"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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In need of making new friends

eltoro69

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Sorry guy but iam new here and i came here to ask for some advice on how and where should i make friends. Do i need to join a club or is going to chruch a good time to make friends?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spukee

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As far as making friends goes, you just have to get out there and do things you enjoy. The more social you are, the more likely you are to meet people you can tolerate.

Team activities are likely to get you pretty close with some people even if you're socially inept. Look around for a local Ultimate Frisbee group, or something similar. Work is also a pretty good place to start, assuming of course that your workmates are people you'd want to spend more than a normal work day around.

Above all: Just be friendly.
 

eltoro69

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well i dont work right now but iam waiting for a call from this person. Anyways iam shy but iam loney and go crazy if i dont have friends.
 

squirrels

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Do something social that you enjoy doing and talk to other people doing the same thing.

I'm starting to realize it's best not to be shy...just talk. If they're weirded out by "strangers" talking to them, then it's their problem.
 

eltoro69

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Well i was thinking of going to a chruch to attend free bible studys classes, There is alots of teens and older people.:D
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spukee

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Originally posted by eltoro69
Well i was thinking of going to a chruch to attend free bible studys classes, There is alots of teens and older people.:D
Not my bag, but if you're into that then go for it. I'd really reccomend getting a job too, as money goes a long way in freeing you up for social situations - nothing sucks more than having to bail on your friends because you don't have enough for a couple of drinks.
 
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