Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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I'm finally out of LJBF zone

lighthouse1956

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I started hanging around my late wife's best friend (Jan) soon after she died, and she ljbf me several times. Now, I almost married another woman (Lil)which looks very similar to my wife. Then Lil got upset about favors I did for Jan and they had an argument with each other, and I did not side with Lil and defended my right to have my own friends and help them where I see fit.

A few days later Jan calls me, tells me she did not realize how much she missed me, and wants me to know she has feelings for me "before it's too late".

I guess there's a lesson in here somewhere, but why did it take so long, and when I was almost 'off the market'?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Deadly_Assassin

Master Don Juan
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I guess chicks always want what others have. Or maybe Jan wants to get back at Lil?
 

SilverSonnet

Senior Don Juan
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Wouldn't you like to know? ;)
Wow, you've got some serious deciding to do. But, decide wisely. 'Cos Jan, might just be a little jealous that Lil is getting you. I'd personally stick with Lil, as she is who you chose and that Jan told you too late. Her fault, dont feel ANY guilt for this, you gave her plenty of chances. Good luck with your future marriage. Hope you have an awesome wedding :)
 

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
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So, to clear up. . .

You "do favours" for a woman, and your wife to be is annoyed. . . and you side with the other woman, so you can keep doing her favours, in the hope that she tells you she loves you.

and she ljbf me several times.
That should have been it. Any time chasing, or convincing otherwise stinks of desperation.

I don't want to hate on you, but you've hung onto the notion of Jan liking you for faaaar to long. This time should have been spent on other women (to be fair, you got lil), who you then turned on when she had a confrontation with Jan.

You don't owe women favours. You don't owe Jan your time.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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L B

Master Don Juan
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If you are serious with Lil, drop Jan asap. Don't waste anymore time with Jan and mess up your relationship with Lil. Men and women cannot be friends.
 

Juan_Man

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First off, let me offer my condolences to you for losing your wife. Also, keep in mind that Jan probably didn't want to get involved with you because she was your late wife's best friend. Jan probably thought she would have been betraying her, even though your wife has passed on. But the choice is yours. Personally, if you really like Lil, then I say that she is the one you should be with. But if you still have feelings for Jan, well....like I said, the choice is yours.
 
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