"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Inmates at no-smoking prison trade hostage for cigarettes

banGbro

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I dont usually post stuff like this, but this is too funny. :crackup:



AP said:
JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) -- Two inmates housed in a smoke-free prison traded a hostage for cigarettes after a six-hour standoff.

Billy Grubb, 32, and Bradley Johnson, 25, attacked the guard Monday night, said Howard Carlton, warden of the Northeast Correctional Complex.

"As the night progressed they started saying, 'Look, we'll give up if you let us have some tobacco. If you do that, we'll go back to our cell,"' Carlton said. "They got them some cigarettes, they smoked them and went back to their cell and locked themselves back in."

An investigation into how the inmates got out of their cell and their motive for attacking the guard continued Wednesday. Both are in prison for murder.

Prisons across the state are instituting no-smoking policies after the Legislature passed a law banning smoking in state buildings.


http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/28/cigarettes.hostages.ap/index.html?eref=rss_us
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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youknowtherest

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A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
 

Teflon_Mcgee

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youknowtherest said:
A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
Yeah. It's quite pathetic. I've seen cans of dip go for $30+ during tobaco shortages.
 

diablo

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youknowtherest said:
A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
I'd ask how long it takes before tobacco expires or becomes stale but realized that if there were a real emergency then it wouldn't really matter to whoever wanted to smoke them...
 

Wyldfire

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There are a few things you should never try to take from a man in prison...

1) cigarettes
2) weights
3) visits
4) mail

When prisons try to take these things away from prisoners they tend to get a bit nasty.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Wyldfire

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diablo said:
I'd ask how long it takes before tobacco expires or becomes stale but realized that if there were a real emergency then it wouldn't really matter to whoever wanted to smoke them...
People put tobacco in the freezer to keep it fresh.
 
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