Interesting situation

[Dem]

So guys there is this girl who is doing a master with me. Now she is breaking up with her boyfriend and 2 days ago we had a party at my place. After a while, everyone left but she and another friend. She was on my bed, pretending to sleep and after a while, my friend went home. I brushed my teeth and then head back to my room but she woke up and she said she had to leave. I told her that she could stay and we could have watched something but she wanted to leave. Tonight we had a dinner just me her and another friend. I left and she was spending time with her flatmate (male). I actually don't give a **** about her but I am interested by the situation. Do you think she might be interested or that she is just playing with me?

 

[Billtx49]

Both interactions you with her you mention speak of her and Another friend, one of which was male. You’ll get your answer when you ask her out one on one…

 

[Dem]

Thanks for the reply dude. I have already invited her once for a coffee, she didn't seemed too keen but in the end she accepted. But I'm the end I have cancelled it because I didn't feel it. So I don't know she will accept but as a friend

 

[Billtx49]

You invited her for coffee, she accepted, you canceled. Why are you asking about that…
Find a woman you’re interested in enough to not cancel on her after Your ask.

 

[Billtx49]

Yep, you win some you lose some, but you can’t score if you don’t play in the game.
Read the DJ Bible OP.

 

[Dem]

Thanks guys. I will write a field report after I have escalated

 

[Dem]

Update: I tried to set up a lunch at the park because today is sunny but nothing. Case closed.

 

[Glassguy]

Just a thought-

how would random people on the internet every be able to accurately answer "Does she like me"????

Seriously- ASK HER OUT.

Failure to make a move is probably the #1 mistake men make.

 

[Glassguy]

Excellent point....but, he's made a move, and she seems to prefer not to be alone with him. Red flag. Still, there's never enough background...nor could there ever be. Telling a guy to be direct, though, is easier when they aren't asking how to pickup on their classmate or co-worker. That's more of a sh itting where you eat situation.

I do agree with your statement. There have been opportunities for HER to make a move though and not him.

At this point its probably game over and him asking her out at this point is probably a sinking ship.

He is in the FZ (friend zone).

 

[nicksaiz65]

I do agree with your statement. There have been opportunities for HER to make a move though and not him.

At this point its probably game over and him asking her out at this point is probably a sinking ship.

He is in the FZ (friend zone).

Would you say that more guys end up in the friendzone due to a lack of physical attraction(she's just using him for attention) or a lack of escalation/game(she was initially interested, but then the guy screwed up and acted like a friend, therefore turning her off)?

 

[Glassguy]

Would you say that more guys end up in the friendzone due to a lack of physical attraction(she's just using him for attention) or a lack of escalation/game(she was initially interested, but then the guy screwed up and acted like a friend, therefore turning her off)?

Having balls is great, but a ballsy creep is still a creep.

This is a good answer to the question above.

Attraction is everything. If a woman isnt SEXUALLY attracted to you it will be friend zone.

If she is sexually attracted to you, only then can you screw it up by not making a move. The reason for this is that attraction has a shelf life.

 

[Atom Smasher]

So many threads on this forum are starting to look like they were written by women.

Truth. This is becoming a serious problem. I’m seeing this more and more.

Lots of good advice in this thread. Too bad it will get lost because of the plain vanilla thread title.

 

[Dem]

Lots of good advice in this thread. Too bad it will get lost because of the plain vanilla thread title.

True, I have learnt a lot from you guys. Hope to be successful next time

 

[Atom Smasher]

Good to hear my man.

 

[tony.shai]

This is why I always preach social environment game.

I think a lot of guys (me included) have the difficulty of showing interest/escalating when in your social circle. What recently happens to me is I find a girl interesting after we talk for a while (say we have mutual friends and we meet at parties), then I ask her out, get LJBF'd. Never happens outside social circle though. I guess I'm failing to build tension or I give off friendly vibe, but I'm afraid that I might come off as the guy who hits on all the girls. Do you have some tips on how to show interest in the girl without coming off as a player in your social circle?

 

[Glassguy]

I think a lot of guys (me included) have the difficulty of showing interest/escalating when in your social circle. What recently happens to me is I find a girl interesting after we talk for a while (say we have mutual friends and we meet at parties), then I ask her out, get LJBF'd. Never happens outside social circle though. I guess I'm failing to build tension or I give off friendly vibe, but I'm afraid that I might come off as the guy who hits on all the girls. Do you have some tips on how to show interest in the girl without coming off as a player in your social circle?

You first need to isolate her. Drop the "friendly guy" look. Instead be direct.

After you talk to a chick for a little bit, put your number in her phone and text yourself. Save your number in her phone as "Fun guy" or something similar.

