"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Important health tip: Wash your hands!

ThreeStorms

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Its disgusting. People touch all things of dirty thing (poles in public busses!) then enter McD and eat their burger with their unwashed fingers, unleashing millions of micro-beasties into their bodies.
One of the most important rules for personal health is also the simplest: Wash your hands regularly!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

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I agree. I also try to push open bathroom doors with my feet. If I have to grab a metal handle, I use the tail of my shirt so that I don't have to touch the handle directly.

Besides door handles, other public area sources of germs are telephones, atms, elevator buttons, and public computer keyboards and mice. In your own house, the most germ-laden item is probably your kitchen dish rag or sponge. Pour some hydrogen peroxide on it, and it will fizz like crazy.
 

Skilla_Staz

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lol When you go to the bathroom, if they have paper towels, just use the one that you dried your hand off with to open the door, no need to get all freaky with your shirt. Too much focus on germs and ****. It builds a healthy immune system.
 

ThreeStorms

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Espi said:
Wow. Solid post.

Also:

1. Wear clean underwear...
2. Wash BEHIND your ears with soap...
3. Eat your vegatables so you'll grow to be big and strong...
4. Look both ways before crossing the street...
Yeah, make fun if you want but its something important many people seem to forget (myself included) or underrate.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Skilla_Staz

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Here you go. Avoid germs all together. Get an air sealed room in your house, grow your own food, cook things way past done to ensure you kill all bacteria, scrub down everything with bleach...

Germs are everywhere, get over it. You start trying to keep yourself healthy by killing as many as you can, your immune system is going to get weak. It's like never having to lift a weight or exercise in your life, and all of a sudden being thrown into a strongman contest.
 
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That's why women don't like it when a guy touches his face.

One of the things about body language is some care, some don't.

They don't want to kiss a guy who puts his finger in his mouth during a date.
 

djbr

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But she still kissed me after I ate her puzzy!

Neat move! :crackup:
 
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djbr said:
But she still kissed me after I ate her puzzy!

Neat move! :crackup:
LOL do you kiss her after she sucks you c0ck?
 

Warboss Alex

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It builds a healthy immune system.
in the army I lived under some truly appalling conditions, hygiene-wise - which I'll not go into because I'm eating right now, but I never got sick from it, and can't recall ever having an upset stomach or anything similar since.

I'm all for hygiene though.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Unregistered

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I kiss girls after they go down on me; it doesn't bother me. I like my own penis and would fellate myself were I physically able.

I've never kissed a girl after I ejaculated in her mouth, however. I'm not sure whether I would or not.
 

Adone

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Unregistered said:
I kiss girls after they go down on me; it doesn't bother me. I like my own penis and would fellate myself were I physically able.

I've never kissed a girl after I ejaculated in her mouth, however. I'm not sure whether I would or not.

Same here, but I ALWAYS ejaculate in her mouth, that's a prerogative.
 
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