"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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interesting little problem

bluesteel106

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hey guys, i'm kind of in a weird little problem. so theres this website called nexopia, and basically you can put pictures of yourself and have a profile and you can make comments on your friends pages and what not. anyways i went to this one girls page and she's just smokin hot. she doesnt go to the same school as me but she lives in the same town. anyways so i've left her a couple of comments and stuff nothing major. but i want to try and increase the attraction. so here's my plan:

on her profile she said she likes MAC, which is a makeup kit thing. but what i'm going to try, is mistake MAC for the Macintosh computer and then try to be ****y and funny by saying she's a nerd and stuff. anyways my comment will look something like this

hey (girls name) hows it goin? i was looking at your profile and thats kinda interesting your into MAC. you dont see girls like you into the whole computers thing. do you play dungeons and dragons too? man the nerds must think your like the holy grail of all girls. they're probably like "man she's hotter than Princess Leia and Xena combined and she likes computers!" i guess that explains why your so pale.....anyways have a good weekend!

what do you guys think? too ****y not enough funny? any suggestions? thanks a lot.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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bluesteel106

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yeah it does seem a little on the offensive side, i'll have to revise it. thanks for the help.
 

bluesteel106

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hmmm so do you think i should scrap the whole idea then? because i definately dont want to insult her.
 

LikRetsam

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Number. Call.

Internet.Chumps.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Zaine

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I actually agree with Liktenstein for once. Wow.:eek:
 
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