"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Inmates at no-smoking prison trade hostage for cigarettes

banGbro

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I dont usually post stuff like this, but this is too funny. :crackup:



AP said:
JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) -- Two inmates housed in a smoke-free prison traded a hostage for cigarettes after a six-hour standoff.

Billy Grubb, 32, and Bradley Johnson, 25, attacked the guard Monday night, said Howard Carlton, warden of the Northeast Correctional Complex.

"As the night progressed they started saying, 'Look, we'll give up if you let us have some tobacco. If you do that, we'll go back to our cell,"' Carlton said. "They got them some cigarettes, they smoked them and went back to their cell and locked themselves back in."

An investigation into how the inmates got out of their cell and their motive for attacking the guard continued Wednesday. Both are in prison for murder.

Prisons across the state are instituting no-smoking policies after the Legislature passed a law banning smoking in state buildings.


http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/28/cigarettes.hostages.ap/index.html?eref=rss_us
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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youknowtherest

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A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
 

Teflon_Mcgee

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youknowtherest said:
A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
Yeah. It's quite pathetic. I've seen cans of dip go for $30+ during tobaco shortages.
 

diablo

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youknowtherest said:
A buddy of mine laughed when I told him that I keep 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds in my emergency supplies. He doesn't realize that after a week, some people will trade me water for a pack of smokes.
I'd ask how long it takes before tobacco expires or becomes stale but realized that if there were a real emergency then it wouldn't really matter to whoever wanted to smoke them...
 

Wyldfire

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There are a few things you should never try to take from a man in prison...

1) cigarettes
2) weights
3) visits
4) mail

When prisons try to take these things away from prisoners they tend to get a bit nasty.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Wyldfire

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diablo said:
I'd ask how long it takes before tobacco expires or becomes stale but realized that if there were a real emergency then it wouldn't really matter to whoever wanted to smoke them...
People put tobacco in the freezer to keep it fresh.
 
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