Im a better person when I drink

[Foe]

I started drinking when I was 18 and it instantly turned me from the meek, mild mannered nerd into a extrovert with quick wit and massive charm. Since then I have been honing the alter ego to the point where I can go out any time I want, make friends and get laid.

The problem is I have not really changed much as a sober person, I'm a little more outgoing but honestly I'm still that 18 year old nerd, at least to me anyway. Lately I've been dating a legit 10, was a model in Mulan etc natural extrovert and never touched alcohol or drugs in her entire life. She has straight up told me she prefers me drunk, I can match her energy in this mode but here's the catch, I'm 46 years old now and its starting to effect my health.

I've always maintained a fairly high physique and health so I can tell the difference. I'm still getting away with it but I see this downward trend continuing exponentially. My joints are starting to ache after a big night, my blood pressure is increasing.

What do I do. To me it feels if I pull the pin on my Mr Hyde Im going back about 20 years and starting from scratch.

 

[BaronOfHair]

What do I do

A couple of ideas:

-Get grateful for the fact that you've made it this far in life, before developing serious health problems, even though you've been boozing hard-core since aged 18. The vast majority of folks who go down this route see their bodies and minds go to sh-t by time their in their late 20s-mid 30s. You're extremely fortunate to even be alive, given the wringer you've put yourself through

-Recognize that all the booze does is lower inhibitions: Those traits that make you a hit with the ladies when sloshed are already inside you. Alcohol doesn't gift anyone with superpowers

-Find yourself a skillful shrink, who doesn't hesitate to be brutally honest with his or her clients, in order to deal with the emotional troubles that drive your problem drinking

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I started drinking when I was 18 and it instantly turned me from the meek, mild mannered nerd into a extrovert with quick wit and massive charm. Since then I have been honing the alter ego to the point where I can go out any time I want, make friends and get laid.

The problem is I have not really changed much as a sober person, I'm a little more outgoing but honestly I'm still that 18 year old nerd, at least to me anyway. Lately I've been dating a legit 10, was a model in Mulan etc natural extrovert and never touched alcohol or drugs in her entire life. She has straight up told me she prefers me drunk, I can match her energy in this mode but here's the catch, I'm 46 years old now and its starting to effect my health.

I've always maintained a fairly high physique and health so I can tell the difference. I'm still getting away with it but I see this downward trend continuing exponentially. My joints are starting to ache after a big night, my blood pressure is increasing.

What do I do. To me it feels if I pull the pin on my Mr Hyde Im going back about 20 years and starting from scratch.

You can explore supplement alternatives like L-theanine or phenibut. USSR astronauts used to drink vodka to calm their nerves before launches, but were found to sometimes get too intoxicated and make mistakes. Phenibut was developed specifically to calm their nerves the same way without the debilitating effects from alcohol, so that is likely your best bet.

Since it's a powder you can find your perfect dose then wean off as you come out of your shell in sobriety.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I would just go full sober:

I quit drinking over 3 months ago and it's the best decision I ever made in my life.

You're 46, maybe look for a GF who can be a bit more at ease with your real self which isn't a magnetic charm bomb but a quieter guy.

I laugh when I hear this type of logic bc it's like saying "On meth, I can finally concentrate on mathematics and programming".

If you need a drug to do it, then that means your real self probably doesn't enjoy it the same way. You probably can unlock charisma soberly but it comes out in different contexts. Familiarize yourself with those contexts.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I went through a period in my life where I drank, smoked, and did other things that not only put me in debt, but also left me with a lot of regret. It’s a time I’m definitely not proud of.

I haven’t drunk, smoked, or been under the influence of any kind in over three years now. I don’t really have any tips, but I can say that I don’t miss drinking at all. Personally, it always felt like the first 30 minutes were great, and then after that, I’d start to feel sick and gross.

 

[zekko]

A little alcohol can help break someone out of their shell, but when you start relying on it to "be a better person", you're setting yourself up to deceive yourself. It doesn't sound like your model has your best interests at heart, she's just interested in having fun. If you think it's affecting your health, you should listen to your body. People who only like you when you're drunk aren't true friends.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are 46 and allowing someone to tell you who you have to be in life?

Buddy you are so far lost I'm not sure this board can help you.

You have far bigger problems than keeping this woman.

Your mindset and belief system is FUBAR

 

[Bible_Belt]

Comedian John Mulaney talks about going to rehab and finally realizing that he was a success as an entertainer not because of the drugs, but in spite of them.

 

[Gamisch]

Im a better person when I drink
Thread starterFoe


No you're not. You're a WORSE version of yourself. That, me amigo, is your ADDICTION that's talking. You're an alcoholic basically...and that's coming from a man who" struggles" with alcohol himself.

