"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

interested girl, then nothing...

pyros

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I met this girl around 1.5 months ago while dancing salsa. Talked to her for 1 minute, got her number etc.
A few days later I texted her and she seemed not very enthusiastic, giving me short answers etc, so I did not even ask her out.

A month later she texted me out of the blue. This time she seemed excited. We talked, blah blah and SHE suggested to go to grab a coffee sometime cause I told her I was having a coffee with a friend, so she used that line.
That was Friday evening so I told her to meet next Sunday at 19:00, she agreed and seemed pretty excited about it.

Then on Sunday at 15:00 she texted me to tell me that unfortunately she had to work so we could not meet, but she wanted to meet some other time to grab dinner or something. "I said ok no problem some other time".

Then the next day Monday she texted me in the morning. We talked a bit, she sent me a pic of herself helping a salsa teacher, etc. We flirted a bit and since she seemed so interested in me, I asked her out for next Wednesday. She replied that she was pretty busy that day. I suggested Tuesday and then she started to complicate things. It went something like this:

her: Wednesday I will be pretty busy
me: ok, what about Tuesday at 21:00?
her: I have salsa class at 22:00 on Tuesday. What about we have a coffee and then you come to my salsa class to try it?
me: I go to learn salsa somewhere else, so I am not that interested in trying a new place. Maybe some other time?
her: why not??
her: ok!!! it doesnt matter, we can meet to grab a drink one day this week.
me: good, Thursday at 21:00, ok?

-- NO REPLY --

It's been four days since this conversation happened. She hasn't contacted me, neither I have contacted her.

Thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Skyline

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You can continue answering her texts but keep them limited and don't go too in depth. But for now, stop asking her out. If she is truly interested she will ask you out in smaller ways, like visiting her at work or something.

She disappeared a month ago because she found someone else and he fell off for some reason. That's really the only reason an interested girl will disappear so fast, unless you shot yourself in the foot somehow within that time.

4 days of her not contacting you is a sign of low interest. Not saying she isn't interested in you, because she clearly is, it's just that it's low.
 

AllDay85

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I met this girl around 1.5 months ago while dancing salsa. Talked to her for 1 minute, got her number etc.
A few days later I texted her and she seemed not very enthusiastic, giving me short answers etc, so I did not even ask her out.

A month later she texted me out of the blue. This time she seemed excited. We talked, blah blah and SHE suggested to go to grab a coffee sometime cause I told her I was having a coffee with a friend, so she used that line.
That was Friday evening so I told her to meet next Sunday at 19:00, she agreed and seemed pretty excited about it.

Then on Sunday at 15:00 she texted me to tell me that unfortunately she had to work so we could not meet, but she wanted to meet some other time to grab dinner or something. "I said ok no problem some other time".

Then the next day Monday she texted me in the morning. We talked a bit, she sent me a pic of herself helping a salsa teacher, etc. We flirted a bit and since she seemed so interested in me, I asked her out for next Wednesday. She replied that she was pretty busy that day. I suggested Tuesday and then she started to complicate things. It went something like this:

her: Wednesday I will be pretty busy
me: ok, what about Tuesday at 21:00?
her: I have salsa class at 22:00 on Tuesday. What about we have a coffee and then you come to my salsa class to try it?
me: I go to learn salsa somewhere else, so I am not that interested in trying a new place. Maybe some other time?
her: why not??
her: ok!!! it doesnt matter, we can meet to grab a drink one day this week.
me: good, Thursday at 21:00, ok?

-- NO REPLY --

It's been four days since this conversation happened. She hasn't contacted me, neither I have contacted her.

Thoughts?
Based off my initial analysis, you're perhaps plate six in her lineup of hard ****. Talk to other women in the meantime. One's that show interest with their actions.
 

SgtSplacker

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Sounds like she just gets bored and starts using her phone. Unfortunately it's to communicate with you. Stop asking her to meet you places, tell her you are going to be somewhere and give her the option of meeting you there.
 

RangerMIke

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Normal female behavior. Don't worry about this one chick, just keep going out with other women. This has nothing to do with you, it's stuff going on in this girls life. You may have hit her up when she was in a break from a dude, then he got back in the picture.... and out again. This happens all the time. The only way not to let this drive you nuts is to date other women.... if you have a handful girls that you can call on then you can be assured that one or two of them are not in a flaky state of mind.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Trump

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That was Friday evening so I told her to meet next Sunday at 19:00, she agreed and seemed pretty excited about it.

Then on Sunday at 15:00 she texted me to tell me that unfortunately she had to work so we could not meet, but she wanted to meet some other time to grab dinner or something. "I said ok no problem some other time".

Then the next day Monday she texted me in the morning. We talked a bit, she sent me a pic of herself helping a salsa teacher, etc. We flirted a bit and since she seemed so interested in me, I asked her out for next Wednesday. She replied that she was pretty busy that day. I suggested Tuesday and then she started to complicate things. It went something like this:

her: Wednesday I will be pretty busy
me: ok, what about Tuesday at 21:00?
her: I have salsa class at 22:00 on Tuesday. What about we have a coffee and then you come to my salsa class to try it?
me: I go to learn salsa somewhere else, so I am not that interested in trying a new place. Maybe some other time?
her: why not??
her: ok!!! it doesnt matter, we can meet to grab a drink one day this week.
me: good, Thursday at 21:00, ok?

-- NO REPLY --

It's been four days since this conversation happened. She hasn't contacted me, neither I have contacted her.
Bro you are confusing her agenda with her interest level.

Why did you ask her out 4 times in a span in 40 seconds? And you put it in writing too. Now she will use your texts to get more presents and better sex from her boyfriend. You put yourself down too, telling her 'I really have no one else on the horizon.'

Brutal.
 

wifehunter

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Because ladies are so silly! That's why!!!
 

Yewki

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her: Wednesday I will be pretty busy
me: ok, what about Tuesday at 21:00?
her: I have salsa class at 22:00 on Tuesday. What about we have a coffee and then you come to my salsa class to try it?
me: I go to learn salsa somewhere else, so I am not that interested in trying a new place. Maybe some other time?
You definitely could have said that a lot... smoother. Plus, why did you decline the invite to her salsa class? What's so special about the one you go to?
 

salinechow

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Im shocked this question was even asked by OP. This is as obvious as the sun in the sky.
 

Lozboss

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OP turns down her date offer then wonders why she won't respond. DURRRR
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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