"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I'm finally out of LJBF zone

lighthouse1956

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I started hanging around my late wife's best friend (Jan) soon after she died, and she ljbf me several times. Now, I almost married another woman (Lil)which looks very similar to my wife. Then Lil got upset about favors I did for Jan and they had an argument with each other, and I did not side with Lil and defended my right to have my own friends and help them where I see fit.

A few days later Jan calls me, tells me she did not realize how much she missed me, and wants me to know she has feelings for me "before it's too late".

I guess there's a lesson in here somewhere, but why did it take so long, and when I was almost 'off the market'?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Deadly_Assassin

Master Don Juan
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I guess chicks always want what others have. Or maybe Jan wants to get back at Lil?
 

SilverSonnet

Senior Don Juan
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Wouldn't you like to know? ;)
Wow, you've got some serious deciding to do. But, decide wisely. 'Cos Jan, might just be a little jealous that Lil is getting you. I'd personally stick with Lil, as she is who you chose and that Jan told you too late. Her fault, dont feel ANY guilt for this, you gave her plenty of chances. Good luck with your future marriage. Hope you have an awesome wedding :)
 

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
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So, to clear up. . .

You "do favours" for a woman, and your wife to be is annoyed. . . and you side with the other woman, so you can keep doing her favours, in the hope that she tells you she loves you.

and she ljbf me several times.
That should have been it. Any time chasing, or convincing otherwise stinks of desperation.

I don't want to hate on you, but you've hung onto the notion of Jan liking you for faaaar to long. This time should have been spent on other women (to be fair, you got lil), who you then turned on when she had a confrontation with Jan.

You don't owe women favours. You don't owe Jan your time.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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L B

Master Don Juan
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If you are serious with Lil, drop Jan asap. Don't waste anymore time with Jan and mess up your relationship with Lil. Men and women cannot be friends.
 

Juan_Man

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First off, let me offer my condolences to you for losing your wife. Also, keep in mind that Jan probably didn't want to get involved with you because she was your late wife's best friend. Jan probably thought she would have been betraying her, even though your wife has passed on. But the choice is yours. Personally, if you really like Lil, then I say that she is the one you should be with. But if you still have feelings for Jan, well....like I said, the choice is yours.
 
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