"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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If your wife threatens a divorce, how do you handle?

oboman

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Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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katatonia

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Act like you don't care and beat her to the punch, or threaten to.
 

jophil28

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Read my thread about "Counselors..". There is a message in there for you.

Here is a tip - never submit to threats, or obey demands for blackmail money, or negotiate with terrorists.
 
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zekko

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My opinion is that once a woman even brings up the D word, it is GOING to happen, it's just a matter of time. I would start preparing for the eventuality, squirreling away cash that she won't know about or is able to get to. I don't think a bank account is safe for this, because her lawyer may be able to find it?

As Jophil says, you can't give in to threats. If there are legitimate issues, you can try to work these out, but not under threat of divorce.
 
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Ballie

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I agree with the above advice. Threatening to divorce you is their final trump card - it's like a man giving you a sucker punch. You can either fold and become her b*tch or you can fight back by accepting.

You owe her nothing now and need to contact your lawer to protect your interests. Its going to be a rollercoaster ride from now on mate - read my thread in the tips section on how to handle the actual event and welcome to the club.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Nutz

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oboman said:
Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.
Play along nicely, do whatever she needs. Do so only to BUY YOURSELF TIME. If she's making threats it's time to leave. What you should be doing is transferring your assets overseas or to family, building up a nest egg to cover the divorce, and make damn sure you both have separate accounts and she's got her own job. If you can take a lower paying job that brings you closer to parity in pay, assuming she makes less, then do that as well. The system is completely biased against men and you need to protect yourself, as well as your assets and future income.

Check out Fire Your Wife and then read these books:

Taken Into Custody by Dr. Stephen Baskerville

That B!tch: How to protect yourself

Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce
 
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zekko

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I think it's a little premature to contact a lawyer. Lawyers cost money.
But I agree with Nutz, play along nicely to buy yourself time, that sounds like solid advice.
I don't think a divorce is necessarily imminent, but it is likely inevitable.
It could be months, or years, before she pulls the trigger.
 

Nutz

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Bible_Belt said:
Exactly. That is the perfect response.

ONLY once you have your ducks in a row. If she does like the OP says, then he does like I said above, and then in 6 months when she starts up again with threatening divorce he should go for it. Just make sure he files first.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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vitor

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I agree with above. One to two times a week from now on goto the grocery store buy 5$ in grocerys and take out an extra 50-60$ in cash, give it to your brother or someone you trust. Once she files the paper work she is going to start tracking all the money. She might still love you but no longer respects you, start worrying about YOU..
 

Andy_Dufresne

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Flip every possible asset you can into cash, then give it to someone you trust.

Split up the accounts, make sure all credit cards are in her name.

Then next time she brings it up...take squirrels advice.

Make sure SHE leaves, not you. Furniture and home furnishings are expensive to replace; believe me I've been there.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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If you bring her to my court, we shall laugh heartily as she is thrown off the cliff in front of my palace.

But "there's the door" is the mentality you must cultivate.

If divorce becomes imminent, I would liquidate all assets, buy gold, and bury it under a tree until everything is finalized.

Hell, it'll be worth more when you dig it up.
 

Rounder

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After 2 divorces, let me chime in.

IMHO, once the word "divorce" is uttered in the house the marriage is probably over. Most people - especially people in their first marriage only look at divorce as a last option, but once the word is said and thought is given to it, suddenly it doesn't seem so bad.

Start making some decisions for yourself and figure out what YOU want to happen.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Oboman,
Never judge a Woman by what she says,rather watch what she does.....The Dog that is going to attack you rarely warns you of his intent by barking,he just does it,that's how my two divorces went,out of the blue,emotional Pearl Harbours...No this is a cry for attention,give it to her in a cool rational manner,my initial reaction would be "That's a bit extreme isn't it?what did I do this time?leave the top off the toothpaste"so defuse things a bit,use a little humour....A highly intelligent friend of mine had his wife confront him thus over leaving a soggy dish cloth in the sink,he's still with her...The one thing you don't want to do is lay the law down and beat your chest,won't work in 2009,they have to many bvitchy mates to give them advice,too many bolt holes....Sure surrupticiously secrete some brass,see a Solicitor,work out a plan of action should the axe fall,if you have to vacate in a hurry think what you need to grab and where you are going to put it,have a good friend wised up to help you....remember any overt reaction on your part will be seen as an escalation by her,once you start down that road it leads to one place only...In our actions we often initiate in others their anticipated reactions..So consider whether you want her and if you do maybe take her on a holiday,keep her happy,defuse this silly situation,perhaps she has some dumbassed divorcee pals whose life style looks a little alluring,that's often the case,but then again maybe working so hard to put the fruit on the sideboard you have dropped your game a bit,it's not easy is it?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Don Israel

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Unless she has bi-polar disease or told you that while she was drunk, it's a more serious matter to consider. Ironically, if she seems to maintain that "i'm gonna divorce you if/or/because" the proper way to handle this is to call her bluff. (It's a bluff. If she wanted a divorce she would show you papers)

I mean....

Why would I stay with someone who even DARES to threaten me in such a fashion?!

Let her know that you are not threatened by it, and let's see what she has to say. Her move.



Women... who the hell they think they're messing with.
 

Nutz

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Granted the be all, end all solution to this is to NOT GET MARRIED in the first place.
 

jophil28

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oboman said:
Any married man here?

I'm no where near a don juan, which is why my wife threatens to divorce me. I know no fault, but how would you guys here handle such situation?

Thanks for any tips and input.
THis kind of threat may be have several explanations or a few different underlying objectives.
The first move is to stabilize yourself and reduce your panic so that you can think and act clearly.

I would say," A divorce ? Sounds serious. When would you like to sit down and discuss the details?"

Her response to this calm approach by you will tell you a lot in itself.
IF she is indeed serious, then she will be ready to talk this out. That means that she is preparing to move on with her life and has planned this moment (usually with the "'help and support"of her divorced single mommy friends who also can't maintain or sustain an adult relationship).

IF she becomes hissy and emotional when you suggest "a talk" , then I would suspect that this threat is faked-up attention seeking. Make no mistake, she is upset. The question is about what ?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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