high status part of your life, that being when your mid 30, between wealth and health your going to be attached to a negative sliding value in terms of man brain.

I don't think it's for Betas, in fact I don't really think it's for any man, what part of Marriage outside of family is for the man?
 

LoboSolitario

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2021
Messages
392
Reaction score
349
I don't think it's for Betas, in fact I don't really think it's for any man, what part of Marriage outside of family is for the man?
But isn't Rollo married twenty five years? and isn't he the "godfather of redpill"?

So logically, if we were to believe him, isn't is red pill and alpha to get married?

Said tongue in cheek
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
1,065
Reaction score
746
Age
33
Marriage is for PROVIDERS. Doesn't matter why you do it. One is choosing the provider role if they get married. The provider role consists of a lifetime of manipulation by the female, lackluster sex, infrequent sex, and being cheated on at some point. All while sacrificing resources. Then the lover gets her best sex for free with none of the manipulation. Why be the provider again? Plenty of kids being raised without married parents.
 

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
949
Reaction score
1,247
Any activity done to support your life's purpose and goal is red-pilled.

Marriage for the following purposes doesn't seem red-pilled:

Getting laid regularly
Pandering to society
Emotional support
Avoiding loneliness
Peer pressure

Marriage for the following purposes might be red pilled:

Raising kids right
Climbing the political ladder
Acquiring citizenship of another nation
Wealth (if she's like a billionaire)
Power (according to her, her family background)
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
14,588
Reaction score
6,981
So logically, if we were to believe him, isn't is red pill and alpha to get married?
When he was here, he was always saying that he was alpha.

I think guys here should keep in mind they are viewing marriage through the perspective of our current culture. Marriage, if done correctly, does bring good benefits - and that almost always includes building a family. And this may be news to people, but this is the absolute truth: Today's culture, morals, and values are completely up their own @ss. Everything is basically backwards.
 

Pan87

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
2,303
Reaction score
3,217
Age
34
Awaiting Pan87’s response….
Haha I was literally just typing one.

Maybe framing Marriage in a different way helps us to see the truth.

Imagine a woman said she didn't want to get married, and was happy to raise kids with you without State involvement. Do you think that you, as a man, would be very nervous about raising kids without State protections and guarantees? I'd assume not.

Framed this way, it's easy to see how marriage is primarily for female benefit within the current legal paradigm. So, if marriage is for women and you're doing it for her benefit, while sacrificing your own interests, then it's pretty easy to see that marriage is Beta.
 

Zimbabwe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
517
Reaction score
640
Age
25
I agree with this. I think community guys are putting far too much importance on women when they define alpha and beta status by such things. The vast majority of powerful, ruling, wealthy, masterful men in history have been married. They wanted a wife so they got one. Who is going to deny them? That doesn't necessarily mean they were faithful, but that's a discussion for another day.
Exactly, I don't think anyone would call Genghis Khan a beta male for getting married.

IMG_20191020_211920_589.jpg
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
2,598
Reaction score
2,655
Any activity done to support your life's purpose and goal is red-pilled.

Marriage for the following purposes doesn't seem red-pilled:

Getting laid regularly
Pandering to society
Emotional support
Avoiding loneliness
Peer pressure
These are the reasons most men get married. Most men get laid within extended relationships. Most men are fearful about their vagina source going away and facing a sexual drought, bad dates, tough nights out at bars cold approaching, swiping like a maniac, etc.

A lot of men feel bad when they going to a social function at someone's home and they are not attached and everyone else is. This happens a lot to 30s/40s men.

Marriage for the following purposes might be red pilled:

Raising kids right
I think there are men who want to have kids and have their future kids raised in a two parents household. With that said, those men often exhibit the other more beta tendencies from above.

It's neither alpha or beta to be married. It is just that appropriate, masculine frame is very difficult to maintain over the course of many years with the same woman. Most men who are married tend to be blue-pilled and don't recognize the signs of failing frame. Many men, myself included, were not red-pilled when we were married.
I agree that it is neither alpha nor beta. The majority of married men are betas. However, a lot of unattached men are betas as well. A lot of unattached men are begging for scraps of vagina. Long sexual droughts are common from unattached men.

Marriage is for PROVIDERS. Doesn't matter why you do it. One is choosing the provider role if they get married. The provider role consists of a lifetime of manipulation by the female, lackluster sex, infrequent sex, and being cheated on at some point. All while sacrificing resources. Then the lover gets her best sex for free with none of the manipulation. Why be the provider again? Plenty of kids being raised without married parents.
Accurate.
 

LoboSolitario

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2021
Messages
392
Reaction score
349
When he was here, he was always saying that he was alpha.
Of course he was. Like many here they will define "alpha" in their own parametiers and funnily enough those paramiters seem to conveniently fit, who they are. Coincidence or not? Alpha nicely defined to fit who you are..

I said it once on here: I refuse to buy into the "alpha beta binary narrative" and of course the response I got was "said by a typical beta". Yeah sure pal. Masculinity is so much more complex than placing it into a two demensional characher.

I think guys here should keep in mind they are viewing marriage through the perspective of our current culture.
yes, it's certainly not viable right now.

Marriage, if done correctly, does bring good benefits - and that almost always includes building a family.
Totally. I have a sister married in '87. Wouldn't be surprised if her husband was her first. Oldest sister. Independent, loyal a little sensitive. Quiet family gill/woman. Husband may be seen as a "beta" here. Man is a brother to me. Hard worker, raised two phenomenal boys, manager of the local football team. Leader from what I can see. plenty of friends (both of them) two boys are well raised and they are both very masculine (22 and 18). youngest one is mad as a brush. Two great boys. no pushovers.

Brother, married since I don't know what year. Brother was an absolute rascal growing up. I reckon the marriage stopped him from going down the wrong path. He was out hanging doing nothing, smoking playing cards. don't know how he seduced that woman. Woman from a good family. Did she tame the bad boy? I don't know. They have five kids now. 3 beasts of boys all over 6 foot. Two lovely girls. All with character.

They have a beautiful thing. I can 100% guarantee there is no cheating spouse. (in fact the closest I have seen coming to cheating was my brother in the early days, not the women.)

Today's culture, morals, and values are completely up their own @ss. Everything is basically backwards.
Totally my man. This is what' wrong. It's not the institution of marriage. it's people's warped persepctive and behavior
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
14,588
Reaction score
6,981
Exactly, I don't think anyone would call Genghis Khan a beta male for getting married.
What's the PUA view on polygamy? If a man has 20 wives is he still a beta? Is he a beta times 20?

Totally. I have a sister married in '87. Wouldn't be surprised if her husband was her first. Oldest sister. Independent, loyal a little sensitive. Quiet family gill/woman. Husband may be seen as a "beta" here.
The problem is "beta" is seen as an insult around here. And it could be, depending on how severely you define it. But I've always thought being an upper level beta carries a lot of the benefits of the alpha while evading some of the pitfalls. But I agree with you, I don't buy into the labels too much. They're mostly only useful for teaching certain principles.
 

Raasay

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2021
Messages
16
Reaction score
2
Age
30
Not possible to generalize this, if you have a high quality girl and you have a good longterm relationship with her it is not bad to get married and I'd say being "alpha" is an imperative if you want to have a sustainable good relationship with such a woman. There are other cases apparently...
 
Top