Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
This one goes deep.I would agree with this. It’s typically other men who say things like:
“He’s a decent looking guy.”
“He’s an average (or slightly above/below average) looking guy.”
“He’s not a bad looking guy.”
Women don’t usually rate guys that way. It’s more binary. It’s typically more like:
“He’s hot/cute.”
Or
<Crickets>
I do think men have a broader scale tho...I'm sexually attacted to many types of women. Personality and values can make a 6 a 8 to me.No, it's much simpler. The world is divided in people you're sexually attracted to, and people you're not attracted to. Different for everyone, but you don't pursue ALL women, only the ones you're attracted to. And so does she.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Quite spot on.Saw this comment and felt like it belongs here.
I do think it's eye opening. Ofcourse it's black and white but it might make it easier to STEP OUT when you notice she isn't "that " much into you.
Discuss.
I disagree.Just because men are not very critical where they put their trouser snakes, it stands to reason that what a guy thinks is attractive is not the same as a woman's perspective, but if you're a man with discerning tastes, you don't go after everything with a pulse and a pvssy.
Because women are on the receiving end, most of them (but not all) tend to be discerning who they allow to fvck them, but I don't think they look at men like 'hey, a nine or ten' they will just get tingles. And they don't see the men they are not attracted to. Just invisible. They are looking at the attractive men.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Both are cancers on society and deserve the emptiness their indulging each other inWhat do you think is worse?
A guy who gives his time and resources in hopes he will eventually fvck the chick
or
A woman who takes all the time and resources knowing whole heartily she will never fvck the guy.
HUGE exaggeration and cope, even in 2024.Saw this comment and felt like it belongs here.
I do think it's eye opening. Ofcourse it's black and white but it might make it easier to STEP OUT when you notice she isn't "that " much into you.
Discuss.
Im not disagreeing (or agreeing) with you but that word..."Cope". Apologies to @Gamisch in advance for a slight thread derailment but some days I feel like SoSuave is basically a bunch of:HUGE exaggeration and cope, even in 2024.
Men do the same., its also revealing just how many guys individual women are actually involving themselves with at one
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I can verify this as truth. I have above average facial aesthetics, have actively exercised throughout my life, have a normal range BMI, Norwood 1 - 1.5 on balding (minimal), and 5'10" height. I've really had to battle over the years to get attention and keep attraction.But 7 won't cut it in today's landscape..
We create models when we are with other people we like. Yes, you might not like me because I'm short and I'm not a 10, but that 5 you gave me at first glance might become an 8 after some time spent in proximity and exposure. This is because a human being will create a model of any person he or she meets, based on the standard model of the "objectively attractive person" dictated by our human history and the society we live in. After spending time together, you’ll become more attractive because this model will shift from an objective one to a subjective one, varying from person to person.Saw this comment and felt like it belongs here.
I do think it's eye opening. Ofcourse it's black and white but it might make it easier to STEP OUT when you notice she isn't "that " much into you.
Discuss.
Don't know about this bro.Women's opinions change significantly the more they get to know you tho.
Initially they may rate you as a "0" but after 6 months of being around you, they might not be able to stop thinking about you.
Looks are important especially in the beginning but their importance fades over time as they begin to appreciate other qualities.
THIS!!Quite spot on.
And curiously not black and white at all.
The thing is, you just don't have to be repulsive. Which means you are a 0.
This is actually the reason this whole forum exists.
Every chick is up for grabs.
It depends only a 100% on you, and what are you doing with your life. That's attraction.
... You being physically a hot 10 does help tho.
It's not copeIm not disagreeing (or agreeing) with you but that word..."Cope". Apologies to @Gamisch in advance for a slight thread derailment but some days I feel like SoSuave is basically a bunch of:
"You dont want to ride the town bicycle? Its because you are insecure"
"I cant believe what you said is possible, you are a troll or you are coping".
But there´s good stuff in here too. We have to ignore the stuff that is useless to us and take advantage of all the good stuff.
Mini-rant over. Carry on guys.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.