im thinking of nexting this girl. should i really?

[-.-]

ok... why do i wanna next this girl?

it's all perfect, it's all too perfect. she seems to like me alot, and i like her alot too. but there's one problem...

she's been a friend of mine since we were 8. that's 10 years ago.

wouldnt it be sad if we broke up? if we broke up, she'd probably hate me, or i'd probably hate her. (depending on the reason why we'd break up)

that would be really awful.

a couple more things, i think she is very much LTR material and is a really nice girl. but right now, i don't think im ready for an LTR at all.

obviously, i could play this girl out and use her, but yea, i cant do it because she's been my friend for a decade.. i really wouldnt wanna do that.

so what do i do with this chick?

she probably will not wait for until im ready.

if i next her, ill never know what could have been.

am i making the right move if i next her?

opinions are most welcome...

 

[rgeere]

If you arn't interested in her LJBF her and use her social proof.

If you are interested in her than start a relationship with her.

 

[-.-]

Originally posted by rgeere
If you arn't interested in her LJBF her and use her social proof.

If you are interested in her than start a relationship with her.

#1 I am interested, i just dont think i'm ready. I mean, I'm just getting started... isnt it too early?

#2 But i cant yet, just like I said above, If i do, i feel like i'm going to cheat on her because i've sort of trained myself to flirt and approach other women.

in short, i guess, i just dont wanna hurt her.

 

[Hoppy]

If working on your game is more important to you then i say next her.

Or you could realize that there are other ways to improve yourself then picking up as many girls as you can. Focus your energy on them instead.

 

[rgeere]

On the other hand he can use her to practice on how to keep a girl, something that would come in handy at a later time.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Well, you have to take risks. So if your biggest fear is that the friendship will be ruined, go for it anyways. It will always bother you otherwise.

If you're more worried about developing your game, why not just have an open relationship with her? You're limiting your options with this exclusive or nothing stuff. How do you know she even wants an exclusive LTR and not a short fling?

 

[-.-]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Well, you have to take risks. So if your biggest fear is that the friendship will be ruined, go for it anyways. It will always bother you otherwise.

If you're more worried about developing your game, why not just have an open relationship with her? You're limiting your options with this exclusive or nothing stuff. How do you know she even wants an exclusive LTR and not a short fling?

Would a girl ive known for a decade want just a fling?

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Sure! Why not?

 

[-.-]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Sure! Why not?

That might kinda ruin the friendship thing, would it not?

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Well that seems to be YOUR belief. Is it hers? She may say she believes this but does she really? When it comes to figuring out whether she's cool with a short fling, I'll admit that I'm not certain what's the best way to go about it. Maybe talk generally and casually (not about you and her) about how you live in the moment, love meeting people and enjoying them for what they are at that moment, and aren't trying to get tied down into a LTR. Or maybe not!

As far as the "sex ruins friendships" belief goes, sure it changes the relationship from just being friends but why does it have to ruin it? Why can't no strings-attached-friendly sex strengthen the friendship like giving a friend a back rub?

On the other hand, you're probably implying that sex would bring an attachment to each other and seeing that person with other lovers later on would bring jealousy and ruin the friendship. So if you don't think YOU could handle seeing her with other lovers, then it's probably not a good idea to have a short fling.

Since I've been in your position, I think it's more important to evaluate whether you're bringing the friendship obstacle up as an excuse not to act.

 

[Dee-Zy]

You worry far too much into the future. When you get to the point where she is saying 'I want to be exclusive' - then, start thinking about it. Until then, do what you want to do. From what I'm getting, I doubt that you want to 'play her' anyways. So just hang out with her, have fun with her (in all the ways that YOU want), then deal with the problems as they fall. Not before.

 

[-.-]

that really helps guys. thanks.