"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I'm a loser..approach journal

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
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So i thought i had it down with the ladies, turn out i didn't. I now see, more than ever, that i need practice to get better with my approaches. Please leave some insight and helpful hints..

7/17/07
#1 (don't know if this really counts as approach)
I'm leaving work, and going to the elevator. I see a HB6 i've seen around the company. She's already getting into the elevator, so i follow, and squeeze in before the doors close...

Me: Dang, trying to kill me..(smile, make eye contact)
HB: laughs...sorry... Hey, I've seen you around, I'm blha blah,
Me: hey blah, I'm bb2k, puts out hand to shake hers.(tries to keep it gentle and last a little longer than avg.)
So we talk about ****, as we walk out the building, we get to the corner
HB: so i'm going this way blah blah
Me: ohh, me too, I'll walk with you, unless your trying to get rid of me
HB: laughs, no, blah blha
so we walk a couple blocks, and I try to keep the convo going, asking her where she lives, what she does for fun.. So we arrive to the stop i thought she was going to turn, so i shake her hand and tell her good bye, and turn for my block..I notice she's going the same way
Me: Still following me huh (smile keep eye contact)
Her: blha blah
pause in convo as we manuver through crowd
Then she picks up back the convo
I'm approach my s top so i tell her i'll catch her later

Not the best approach, I don't even know if it counts since she technically started by introducing herself. I think i came off a little afc; i also think i did more qualifing than made her qualify... I need to keep practicing, leave me some good suggestions guys
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Skel

Master Don Juan
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It seems you did ok. You introduced yourself and actually made small talk which is more than most of the so called DJ's can do on this forum. Just keep practicing and try to number close once you get comfortable approaching.
 

On Point

Don Juan
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Sounds like she was wanting you to #close. If you don't do it when they're expecting it you end up in the friend zone, but good job for approaching.

You did good with the jokes and role reversal. Sounds like you might be a little too hard on yourself or overanalyzing. It's good to keep the interaction short like you did, you just got to #close!

blackbelt2k said:
So i thought i had it down with the ladies, turn out i didn't. I now see, more than ever, that i need practice to get better with my approaches. Please leave some insight and helpful hints..

7/17/07
#1 (don't know if this really counts as approach)
I'm leaving work, and going to the elevator. I see a HB6 i've seen around the company. She's already getting into the elevator, so i follow, and squeeze in before the doors close...

Me: Dang, trying to kill me..(smile, make eye contact)
HB: laughs...sorry... Hey, I've seen you around, I'm blha blah,
Me: hey blah, I'm bb2k, puts out hand to shake hers.(tries to keep it gentle and last a little longer than avg.)
So we talk about ****, as we walk out the building, we get to the corner
HB: so i'm going this way blah blah
Me: ohh, me too, I'll walk with you, unless your trying to get rid of me
HB: laughs, no, blah blha
so we walk a couple blocks, and I try to keep the convo going, asking her where she lives, what she does for fun.. So we arrive to the stop i thought she was going to turn, so i shake her hand and tell her good bye, and turn for my block..I notice she's going the same way
Me: Still following me huh (smile keep eye contact)
Her: blha blah
pause in convo as we manuver through crowd
Then she picks up back the convo
I'm approach my s top so i tell her i'll catch her later

Not the best approach, I don't even know if it counts since she technically started by introducing herself. I think i came off a little afc; i also think i did more qualifing than made her qualify... I need to keep practicing, leave me some good suggestions guys
 

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Location
NJ / NYC
I wanted to # close, but at sometime during the convo, she said the bars she goes to are 25 and up for the gents cause its more upscale.. I think this was a shyt test in a way, but not too sure.. but i replied, something along the lines of "I can wing my way in, just tell them, I'VE GOT MONEY!" ... which got a laugh... she wasn't giving much kino though, i touched her a few times, but she never really initiated any touching... just for future reference, does this mean a no go?
 

Analytic

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First thing that caught me is your thread title, why are you calling yourself a loser? you're defeating yourself before you even start. I hope you don't have this mindset when approuching.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
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Analytic said:
First thing that caught me is your thread title, why are you calling yourself a loser? you're defeating yourself before you even start. I hope you don't have this mindset when approuching.
lol, no, i typed it jokingly..simply pointing out the face that i sucked at the approach, lol
 

Omen

Master Don Juan
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Seemed good to me. I may have left off the where do you live part because you never know how a woman might interpret that. I might have saved that for later.

You do have those women that go... This guy just met me, and we talked for like 2min and he asked where I lived.

We all know women are messed up, so leaving the where do you live part out, may be better next time.

And not that it screwed anything up, you just never know with a woman.

You.. .Where do you live?
Her... In New York. (ha ha)

Then she does this gossip crap with her friends.... I wonder if he wanted my address? He could have just asked for the number.

What ever, girls are whacked :)
 

On Point

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2007
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If she isn't reacting badly to the kino just keep moving forward. Read her actions, but don't waste time trying to read her mind. I expect most woman aren't going to initiate much of anything.

As far as where they live, I usually ask "What part of town are you from?" so I can get an idea of how far away they live without making them nervous.

blackbelt2k said:
I wanted to # close, but at sometime during the convo, she said the bars she goes to are 25 and up for the gents cause its more upscale.. I think this was a shyt test in a way, but not too sure.. but i replied, something along the lines of "I can wing my way in, just tell them, I'VE GOT MONEY!" ... which got a laugh... she wasn't giving much kino though, i touched her a few times, but she never really initiated any touching... just for future reference, does this mean a no go?
 

KneghtRyder

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
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tell us some backgrond about yourself ...are you good looking ...how much experience etc
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

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