“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

In a relationship - how to get past urges to cheat?

tryst type

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2007
Messages
615
Reaction score
23
Hi guys I've been in a relationship for a couple months now and it's great, problem is I've been getting more attention from girls now. Must be their innate competition wanting to win me over my gf.

Well my biological need to f*ck as many girls as possible seems to take over often and I find myself fighting the temptation but it's tough.

Also being in a relationship somehow makes most other women more attractive even the ones I would have dismissed when single.

Any tips?
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Tictac

Banned
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
3,668
Reaction score
1,244
Location
North America, probably an airport
This is where consciousness and rational thinking meet your 'lizard brain'.

You decide which one has the upper hand.

The urge to f*** other women never goes away. You need to decide what's important.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,522
Reaction score
9,613
Tictac said:
This is where consciousness and rational thinking meet your 'lizard brain'.

You decide which one has the upper hand.

The urge to f*** other women never goes away. You need to decide what's important.
This is all there is to it really. Tictac nailed it perfectly.
There's no magic secret.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
The "ethical" camp's usual response to very important practical questions like this is dismissive as usual.

They suggest doing the "right thing" while providing no practical solutions, or not even challenging the assumptions.

Why does it have to be that cheating is defined as it is defined today? What makes making out or having sex with a stripper and leaving her makes it
cheating and unethical?
 

abe0

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
253
Reaction score
17
Location
California
If you go home and tell your gf or wife you had sex with another woman and she does not think that what you did is right....and you know it would make her feel bad and you hurt her...then you did the "wrong thing" and you were a selfish unethical pr"ck. On the other hand... if you have an open relationship ...then it might be okay.
It is defined by you and your gf......Abe
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

bmp2cpm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Messages
426
Reaction score
501
Location
PA
You are thinking like a man here. No matter what, remember that any woman who is not having her needs met will cheat. We are all programmed for survival. Women need men that provide them with resources, are kind, and can protect them from unwanted males.

Men take a cheating woman really hard because it means they could end up unwillingly raising someone else's child.

Women only take cheating really hard when it means the other woman gets the resources. In fact, providing a competing woman with resources is worse then having sex with another woman. Try it some time. :)

Bottom line, men need sex and women need resources. As long as both are happy, all is good.
 

yyc12

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
212
Reaction score
14
Location
Calgary, Canada
Boilermaker said:
The "ethical" camp's usual response to very important practical questions like this is dismissive as usual.

They suggest doing the "right thing" while providing no practical solutions, or not even challenging the assumptions.

Why does it have to be that cheating is defined as it is defined today? What makes making out or having sex with a stripper and leaving her makes it
cheating and unethical?
How would you feel if your gf/wife did that? That's how we decide.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,522
Reaction score
9,613
Boilermaker said:
The "ethical" camp's usual response to very important practical questions like this is dismissive as usual.

They suggest doing the "right thing" while providing no practical solutions, or not even challenging the assumptions.

Why does it have to be that cheating is defined as it is defined today? What makes making out or having sex with a stripper and leaving her makes it
cheating and unethical?
You know, I have no problem being labeled "the ethical camp". But how is saying that you need to decide what is important for yourself suggesting doing the "right thing"?

Personally, I think cheating is a lowlife thing to do. That doesn't mean that I'm not capable of it though, and I know that being in a faithful relationship isn't for everybody. Like Tictac said, you have to decide what is important for yourself.

My parents never cheated on each other (or if they did, they were pretty good at hiding it). As a result, I was able to grow up in an intact family. So I, for one, appreciate that they weren't that selfish.
 

Frogster

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2014
Messages
95
Reaction score
7
I guess it depends upon how serious the relationship is.

If its SERIOUS, I find the easiest way to remove temptation is to tell l your girlfriend/wife about the other chick. It defuses the situation immediately.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,522
Reaction score
9,613
Boilermaker said:
The "ethical" camp's usual response to very important practical questions like this is dismissive as usual.

They suggest doing the "right thing" while providing no practical solutions, or not even challenging the assumptions.

