"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Im so thin...

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the-tiger

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Im to dam thin.

I have a stomach ulcer, my mum makes me 1 meal a day coz shes so ****ing lazy, i dont know how to cook, i havent got enough money to buy take aways and my mum wont even let me cook AHAHA wot a women, im so dam unlucky haha thats funny but true

So how cud i gain weight
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Cheiradawg

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Report yourself to social services.
 
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sfalexi

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Get a job in some kitchen that pays cash. THe job will suck (probably dishwasing or something like that), but it'll be a little bit of cash under the table, no work permit necessary, and more than likely, if you're bosses like you, they'll make you something to eat when the place is slow for your break (usually for free if they like ya). That's what I did for a few months when I was 14.
 
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Alpine

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Well No1 is to treat the ulcer, there's no point trying to gain if you're ill, especially a GI illness.

Are you Asian? What's the healthcare like in your country?

There are various treatments for ulcers, get it sorted, then start worrying about gaining (on second thoughts, no, whatever you do don't start worrying. :D)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Lost

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Originally posted by MindOverMatter
learn how to cook things for yourself.
Click to expand...
learn how to read things for yourself.

the guy said his mom doesnt let him cook. (by the way, what the **** is up with that)?

Do what someone suggested, get a job to get money for food.

Food is the only way you'll grow. Lifting weights doesnt mean **** without a lot of food.
 
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the-tiger

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ok thanks huys, ill just buy loads of micro waved food i think..
 
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Julian

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^^worst thing you could do.

Not only does the food taste like ass, its actually really expensive too.

Only thing worthwhile are big huge frozen pizzas because you can munch on one of those for like 2 days if you have 3 slices a meal.

Depending on the size of the pizza thats alot of meals for a cheap price.

hahaha but since i live at home again i dont worry about that ish.
 
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Alpine

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Yeah pizza, and beer as well:rolleyes:

Then you can have another ulcer to keep the other one company:D
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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skinnydart

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Raman noodles: 10 cents a package. Just wait until you're mom goes to bed, then raid the kitchen.
 
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SupaDupaAFC

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Buy a bucket of Whey Protein. It digests easily and is cheap compared to other protein sources. A B-Vitamin complex will make more efficient use of the food you already eat.
 
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