Any kinda ( recreational)drugs( alcohol = harddrugs) that you take only enhances certain traits that you possess by default. Read that twice

You can take molly and be all lovey dovey. Little you know that you could be equally lovely WITHOUT the molly. Hyped without the blow. Chill without the grass. Ect. Alcohol is the most acceptable drug but it's still hardcore. Don't ever underestimate the devastating power of liquor .

The art is to find that switch in your brain and turn it on when you are sober. Not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with a alcoholic beverage now and then, but this sounds like you're dependent on it. Once you hit that conclusion it's time to lessen your intake drastically

The real test will present itself when you deal with hot Miss All Healthy who doesn't drink, and thus forces you to withhold from alcohol. How you gonna get through a phone conversation, date, sex, pillow talk and aftercare without being hammered? You gotta be able to be a chameleon. If she drinks too? Cool. If she doesn't..you gotta be able to adjust accordingly.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Milan is in northern Italy but don't succumb to Italian social standards. They are extreme outliers in extraversion.

You can either ditch the "10" (lol) or end up in an A&E "Intervention" episode. Your choice.

 

[Krueg]

I use to think the same way till I gave up drugs and alcohol. I feel way better and love it. And yes its different trying to learn how to live your life sober. But, once you start replacing your bad habits with good habits you will see the light!

 

[plumber]

there is a fixed set of brain chemicals that control everything. external substances basically affect these by suppression or activation. causes us to feel different, better. the substances often have other affects that are bad. for example beer puts on fat.

often that foggy or non charismatic feeling is real and caused by chemical imbalance that the drug or compound adjust temporarily.

for men getting T/E testosterone/estrogen's ratio just right gives the best version of self. usually removes the desire for other compounds to feel better because you will already feel great and confident and be the one you want to be. often the craving for alcohol driven from the imbalance.

this is the switch

 

[Bokanovsky]

A couple of ideas:

-Get grateful for the fact that you've made it this far in life, before developing serious health problems, even though you've been boozing hard-core since aged 18. The vast majority of folks who go down this route see their bodies and minds go to sh-t by time their in their late 20s-mid 30s. You're extremely fortunate to even be alive, given the wringer you've put yourself through

I didn't get the impression that he was getting hammered every day; just when he went out. Still not a good thing to do, especially as you get older.

To the OP: imagine you are on a sinking boat, and you have a chest with $10 million worth of gold bars with you. Do you (a) abandon the boat and save yourself or (b) go down with the boat and your gold?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I didn't get the impression that he was getting hammered every day; just when he went out

If he hasn't been going out 5-6 nights a week for over 2 decades, that'd be fine. OP's posts thus far imply his booze intake has been anything but "moderate" though

"Do you (a) abandon the boat and save yourself or (b) go down with the boat and your gold?"

Answer to that'll depend heavily upon how much of a Dido admirer

OP is

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Foe,
I drank about a bottle of Wine a night for close to 50 years and would say I took more out of it than it took out of me....But comes a time,I started getting gastric reflux about four years ago,gave up the grog and after a few years the GERD is no longer a big problem,and energy levels are much higher.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I started drinking when I was 18 and it instantly turned me from the meek, mild mannered nerd into a extrovert with quick wit and massive charm. Since then I have been honing the alter ego to the point where I can go out any time I want, make friends and get laid.

The problem is I have not really changed much as a sober person, I'm a little more outgoing but honestly I'm still that 18 year old nerd, at least to me anyway. Lately I've been dating a legit 10, was a model in Mulan etc natural extrovert and never touched alcohol or drugs in her entire life. She has straight up told me she prefers me drunk, I can match her energy in this mode but here's the catch, I'm 46 years old now and its starting to effect my health.

I've always maintained a fairly high physique and health so I can tell the difference. I'm still getting away with it but I see this downward trend continuing exponentially. My joints are starting to ache after a big night, my blood pressure is increasing.

What do I do. To me it feels if I pull the pin on my Mr Hyde Im going back about 20 years and starting from scratch.

You therapy

 

[Foe]

All good advice, the irony is that people see me as a ****y guy with lots of self confidence and I feel anything but unless Im drinking in which case I can see it, or feel it.

I do need a long term strat through as this is starting to mess with me. The mulan girl gave me a massive **** test yesterday, broke up with me, I acted completely non cholent and had her screaming in my bed that night. The truth is I don't think you can date a hot girl and not get at least some level of crazy, this girl is a nymph and wants it multiple times a day which in my current level of testosterone is completely not happening.

I've thought heavily about getting on HRT, my last test result was less then overwhelming and I feel like it could solve multiple issues I have running right now. My main hesitation is I know once I start Im stuck with it and I still get gains at the gym, its just my sex drive.

Honestly Its been dipping for a few years now, once a day is about it for me, though I only get excited for it after I go a few days without.