Why does it have to be that cheating is defined as it is defined today? What makes making out or having sex with a stripper and leaving her makes it
cheating and unethical?
You know, let me just add this:

One thing I absolutely fvcking HATE about the PUA community (and probably the main reason I will never be able to fully take it seriously) is the way they push sociopathy as a way of life and idolize psycopaths. Psycopaths have no regard for other people or their feelings - they will slash your throat and only feel remorse if it affects their freedom somehow.

I am far from a perfect being, in fact I'm a pretty selfish bastard when it gets right down to it. But I know the world doesn't begin and end with me. I'm not naive, and I think you have to do for yourself and get what you want, because no one else is going to give it to you. But it doesn't hurt to have a little regard for the people around you and treat them with some respect. At the very LEAST, you could do that for the people who are closest to you, your friends, family, and even your lover/partner, if you have one.

If everyone bought into this philosophy of being sociopaths and treated everyone accordingly, what a crappy place this world would be. And considering that this is increasingly where modern thinking is taking us, it's just getting crappier.

Peace out.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
Simple, actually.

Antediluvian platitude: Nothing new under the sun, just new people. Do onto others as you would have done onto you.

Bashing or defining "morality" is a superfluous exercise.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
samspade said:
When you have an agreement with someone and you go behind her back and break the agreement, that's called cheating.

Very good. We agree up until this point. I completely agree with the latter part of your post. My critics will try to reduce my position to advocate clearly harming others against their will. That is not my point. I merely argue that the definition of *cheating* can be different for different couples.

My original premise is, what that "agreement" you refer to, can be and has to be discussed very clearly between consenting parties. And what I object to is the knee-jerk refusal of even a mere discussion of what that agreement might be.

A lot of our residents seem to believe that that cheating is defined as God's word, and they assume it is an obviously clear rule sheet that is defined very clearly in their minds. I doubt they even have the same "rules", since for some, making out with another woman is considered cheating, while for others possibly merely even thinking about it is crossing the line ... Besides, I highly doubt any such discussion regarding what defines cheating has been done in their own relationships, meaning they all wing it based on their convictions and anyone else who challenges their view (Zekko's in this case) is a "sociopath".

All these definitions are culture and time dependent, and there's no good reason to assume whatever a man desires has to be exactly the same as what a woman desires in a given relationship. There's no matter/anti-matter duality here, a woman and a man can very easily demand different things from a relationship.

What's sad is not that these men try to represent the "right way" of living as to repress all other men sexually (considering they are not repressed themselves and they just "choose to live that way) but that they REFUSE to have any such discussion regarding those who would want a more liberal definition of cheating demeaning these other men as morally inferior.
 
Last edited:

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
zekko said:
You know, let me just add this:

One thing I absolutely fvcking HATE about the PUA community (and probably the main reason I will never be able to fully take it seriously) is the way they push sociopathy as a way of life and idolize psycopaths. Psycopaths have no regard for other people or their feelings - they will slash your throat and only feel remorse if it affects their freedom somehow.

I am far from a perfect being, in fact I'm a pretty selfish bastard when it gets right down to it. But I know the world doesn't begin and end with me. I'm not naive, and I think you have to do for yourself and get what you want, because no one else is going to give it to you. But it doesn't hurt to have a little regard for the people around you and treat them with some respect. At the very LEAST, you could do that for the people who are closest to you, your friends, family, and even your lover/partner, if you have one.

If everyone bought into this philosophy of being sociopaths and treated everyone accordingly, what a crappy place this world would be. And considering that this is increasingly where modern thinking is taking us, it's just getting crappier.

Peace out.
Why don't you calm down and spare me your PUA-hate since it's really an old song now, Zekko? Nobody is trying to idolize sociopaths, you completely got it wrong even after all these years because as I said earlier, you refuse (categorically) to understand them because of your convictions (I suspect).

Let's set the stage here ... Firstly, the discussion of what constitutes cheating has to be the starting point. As someone else pointed out below, it depends on what two adults can agree/decide on and therefore it is an extremely relative notion. Pretending that there can be universal definitions of "cheating" in relationships is not just silly, but fundamentalist, and wrong.

