"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Is counseling a waste of time?

amoka

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Anybody else feel counseling is a waste of time. I am not quite sure why I need to go but these days I have not been my best self. It is free for me and I can go as many times as I would. Would you take advantage of the fact that the sh!t is free or is a complete waste of time.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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sodbuster

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I went to marriage counseling,but it didn't help-my wife wasn't qwilling to change. If the person isn't willing to change,counseling wont help
 

amoka

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sodbuster said:
I went to marriage counseling,but it didn't help-my wife wasn't qwilling to change. If the person isn't willing to change,counseling wont help
This is just for personal help. No other party is involved.
 

prairiedog24

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It can be very beneficial or very much a waste of time. Depends on you, and your therapist. Probably doesn't hurt to give it a good faith shot if you really want something to change. Like somebody else said though, your therapist can't make you do anything, you have to want it yourself. Think of them more like an athletic coach and less like a doctor.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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guywhoneedshelp

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amoka said:
Anybody else feel counseling is a waste of time. I am not quite sure why I need to go but these days I have not been my best self. It is free for me and I can go as many times as I would. Would you take advantage of the fact that the sh!t is free or is a complete waste of time.
I think the therapy aspect of it is a complete load. However, it does feel good to get stuff of my chest.

Although I have been to a therapist to get things off my chest, I often held back certain things and have been more expressive to friends, and girls I'm close to. A lot of stuff in my life, such as family issues, bother me and I often like to talk about them. I find that when I get close to a girl I begin to feel great because I get this stuff off my chest as we get to know each other.

Counseling can be good but so can be just talking to a friend.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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I have found that one on one couseling can be very helpful in increasing self-awareness, developing an improvement plan, and implicating it. If you walk in thinking it's going to be a waste of time you won't get the full benefit of it. :)
 

kraytkiller

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The effectiveness of seeing a shrink or a counselor mostly depends on you, and how willing you are to confess personal things to the...Doctor... and take their advice, and try to change yourself.

If you go in there completely closed off and unwilling to tell them anything personal...It's going to be a waste of time. Same as if you go in there and ignore everything they say.

But if you go in with an open mind and ready to confess some stuff, it usually works rather well...

Ofcourse I imagine the doctor could maybe suck, but I haven't heard of that scenario. Lol.
 

amoka

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Great I just made the appointment for tomorrow and was given a choice of being counseled by a male or a female. I selected a male because if he is not good, I can fire him and select a female counselor. The funny thing is that I have no clue what to discuss with them. We'll see how things go.
 

Mr_rogers

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I think that counseling has something for everyone, but only if the "patient" is willing to listen and take the time. There are lots of normal, successful people that see a professional just to keep their heads clear. The best thing about seeing a pro is that there doesn't have to be any secrets between you and them, barring if you've done something highly illegal or whatever.

Few people have the luxury of knowing someone that they can be truly honest with. That's where a pro can be handy.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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amoka

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My first "session" was just over and I feel pretty better about things. I was not expecting much from it but it is unbelievable how good I felt after spending an hour talking to someone about nothing. After the initial screening, he said I am wayyyy normal than many people that he has seen. Heck, I have nothing. But I frankly enjoy talking to him about sh!ts in my private life and since it is FREE, I scheduled another appoint for next week... just an hour a session. I don't know if I should change him to a female counselor yet... maybe few more sessions.
 
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