You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dumbass. Two cyber slaps upside the head for your general pvssyness, and lame a$$ excuses.wutangfinancial said:I have had numerous girls say they want to be physically attracted to me, but they can't do it. They want to be my friends, and want to be in a relationship with me, but a taller, better looking me that arouses them.
who cares what a 90 year old grandma on a dating site thinks?ricorico said:
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Well this is good.wutangfinancial said:I dunno. I go out in into the field constantly. I have no approach anxiety anymore. I can ask for a number without caring about the answer. That's more than a lot of guys. But I can't make a girl sexually attracted to me. Again, it might be something in my actions I'm just not aware. In any case, I don't know what else I can do. I kind of want somebody w/a lot of success to watch me and say what I did wrong. I wish this site had a video feature.
For real though, I'm NOT just sitting and feeling sorry for myself, even if my posts on here make it look like that. I'd be willing to video record myself in the field and let the masters tare me to pieces on my technique. No problem. Hows that for cajones?
Your anxiety is getting in the way of showing them your intellect, and your sad state gets in the way of your humor!! There is no way around this unless you take the pressure off of yourself "to get a girl"- it is only leading you to more depression!!! And the cycle continues!wutangfinancial said:Greatest strength? Intellect, ...BTW, my greatest weakness-depression. Anxiety. OCD. .
I can remember when that's happened to me too.wutangfinancial said:yep, even at 65, she still puts looks as her main priority. I get yelled at when I get real with people on here, but reality isn't all warm and mushy. If you're short and unnatractive, it just ain't gonna happen for you.
You cannot hate women for it. Hate your genetics, hate chance, but don't blame women, which is what most guys here do. It's not that women are trying to act too good for you. In a lot of cases, they want to be attracted to you. But you can't force physical attraction. I have had numerous girls say they want to be physically attracted to me, but they can't do it. They want to be my friends, and want to be in a relationship with me, but a taller, better looking me that arouses them.
And that's where this whole nice guys finish last stuff is misguided...being nice isn't a turn off. Being ugly is. Most ugly people are nice. Thus, when labeled a "nice" guy, it's a euphimism for sexually unnattractive. A mean ugly person will have no friends, and no girls.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Like when a woman acts really shy and nervously touches herself when she's close to you because you radiate an aura of sexuality. Igniting her sexuality with your mere presence will excite her. That's something you want to stir in women.Interceptor said:Be the "sexual threat".
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
So, in spite of your earlier proclamations to the contrary, you are now conceding, as obvious, “Women always prefer the more handsome, masculine man”?SickAgain said:Half of what you're saying is wrong, the other half you're just stating the obvious. I'll break it down by paragraph: 1-O 2-W 3-W 4-W 5-O.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.