"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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is alcohol an essential for the first date ?

Bingo-Player

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so I've got a date with a potential new plate this week a cute HB 7 from what i can tell from pictures although she looks like she could have potential for a higher rating .....time will tell

I've not been able to do the whole "first date" thing much over this last year as
all my plates have been social circle plates and i knew them pretty well before dating anyway

this chick has popped up out of nowhere so I'm a little undecided as to what to do for the first date

its a toss between a civilised coffee or a full blown session on the booze

i know which ones more likely to get me sex at the end, but I've been doing so fvcking well "drying out" from alcohol over the last 6 weeks I'm not sure i want to break from my sobriety :down:

my question is does anyone have any experiences of escalating a non alcohol fuelled first date into sex or into a nice amount of physical contact ? :rolleyes:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Tictac

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If you're using alcohol as a crutch to get laid, that's about as beta as it gets.

By your logic, you'll be justifying roofies.

I've gotten laid plenty without any alcohol involved and I've been doing it for decades.

If you want an excuse to drink, find a better one.
 

Zarky

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eh, I disagree. All my first dates involve alcohol. Lets her know what I'm after and lets me know if she's willing to provide. If she insists on coffee or some sh*t, I next her. Drunken sex is the best (and, indeed, the only good) ending to a first date, IMHO.
 

Comatozed

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I disagree.

Why make it harder for yourself?

Even if you're/she's not drunk, the fact you've been drinking can help her justify sleeping with you if she's that kind of girl. Plus, I have more fun when I'm drunk no matter what I'm doing, it's not a case of it being a 'crutch' it's a case of having fun.
 

RedBear

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Are you saying your game is not good enough to pick up a woman who is not drunk?

Comatozed said:
Why make it harder for yourself?
Because you want to improve your game. Also it doesn't seem like OP actually wants to drink.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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logicallefty

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Alcohol is OK on first dates in moderation but in your case if you are trying to stay sober I would stick with that. Take her to a bar and let her drink and just order a Coke. If she asks why you aren't drinking just say "I need to stay sober in case you get all crazy and attack me".
 

yoyoing

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Alcohol is good on first date !
I usually just drink 1-2 drinks and if it goes really well I had an extra one.
To me alchohol is just a short circuit to quicker sex !
You probably can do well without it but girl are often shy even if they like you a lot and alcohol loosen them up.

That said . Location is the key . Please find a nice place where you can sit side by side and not some awkward half packed location .
 

VladPatton

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Do coffee...it's cheaper. Save the alcohol for the next few dates when you know she's on her way to Fuxville.
 

Bingo-Player

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Tictac said:
If you're using alcohol as a crutch to get laid, that's about as beta as it gets.

By your logic, you'll be justifying roofies.

I've gotten laid plenty without any alcohol involved and I've been doing it for decades.

If you want an excuse to drink, find a better one.
LMAO woah now cowboy where did i say I'm using alcohol as a crutch to get laid :crazy:

all i asked was does anyone have any experiences in getting physical with a chick ON THE FIRST DATE without it

unfortunatley in modern society people simply feel more comfortable about casual sex when alcohol is involved this is no secret even more so in a high pressured social set like a first date

i actually like lefty's idea of letting her drink and attempting to keep sober :up:
 

LMFAO

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Yes you can get a kiss after a coffee date if all goes well, it's fairly straight forward and I've done it on occasion.

That said a date at a bar with alcohol is usually the ideal for a first date. The girl has an excuse to "let her hair down" and you can get much closer to her, and possibly bang her. For online dates this is usually the way to go.

If you are looking for an LTR they are both fine, for a fvck buddy going for a coffee gives off the wrong vibe. That's my opinion.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Comatozed

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I only had one coffee first date. got her back to mine but lmr hit pretty hard. It was strange scenario as it was like 2pm on a week day and my flatmates were in so she probably didn't wanna **** cos of a few reasons.

I reckon if it's a friday night and she's drunk we ****.
 

usernamedox11

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alcohol is the number #1 antidote for last minute resistance/anti-slut defense.

Don't make it harder on yourself, and forget the beta/alpha nonsense. What matters is getting laid if that is your goal.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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