What I like about the PUA/MRA community is that they stand up for what they want, rather than accept monogamy as a god-given , ironclad rule. They are WILLING to challenge that statement as a given, they want multiple partners as a discussion item in their list, as opposed to living in a sexually and emotionally taxing life under "honorable, ethical" pretenses.

This is NOT soliciting cheating / stealing / or deliberately hurting other people. Refusing to understand what it is that a man can possibly want from a relationship agreement and reducing the argument to anti-social behavior is a straw man method of arguing against them.

PUA community is not idealizing sociopaths, it is proposing an alternative way for the man, where the man can "have it all" as well as the woman, IF the man defines "having it all" as having sex with a number of women, possibly at the same time, refusing to readily buy into established cultural norms, or feminist conventions such as monogamy.

They are revolutionaries, and no matter how much you hate them, they have made an enormous impact.
 
Last edited:

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
yyc12 said:
How would you feel if your gf/wife did that? That's how we decide.
No that assumes complete symmetry in desires, actions and beliefs between partners. No such precise relationship between a woman and a man can be assumed.

There are many trivial examples where a woman wouldn't find it a big deal that her partner "did" something where the converse wouldn't be true.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
guru1000 said:
Do onto others as you would have done onto you.
What a deepity.

Next time I'll want to pass a quarter to the homeless, I'll restrain myself since I wouldn't want to receive that kind of charity as a non-homeless man.

There's no inherent duality in what a man and a woman would want from a relationship. Everything is relative and such a purist platitude only sounds "cool", yet it is utterly useless in practice.

No wonder it comes from the Bible, where all the answers have been given to us, so there's NO reason for us to discuss anything.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
The quarter to the homeless man might be the equivalent of a quarter million to you. Perhaps that is why you are broke at 30 years of age.

Moreover, if you have no appreciation for a quarter, why should any wealth befall on you.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
guru1000 said:
The quarter to the homeless man might be the equivalent of a quarter million to you. Perhaps that is why you are broke at 30 years of age.

Moreover, if you have no appreciation for a quarter, why should any wealth befall on you.
Who said I am "broke"? I am just not where I want to be. And what kind of an idiot would be where he would want to be at 30 years of age?

Plus, feeding a guy with a cheeseburger for 4-quarters is the same as me being bestowed a lavish 250K for no reason when I am perfectly content? Is that what the Bible says these days?

No -- I'd still not want that kind of charity, thanks.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
Boilermaker said:
Who said I am "broke"? I am just not where I want to be. And what kind of an idiot would be where he would want to be at 30 years of age?

Plus, feeding a guy with a cheeseburger for 4-quarters is the same as me being bestowed a lavish 250K for no reason when I am perfectly content? Is that what the Bible says these days?

No -- I'd still not want that kind of charity, thanks.
Emotional, are we not?

It may not be a quarter million; if could be an item of perceived value--like your useless PhD degree.

Give me a penny, and I will kiss both sides of it, save it as long as I could, and thank the almighty that I have it.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,332
Reaction score
76
guru1000 said:
Emotional, are we not?

It may not be a quarter million; if could be an item of perceived value--like your useless PhD degree.

Give me a penny, and I will kiss both sides of it, save it as long as I could, and thank the almighty that I have it.
Let's not be a troll. You are better than that.
 

Rave18

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
349
Reaction score
22
Came across the following interview and this thread at the same time

1/2
Mantak Chia - A Modern Taoist Master

by Christopher Larthe

listed in interviews, originally published in issue 42 - July 1999

Famous for his books on cultivating male and female sexuality, Mantak Chia is probably the most quoted, misquoted and plagiarised of writers on esoteric sex. Less well known is his great work as healer and teacher. He founded the system known as The Healing Tao which today has over 700 certified instructors and thousands of practitioners throughout the world, teaching and practising the Taoist arts, from Healing to Tai Chi, offering benefits ranging from stress relief to immortality.

He was born in Bangkok to Chinese parents in 1944. His father was a Baptist minister, the first break in many generations of Taoist Healers. In a land of Buddhism, with strong Hindu and animist influences, Mantak Chia was brought up as a Christian. After twenty years in the West, he now lives and works at the Tao Garden, the home and healing meditation centre he has created in Northern Thailand.