You should never ask a chick out on DATE while you are out at a social gathering. Its too eager.

Instead get her number, wait a day or two and then hit her up.

You: Hey whats up
Her: Hey there. How are you?
You: I'm good. I am going to check out this new place Thursday night and grab a drink. Why dont you join me.

Its either a yes and or no. Yes= offer to PICK HER UP. If she doesnt want you to pick her up, tell her what time to meet you there.

if no, move on.

Then you see her when you pick her up or when you meet her there.

Its that simple.

You are too eager man. Play it cool. You should have stuff going on in your life. Asking a woman out when you first hang out in a group setting is not good. Women are out in group settings to chill and hang out with friends. Get the number and hit her up in a few days = value.

 

[tony.shai]

You first need to isolate her. Drop the "friendly guy" look. Instead be direct.

After you talk to a chick for a little bit, put your number in her phone and text yourself. Save your number in her phone as "Fun guy" or something similar.

You should never ask a chick out on DATE while you are out at a social gathering. Its too eager.

Instead get her number, wait a day or two and then hit her up.

You: Hey whats up
Her: Hey there. How are you?
You: I'm good. I am going to check out this new place Thursday night and grab a drink. Why dont you join me.

Its either a yes and or no. Yes= offer to PICK HER UP. If she doesnt want you to pick her up, tell her what time to meet you there.

if no, move on.

Then you see her when you pick her up or when you meet her there.

Its that simple.

You are too eager man. Play it cool. You should have stuff going on in your life. Asking a woman out when you first hang out in a group setting is not good. Women are out in group settings to chill and hang out with friends. Get the number and hit her up in a few days = value.

What I meant by is asking for her number and get LJBF'd straight out, sorry. But very good points. I'm trying to get better at that, because I happen to meet a LOT of decent chicks through my mutual friends but it almost never works out. I guess I'm more outcome independent when outside social circle. Thanks for your input man.

 

[dude99]

Would you say that more guys end up in the friendzone due to a lack of physical attraction(she's just using him for attention) or a lack of escalation/game(she was initially interested, but then the guy screwed up and acted like a friend, therefore turning her off)?

They wind up in the friendzone 100% because of her interest level. If a girl has high interest she will chase you. She will contact you. She will make it easy for you even if you show no interest and dont escalate. She will accept the challenge and in her mind the dance will begin. You must reciprocate the dance because Eventually she will give up and friend zone you if you never reciprocate.

An AW or not attracted to you woman will put you in the friendzone and jack you around feeding you false hope whether you escalate or not.

 

[tony.shai]

I think you are confusing game with interest. If women are highly interested, they will seduce you. Your only game would be to not mess up. Right now, you are trying to escalate on women who aren't interested. It has nothing to do with your game. Whether you escalate or not, whether you find THEM interesting or not makes no difference. They are not interested and that's the end of the story.

What you can do is keep improving. Keep working out. And keep wearing tighter shirts, lol. Focus on your career, develop passionate hobbies, and it will all come together eventually. Probably when you least expect it to.

Remember, when women in your social circles are interested, THEY will seduce you. They are the real seducers.

So what you mean is I should stay static in a sense and just have fun around, without flirting etc. and let them initiate everything? Also, does this mean that I should pretty much assume that you cannot generate attraction in a woman, and it's either there or not? Sorry if I'm asking a stupid question, I really respect your way of thinking from what I read so far in your posts in the forum, just want to make sure I get everything right.

 

[tony.shai]

Great ideas, I literally had no idea about that. I understand you now, the windows analogy was great.

There's probably a million shades of social calibration that I can talk about when it comes to social circle game. I can probably write a book. But I won't do that. I'll just tell you that seduction is a "dance." Both parties participate. Neither is static. You read and react accordingly.

I'd be very interested if you could point me to a post/book/material where you read these lol. I guess it happens automatically with experience, but I'd rather have a quick boost.

However, you cannot violate the law of high interest. She must initiate by giving you a sign. This is even more so important in a social circle. You don't want to be a raging bull knocking everything over. She'll look at you like you've never been in a social circle before. Or you've never hooked up with someone discreetly before.

You put that very well. I think this is my mistake and I finally understood what you mean. So I suppose I'm looking like the guy who can't read signs when I get LJBF'd by low interest woman. It means I am going after them without them giving me a sign and just because I'm interested in them, and now the outcome seems predictable. What could be more signs to look for? I'm speaking from the perspective of a guy who is kind of late bloomer with women, especially going out to closed parties etc., was never a party guy before. I suspect it'll be useful for other people too.

Thanks again for the amazing post, I love your explanations!