"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Is counseling a waste of time?

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
Anybody else feel counseling is a waste of time. I am not quite sure why I need to go but these days I have not been my best self. It is free for me and I can go as many times as I would. Would you take advantage of the fact that the sh!t is free or is a complete waste of time.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
373
Age
67
Location
South Dakota
I went to marriage counseling,but it didn't help-my wife wasn't qwilling to change. If the person isn't willing to change,counseling wont help
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
sodbuster said:
I went to marriage counseling,but it didn't help-my wife wasn't qwilling to change. If the person isn't willing to change,counseling wont help
This is just for personal help. No other party is involved.
 

prairiedog24

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
298
Reaction score
13
It can be very beneficial or very much a waste of time. Depends on you, and your therapist. Probably doesn't hurt to give it a good faith shot if you really want something to change. Like somebody else said though, your therapist can't make you do anything, you have to want it yourself. Think of them more like an athletic coach and less like a doctor.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

guywhoneedshelp

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2008
Messages
646
Reaction score
8
amoka said:
Anybody else feel counseling is a waste of time. I am not quite sure why I need to go but these days I have not been my best self. It is free for me and I can go as many times as I would. Would you take advantage of the fact that the sh!t is free or is a complete waste of time.
I think the therapy aspect of it is a complete load. However, it does feel good to get stuff of my chest.

Although I have been to a therapist to get things off my chest, I often held back certain things and have been more expressive to friends, and girls I'm close to. A lot of stuff in my life, such as family issues, bother me and I often like to talk about them. I find that when I get close to a girl I begin to feel great because I get this stuff off my chest as we get to know each other.

Counseling can be good but so can be just talking to a friend.
 

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
336
Reaction score
5
I have found that one on one couseling can be very helpful in increasing self-awareness, developing an improvement plan, and implicating it. If you walk in thinking it's going to be a waste of time you won't get the full benefit of it. :)
 

kraytkiller

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
192
Reaction score
8
The effectiveness of seeing a shrink or a counselor mostly depends on you, and how willing you are to confess personal things to the...Doctor... and take their advice, and try to change yourself.

If you go in there completely closed off and unwilling to tell them anything personal...It's going to be a waste of time. Same as if you go in there and ignore everything they say.

But if you go in with an open mind and ready to confess some stuff, it usually works rather well...

Ofcourse I imagine the doctor could maybe suck, but I haven't heard of that scenario. Lol.
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
Great I just made the appointment for tomorrow and was given a choice of being counseled by a male or a female. I selected a male because if he is not good, I can fire him and select a female counselor. The funny thing is that I have no clue what to discuss with them. We'll see how things go.
 

Mr_rogers

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
485
Reaction score
5
Location
Ontario, Canada
I think that counseling has something for everyone, but only if the "patient" is willing to listen and take the time. There are lots of normal, successful people that see a professional just to keep their heads clear. The best thing about seeing a pro is that there doesn't have to be any secrets between you and them, barring if you've done something highly illegal or whatever.

Few people have the luxury of knowing someone that they can be truly honest with. That's where a pro can be handy.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,931
Reaction score
62
My first "session" was just over and I feel pretty better about things. I was not expecting much from it but it is unbelievable how good I felt after spending an hour talking to someone about nothing. After the initial screening, he said I am wayyyy normal than many people that he has seen. Heck, I have nothing. But I frankly enjoy talking to him about sh!ts in my private life and since it is FREE, I scheduled another appoint for next week... just an hour a session. I don't know if I should change him to a female counselor yet... maybe few more sessions.
 
Top