In this exclusive interview for Positive Health magazine, he talks to Christopher Larthe about healing and magic, sex and religion, mobile phones and immortality.

The traditional Taoist masters taught one-to-one, never to foreigners, and closely guarded their ancient secrets. You have written ten books and you teach Westerners in a very Western way, with workshops and group seminars. Why break with the old traditions?

My teacher, the hermit White Cloud, was last of the long lineage of masters from Long White Mountain at Chang Bai San near Manchuria. Seeing the traditional way of the Tao being repressed in his homeland, he feared the secrets of long life and good health would be lost. In exile in Hong Kong, he saw how other masters charged too much money for these secrets, just giving to one or two pupils. He felt the way to keep the Taoist practices alive was to bring them into modern society so that many could benefit. It was he who instructed me to teach Westerners but first to prove my roots with my own people.

You taught first in your home city of Bangkok and then in the Chinese community of New York.[1] Your main work was healing, but it was the sexual practices that caught the attention of your Western students. These secret arts were originally taught to enable an Emperor to enjoy his harem of wives and concubines without depleting his energies. You were brought up a Christian. Did you not feel a conflict with the Christian ideas of sin?

No conflict, for sexual practices are healing practices, healing the self, healing relationships. It is only sin if you see it as sin. Sex is natural, not sinful. The human being has a powerful sex drive – and you cannot keep ping-pong balls under water. Sometime, somewhere, they pop back up, maybe as disease, maybe as emotional problems, causing energy blockages, leading to illness.

Are you saying we should repress nothing, have sex whenever and wherever, with whoever?

I say sex is your servant, not your master. Who am I to decide where and when, or who you do it with? This is between you and your conscience. I teach how to control and harness the sexual energy, energy powerful enough for a man to repopulate a continent with a single ejaculation. And every woman is born with enough eggs to generate hundreds of lives. Without reproduction all that power is wasted. If we are not using the hormones and nutrients of sexual activity to start a new life we can recycle it to make our own life longer, healthier, more enjoyable. Not repressing, recycling!

And the moral aspect?

All the churches make the morals, but they all say different things. Some religions say sex with corpses is a sacred path to enlightenment, with others you may have several wives at once, while in others you go to hell for impure thought. What is impure thought? Every man secretly imagines being Emperor, having many women, even monks and priests, even saints – Saint Augustine said "Lord give me chastity, but please, not just yet." Some churches try to make us feel guilty for thinking natural thoughts. Yet these urges make our human species so successful, so strong, survive so many generations. Imagine an enlightened being descending to earth now and telling us it is sinful to move our bowels. We'd all go pop! We cannot help moving bowels, it is a natural function. So is sex. In the Tao we say: no right or wrong, no good or bad, just recycling the energy.

Do you still consider yourself a Christian?

I do. These are not religious practices and you don't have to convert! You can be Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim and still enjoy the benefits in the framework of your own belief system, if you have one. I am Christian, but don't belong to any church. I may start one here in the Tao Garden – we already married three couples. No, the churches teach about it being bad to do this, bad to do that. We don't have to be taught what's bad: it comes naturally. Or doing what comes naturally – they call it bad! The Western God is dominant male, very yang, enforcing law with fear of punishment, burn in hell. Society reflects this, with laws enforced by violence. Now there is imbalance between the yang of justice and the yin of compassion. True religion is about love and compassion.

What about the balance of the sexes? You have written a best seller, MultiOrgasmic Man.[2] What about multiorgasmic woman?

Woman naturally is multiorgasmic, and one of my earliest books was about cultivating female sexual energy.[3] Woman is yin. Yang and yin cannot exist without each other, so it is better if they are in harmony. Taoist practice is to promote harmony, because when the man lets go of semen, he is finished, but the woman is ready for more. When both are in tune, they have increased vigour, improved stamina, enhanced sensation, unlimited whole-body orgasms. Ideal is the multiorgasmic couple. The sexual practices are self-healing for couples.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top