Invited to a FWB's birthday- advice appreciated

[OnTheWayUp]

Hey all,

I was planning on hooking up with my semi-regular FWB this evening, and sent her a text suggesting we meet at mine. It's her 21st birthday today and I know she's not planning on celebrating in a big way for a while, so tbh I thought it would be a good opportunity to take her v-card. She's counter-offered by inviting me to a casual birthday thing in her flat instead. I really don't know whether I should accept or not.

For going:

-I like this girl, it would be fun and a good way to socialise and meet new people.
-Comes across as a bit of a d1ck move to imply I'm free this evening and then not show up.
-The girl likes me and would be pretty pissed if I don't show up. I'm sure she expects me to come.
-If I can isolate my girl at the end, I have a very high chance of taking her v-card as it's her 21st birthday.

Against going:

-I want to get laid, not make polite conversation with randomers for a couple of hours.
-She's just sent me an invite to the event for her bday on FB- I literally know no-one else in her social circle apart from her. It's social suicide going to a house party where you don't know anyone.
-I could just be like "I fancied doing something a bit more chilled this evening, see you round." This gets round the awkwardness of suggesting we meet and then not showing up at her party.
-I am not pursuing a relationship with this girl. I want to be the guy she gets physical with rather than a friend she hangs out with and introduces to other friends.
-I will not be able to hit on any of her friends or get their numbers for obvious reasons.
-This feels like an audition for her friends.
-Her flat might be quite messy at the end of the night, she will probably have to tidy up. This is not conducive to sexytimes.
-I have other options I can invite out for a drink if need be.


Need to make a decision in the next 4 hours, all advice appreciated.

 

[st_99]

I always assumed FWB meant you already boned her. I don't get it.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I always assumed FWB meant you already boned her. I don't get it.

It's the best word I can think of to describe her. We've done everything else besides penetrative sex, and have been seeing each other for 2 months with a 1 month break for uni holidays in between.

Call her a plate if you want, it's besides the point. Should I go?

 

[don.dd]

It's the best word I can think of to describe her. We've done everything else besides penetrative sex, and have been seeing each other for 2 months with a 1 month break for uni holidays in between.

Call her a plate if you want, it's besides the point. Should I go?

Go, but get there really late.

 

[Zerro]

It's social suicide going to a house party where you don't know anyone.

You know the host and that's all that counts. It's a good opportunity to meet new people and since you do know someone there you're a bit less of a stranger.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Ok, the general consensus seems to be that I should go, and my player friend at uni agrees, so I'll go.

Do I aim to wait until everyone else has gone and then do her, or leave early and tell her to come over when the party's over? Bear in mind that the party won't be able to go on past midnight because we live in uni accomodation. Also bear in mind that she lives 5 mins away from me.

 

[Mike32ct]

This is a tough one. I've been thinking about this for a bit.

I think it would be a d@ck move to blow her off on her birthday. Tell her you'll be there but it will probably be a little later.

Do you know roughly how late the party will last?


Arrive late and stay "to help clean up."

While clean up isn't sexy, you CAN score that way. One of my female coworkers has lots of parties. This guy in the office always "stayed to help clean up" and he kept his car hidden in her garage rather than driveway. I finally figured out that they've been hooking up for a year.

The reason I suggest arriving late is so she will miss you and you won't be hanging on her all night. There is always a tradeoff though. Some other sausage vulture will probably be trying to game her when you arrive. But if you are already in with this bird, you should be able to politely blow him out and still be a gentleman.

 

[Mike32ct]

Alternatively, and maybe better yet, arrive early but spend most of the night talking to dudes. You keep them occupied and look social and non-needy to the girls. Stay late and clean up. My player coworker does this plan exactly.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

This is a tough one. I've been thinking about this for a bit.

I think it would be a d@ck move to blow her off on her birthday. Tell her you'll be there but it will probably be a little later.

Do you know roughly how late the party will last?


Arrive late and stay "to help clean up."

While clean up isn't sexy, you CAN score that way. One of my female coworkers has lots of parties. This guy in the office always "stayed to help clean up" and he kept his car hidden in her garage rather than driveway. I finally figured out that they've been hooking up for a year.

The reason I suggest arriving late is so she will miss you and you won't be hanging on her all night. There is always a tradeoff though. Some other sausage vulture will probably be trying to game her when you arrive. But if you are already in with this bird, you should be able to politely blow him out and still be a gentleman.

This sounds like a solid plan. It strikes the balance between being nice and getting what I want very well. I'm confident that I can outgame any competition, and if things go badly I'm going to a great party tomorrow where there will be plenty of new girls.

The uni accomodation officers normally shut down loud parties some time between 11-12, unless you rent private housing (which is much more expensive). The party officially starts at 8:30, which means I reckon I'll aim to get there between 9:30 and 10.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Update:

I went at about 9:30 and got subtley told I should have arrived earlier by my hostess- perfect. By about 00:30 everyone had gone, but I stuck around to "help clear up." I then took my sleepy, tipsy girl to bed, where we did... everything that we usually do.

I wimped out, I'm so annoyed at myself. I don't know what came over me, but I said that she could decide when she wants to have sex, as it's her first time. She said she wanted it to be with me, but that I was too tired (true, I was exhausted yesterday). The evening was fun, but I think I was too nice to her.

 

[idk575]

You're trying to do FWB with a virgin.. you're in for a ruuuude awakening