"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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im thinking of nexting this girl. should i really?

?

-.-

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ok... why do i wanna next this girl?

it's all perfect, it's all too perfect. she seems to like me alot, and i like her alot too. but there's one problem...

she's been a friend of mine since we were 8. that's 10 years ago.

wouldnt it be sad if we broke up? if we broke up, she'd probably hate me, or i'd probably hate her. (depending on the reason why we'd break up)

that would be really awful.

a couple more things, i think she is very much LTR material and is a really nice girl. but right now, i don't think im ready for an LTR at all.

obviously, i could play this girl out and use her, but yea, i cant do it because she's been my friend for a decade.. i really wouldnt wanna do that.

so what do i do with this chick?

she probably will not wait for until im ready.

if i next her, ill never know what could have been.

am i making the right move if i next her?

opinions are most welcome...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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?

-.-

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Originally posted by rgeere
If you arn't interested in her LJBF her and use her social proof.

If you are interested in her than start a relationship with her.
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#1 I am interested, i just dont think i'm ready. I mean, I'm just getting started... isnt it too early?

#2 But i cant yet, just like I said above, If i do, i feel like i'm going to cheat on her because i've sort of trained myself to flirt and approach other women.

in short, i guess, i just dont wanna hurt her. :(
 
H

Hoppy

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If working on your game is more important to you then i say next her.

Or you could realize that there are other ways to improve yourself then picking up as many girls as you can. Focus your energy on them instead.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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A

AlwaysExcel

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Well, you have to take risks. So if your biggest fear is that the friendship will be ruined, go for it anyways. It will always bother you otherwise.

If you're more worried about developing your game, why not just have an open relationship with her? You're limiting your options with this exclusive or nothing stuff. How do you know she even wants an exclusive LTR and not a short fling?
 
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-.-

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Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Well, you have to take risks. So if your biggest fear is that the friendship will be ruined, go for it anyways. It will always bother you otherwise.

If you're more worried about developing your game, why not just have an open relationship with her? You're limiting your options with this exclusive or nothing stuff. How do you know she even wants an exclusive LTR and not a short fling?
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Would a girl ive known for a decade want just a fling?
 
A

AlwaysExcel

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Well that seems to be YOUR belief. Is it hers? She may say she believes this but does she really? When it comes to figuring out whether she's cool with a short fling, I'll admit that I'm not certain what's the best way to go about it. Maybe talk generally and casually (not about you and her) about how you live in the moment, love meeting people and enjoying them for what they are at that moment, and aren't trying to get tied down into a LTR. Or maybe not!

As far as the "sex ruins friendships" belief goes, sure it changes the relationship from just being friends but why does it have to ruin it? Why can't no strings-attached-friendly sex strengthen the friendship like giving a friend a back rub?

On the other hand, you're probably implying that sex would bring an attachment to each other and seeing that person with other lovers later on would bring jealousy and ruin the friendship. So if you don't think YOU could handle seeing her with other lovers, then it's probably not a good idea to have a short fling.

Since I've been in your position, I think it's more important to evaluate whether you're bringing the friendship obstacle up as an excuse not to act.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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D

Dee-Zy

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You worry far too much into the future. When you get to the point where she is saying 'I want to be exclusive' - then, start thinking about it. Until then, do what you want to do. From what I'm getting, I doubt that you want to 'play her' anyways. So just hang out with her, have fun with her (in all the ways that YOU want), then deal with the problems as they fall. Not before.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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